You may only post here if you are drunk. Seriously, respect the thread. If you post here and you aren't drunk, I'll be forced to delete it. But Kyle set the precedent that I can't even delete your posts unless I'M drunk too, so who knows when THAT'LL happen. I mean, seriously, I barely drink at all, much less drinking to the point of being drunk. It'll never happen.
Screw Kyle Kyle and his stupid "precedent". I'll do what I want! Plus, all this typing is making me feel sober, so I need to go walk around to remind myself that I'm not.
Drunk posting
Drunk posting
Any time the solution is "banjo rifle", I'm in 100%.
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Omigod. So we're in a hotel and more than a little toasted, and my wife gets a text from a wrong number saying, "sorry I couldn't make it in today, but I'll be there tomorrow... blah blah blah."
So Lisa texts back and says, "YOU'RE FIRED!"
But then she explains they got a wrong number. They took it well.
So Lisa texts back and says, "YOU'RE FIRED!"
But then she explains they got a wrong number. They took it well.
Any time the solution is "banjo rifle", I'm in 100%.
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I vaguely meet the prerequisite for this thread.
Bad day.
I think that I’ve been getting through the pandemic stuff a lot better than many, including psychologically. I don't think it’s hit me too hard there; I think my dark moods have nothing to do with the quarantine. And of course I only hate myself because I deserve it.
Although there is an upside—to paraphrase Nietzsche, at least the person who hates himself/herself can respect himself/herself for having standards.
I keep thinking that I’ve got something profound to say, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. So I should probably stop.
Bad day.
I think that I’ve been getting through the pandemic stuff a lot better than many, including psychologically. I don't think it’s hit me too hard there; I think my dark moods have nothing to do with the quarantine. And of course I only hate myself because I deserve it.
Although there is an upside—to paraphrase Nietzsche, at least the person who hates himself/herself can respect himself/herself for having standards.
I keep thinking that I’ve got something profound to say, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. So I should probably stop.
Reel on a repeating loop
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And now, as so often happens, I’m thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking about, and people I shouldn’t be thinking about.
Reel on a repeating loop
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Dud you know that three dr inks is half a six pack? ?SERIOUSLY! Six drinks is hafl a ixc pack!
I've been reading goddamn guidance docuemtns fo ra week straight. Going all they way back to the school closerures in March of last year. Everythnig released by the state by the county, etc. I spetn two hours today finely tuning the case that i was going to bring forth tho the board of education this evening. My wife freaking ignores the faxt that I need to goet to the board meeting on time and that I can't bring the kids, so I let them play in my room and leave with them the cell phone. I go to the board meeting and stit though all the budget stiuff until I can get to the point where visitors speawk . I every calmly read my rationalization to reducating the social distincint to twhat THE REST OF THE FUCKKNG NATION is doing and talk labout hwo oru current distancing is hurting our students. I ansswer some questions and intelligently speak to the actual languge that is on the documents, becausse I have all the documentaiton with me. I'manserswing questions. ANd wahat gets done? NOTHING. I guess the district own't do what the county says because they want to follwo thwat the satate says. And the state hasn't done shit since theey came up with some arbritry number that had no science behind it to begin with. And desepite all of Cuomo's quotes about how he's gonna "follow the science, follow the data" eh hasn'st looked at any of the goddamn studies since all this pandemic shet wehnt down. No he's too worried about covering upt he afact tghat he let people die in nursing homes and that he might be a sexual predator, and now everyo ne wants to impareach him, and no one fucking cares about the kdids and what they need and they canc all suck a big taft heairy one.
I've been reading goddamn guidance docuemtns fo ra week straight. Going all they way back to the school closerures in March of last year. Everythnig released by the state by the county, etc. I spetn two hours today finely tuning the case that i was going to bring forth tho the board of education this evening. My wife freaking ignores the faxt that I need to goet to the board meeting on time and that I can't bring the kids, so I let them play in my room and leave with them the cell phone. I go to the board meeting and stit though all the budget stiuff until I can get to the point where visitors speawk . I every calmly read my rationalization to reducating the social distincint to twhat THE REST OF THE FUCKKNG NATION is doing and talk labout hwo oru current distancing is hurting our students. I ansswer some questions and intelligently speak to the actual languge that is on the documents, becausse I have all the documentaiton with me. I'manserswing questions. ANd wahat gets done? NOTHING. I guess the district own't do what the county says because they want to follwo thwat the satate says. And the state hasn't done shit since theey came up with some arbritry number that had no science behind it to begin with. And desepite all of Cuomo's quotes about how he's gonna "follow the science, follow the data" eh hasn'st looked at any of the goddamn studies since all this pandemic shet wehnt down. No he's too worried about covering upt he afact tghat he let people die in nursing homes and that he might be a sexual predator, and now everyo ne wants to impareach him, and no one fucking cares about the kdids and what they need and they canc all suck a big taft heairy one.
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I want ome muthafuckn Swiss Rolls. TM
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Success I am not yet able to tell fortunes thobem.
