Candy corn

[Mike]

I just realized that I didn't see a whole lot of candy corn this year. Normally, candy dishes everywhere are packed with it from mid-October til after Thanksgiving. I'm guessing Covid has been a factor this year or something, but I just haven't see it much. Until just now. Dude had a whole open bag of caramel candy corn on his desk, and it was all I could do to not steal the whole thing.

Don't judge me. Candy corn is a terrible candy if I buy it for myself. Can't stand it. Won't eat it. But as I've explained before, candy corn stolen from someone else's desk is friggin ambrosia! Love it! If it's just a little stale/firm (not crunchy), even better. Mixed with peanuts? Oh, just try to stop me. Doesn't matter if it's traditional or pumpkin shaped or one of the flavored varieties. They all work.

That's why I thought for sure that I love candy corn. But after the third or so time that I bought it for myself, I realized that no, I hate candy corn. But I love stolen candy corn. Yeah... I know. I can't explain it either.

[Eliahad]

There's a certain... Thrill... Isn't there?

[Kyle]

I've noticed this in myself as well. Lately I've had to stop eating it because some varieties include gluten, so that sucks. But I think the key is the quantities you're eating it in. When I'd take a small handful off someone's desk and eat it back in my office- it was so sweet and good. I'd even go back and sneak a second helping. But still, in the realm of things, you're not consuming that much candy corn.

But when I'd buy a bag, I'd often sit down and eat at least half of it (often all of it) in one setting. And under those circumstances, the waxiness comes to the front and you become desensitized to the yummy sweetness. And then when you're done, you feel a little sick to your stomach from all the sugar.

Lesson- moderation is great.

[Mike]

To hell with Kyle...

Lesson: stealing makes shit better!

[Phoebe]

These days I don't like super sweet candy anymore, too cloying for my old taste buds, but I remember the special joy of candy corn and the systematic OCD pleasure of biting off each layer of color. Ahhh.

[Mando]

circus peanuts...the orange puffy things. vomitrocious

sugar coated fruit/wax/licorice wedges...to die for

[Eliahad]

Have you tried stolen orange puffy things?

[Mando]

Have you tried stolen orange puffy things?

no one steals those

[Stan]

Have you tried stolen orange puffy things?

no one steals those

Correct. I would think less of people who have those out.

I was thinking candy corn was the worst until I reminded of the existence of circus peanuts. What kind of demented, creepy circus did these things come from? I believe that people who take a liking to circus peanuts transmogrify into evil clowns.

[Phoebe]

Honestly could not say whether that is worse than the four layer stack of candy would sometimes get that looked like a borg cube, about 1 inch square, with a sequence of burnt coconut on the bottom, then a layer of poop, a slightly thicker layer of marshmallow, and then Pepto-Bismol layer on the top. Does anyone know what the hell that thing was? Evil.

"sugar coated fruit/wax/licorice wedges."
I'm trying to think of what this is. The only example I can come up with is orange slices? Like the jellies or gummies with sugar on the outside? How would that work with licorice? That's what makes me think I'm not identifying the right object

[Stan]

Honestly could not say whether that is worse than the four layer stack of candy would sometimes get that looked like a borg cube, about 1 inch square, with a sequence of burnt coconut on the bottom, then a layer of poop, a slightly thicker layer of marshmallow, and then Pepto-Bismol layer on the top. Does anyone know what the hell that thing was? Evil.

I don't recall anything like that but it sounds almost as bad circus peanuts.

[Phoebe]

It was the precursor to this but not exactly this: The previous ones used to be an exact inch square cube and they had four layers and there was a dark black fudgy layer which we can go ahead and call poo and then the bottom one was brown and crusty.

[Stan]

Ooh, I remember those, not sure about the precursor. Yep, those are bad, too.