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Sometimes when I'm drinking I think "I'm going to go on the NPR site and spout wisdom!" It doesn't really work out that way on account of I've got nothing interesting to say. Same old self-hating shit. So I will at least make sure this post is pretty short.
Reel on a repeating loop
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I almost never drink these days, alas, so I have no occasion to post here. I believe that my qualifications for entry have been reduced which is probably a good thing for health and life and so forth. Speaking of health and life and so forth I'm going to need more regular proofs of life for most of you than I have been receiving here lately. I'm thinking weekly should suffice. Otherwise with people being depressed and having surgeries and the general code situation how am I supposed to know if you're still alive?
It's important that I keep tabs on everyone being alive clearly I was a cattle dog in a previous life this is not to say that any of you are like cattle I'm not trying to compare you to cattle at all I'm just saying cattle dogs like to keep a check on everybody and make sure that the group is okay and all the people are where they're supposed to be. Like school teachers on a field trip taking account every so often to make sure they've got all the bodies lined up. That doesn't quite sound right but I think you know what I mean.
The point is I'm not really getting a lot of that type of proof of life lately from everybody and I'm worried about the code situation why does it keep saying that it's covet covet covered with a V I can't get my necklace off I'm being slowly strangled so how's that for a proof of life? everything was fine until I started trying to do this while taking off my necklace and now ... I really can't get it off y'all It's just completely stuck and I I don't know what else I can do
I was trussed up in all my fat parts like a Christmas goose I'm trying to free myself from the trussings. It's ridiculous the indignities one must suffer at this age. I actually put on makeup so my face looks good. At least that's going properly. Everything else, strapped in for roasting it's ridiculous. I just want to wear a bed sheet around or maybe a kind of kaftan made out of blanket material. Nothing hot just a very light kind of soft maybe like a brushed flannel?
We've got to get away from this idea the clothing is supposed to fit the body. Clothing is here to cover the body and protect it from the elements. To do that there is no requirement that it squeeze and pinch and flatten anything. You shouldn't need to put metal wires into any part of the things you're wearing on your poor body. Why are there middle wires and they're poking you?!
Men you don't really have to have this problem do you? I mean I don't have to have it either but the consequences are real. You either accept the poking wires and the strappings and the lycra and what not are you just really making a choice that's not going to go so well.
It's terrible we just need to wear things like the ancient Greeks maybe kind of a draping on the inside and undergarment very light and then a warmer cloak draping on the outside.
Or since we have the benefit of all these polyesters now fine fine if that's how it's got to be if we need to have synthetics then let's just go ahead and have stretchy woolens kind of like a stretchy soft bodysuit sort of a stretchy long john.
And then in the summers we can wear more of a stretchy tank top bathing attire.
It's important that I keep tabs on everyone being alive clearly I was a cattle dog in a previous life this is not to say that any of you are like cattle I'm not trying to compare you to cattle at all I'm just saying cattle dogs like to keep a check on everybody and make sure that the group is okay and all the people are where they're supposed to be. Like school teachers on a field trip taking account every so often to make sure they've got all the bodies lined up. That doesn't quite sound right but I think you know what I mean.
The point is I'm not really getting a lot of that type of proof of life lately from everybody and I'm worried about the code situation why does it keep saying that it's covet covet covered with a V I can't get my necklace off I'm being slowly strangled so how's that for a proof of life? everything was fine until I started trying to do this while taking off my necklace and now ... I really can't get it off y'all It's just completely stuck and I I don't know what else I can do
I was trussed up in all my fat parts like a Christmas goose I'm trying to free myself from the trussings. It's ridiculous the indignities one must suffer at this age. I actually put on makeup so my face looks good. At least that's going properly. Everything else, strapped in for roasting it's ridiculous. I just want to wear a bed sheet around or maybe a kind of kaftan made out of blanket material. Nothing hot just a very light kind of soft maybe like a brushed flannel?
We've got to get away from this idea the clothing is supposed to fit the body. Clothing is here to cover the body and protect it from the elements. To do that there is no requirement that it squeeze and pinch and flatten anything. You shouldn't need to put metal wires into any part of the things you're wearing on your poor body. Why are there middle wires and they're poking you?!
Men you don't really have to have this problem do you? I mean I don't have to have it either but the consequences are real. You either accept the poking wires and the strappings and the lycra and what not are you just really making a choice that's not going to go so well.
It's terrible we just need to wear things like the ancient Greeks maybe kind of a draping on the inside and undergarment very light and then a warmer cloak draping on the outside.
Or since we have the benefit of all these polyesters now fine fine if that's how it's got to be if we need to have synthetics then let's just go ahead and have stretchy woolens kind of like a stretchy soft bodysuit sort of a stretchy long john.
And then in the summers we can wear more of a stretchy tank top bathing attire.
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A bit buzzed, and more convinced than ever that I’m not depressed—rather, I feel like this because I’ve fucked up my life.
Booze really heals!
Booze really heals!
Reel on a repeating loop
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Guys! I'm drunk. You're all awesome. Akiva, Mike, DMDarcs, Mrs.Darcs, all'y'all. Even Kyle!
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I just realized tonight I wore an entire outfit that originated at Chico's. What the f*** has going wrong here. Who am I even? All the cells were replaced and replaced and replaced until the good ones were lost and something went wrong! Also stupider? I don't even know.
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Is bourbon my friend? I’m not sure.
I feel like I’m incapable of healing—things don’t get better. Every decade is worse than the one before. And nothing changes, except that I get fatter and older.
So good news for all of you! My greatest hits keep on coming!
I feel like I’m incapable of healing—things don’t get better. Every decade is worse than the one before. And nothing changes, except that I get fatter and older.
So good news for all of you! My greatest hits keep on coming!
Reel on a repeating loop
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Hi friends, people in a distant land, I used my instant pot today.
I'm in a roast and then people said put some wine in your roast I said okay I put it in.
You don't put very much in though like half cup what am I supposed to do with the rest? This is why we're here. This is why we're here. I had some serious things to comment but I didn't want anybody to get confused about what I was saying under the circumstances so I decided it would be safest if we just let it rest in this location.
I have been watching the king eternal monarch.
Anyway the instant pot I've got a lot of complaints. I want to let you know here's the problems and instant pot.
You try to make a food and you've got some time to make this food in well maybe it's a food that takes 5 hours to make and you're able to make it in 2 hours in the instant pot.
Or maybe it's a food that makes 3 hours to make and you're able to make it in 1 hour in the instant pot.
Because trust that the 30 minutes it takes to pressure cook it is not the whole of the effort.
The effort is 5 or 10 minutes to get things sorted out and then another 15 minutes to wait for the damn thing to pressure up and that is to cook it and then to release the pressure.
And some recipes are complicated and you have to cook one thing and then depressurize then put something else in the pot and then cook something else and it takes forever in a day.
What's the purpose of all this?
How is this supposed to help?
When you see a name called instant pot you think instant. There's nothing instant about this pot and they sold it and I feel like it was false advertising and they should compensate all of us for fraud.
I'm in a roast and then people said put some wine in your roast I said okay I put it in.
You don't put very much in though like half cup what am I supposed to do with the rest? This is why we're here. This is why we're here. I had some serious things to comment but I didn't want anybody to get confused about what I was saying under the circumstances so I decided it would be safest if we just let it rest in this location.
I have been watching the king eternal monarch.
Anyway the instant pot I've got a lot of complaints. I want to let you know here's the problems and instant pot.
You try to make a food and you've got some time to make this food in well maybe it's a food that takes 5 hours to make and you're able to make it in 2 hours in the instant pot.
Or maybe it's a food that makes 3 hours to make and you're able to make it in 1 hour in the instant pot.
Because trust that the 30 minutes it takes to pressure cook it is not the whole of the effort.
The effort is 5 or 10 minutes to get things sorted out and then another 15 minutes to wait for the damn thing to pressure up and that is to cook it and then to release the pressure.
And some recipes are complicated and you have to cook one thing and then depressurize then put something else in the pot and then cook something else and it takes forever in a day.
What's the purpose of all this?
How is this supposed to help?
When you see a name called instant pot you think instant. There's nothing instant about this pot and they sold it and I feel like it was false advertising and they should compensate all of us for fraud.
Last edited by Phoebe on Fri Oct 20, 2023 6:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Oh I'm so happy I finally remembered the thing I had come here to post there's a brand of ice cream called kemps and I think it might be called something different on the east or west coast but it's the same anyway they have made a new type of ice cream these ice creams are made with candy cows inside I s*** you not there as a candy cow and the one that I have is called cow tracks but mine is the mint type so the mint type of cow tracks have a chocolate mint cow inside it. Basically it's mint chocolate chip but instead of a chocolate chip it's a cow with minty chocolate something.
Last edited by Phoebe on Fri Oct 20, 2023 6:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Well well well, I see it has been a month without many drinks. Maybe one or two at a formal dinner? Otherwise, sobriety. Thus it did not take much, my friends, took vet little. I am very mellow. A very chill mood. However I had a psychich experience communicating with Friedrich Nietzsche so there's that. aliva did this hape to you? AKIVA. Dang it, well, I didn't sign up for it. Reading tooooooo many books these days. I can't help it
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In vino veritas
Either that’s not true for bourbon, or the truth is just boring and trite.
Either that’s not true for bourbon, or the truth is just boring and trite.
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Watching hockey playoffs. Nothing better.
My ears feel warm. It’s weird.
Trying to get over a shittybday.
My ears feel warm. It’s weird.
Trying to get over a shittybday.
Reel on a repeating loop
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Months have gone by without any drink, we're very scanty and minimal drink. Then all of the sudden you have half a picture of margaritas had to split it I had to do my share
This s*** is for real like the margarita was delicious but mother of God what the hell I'm just done able to go around I had to do laundry.
I went into the laundry and you know better: you've got one of those fitted sheets and you say, v the only thing you can put in with one of those fitted sheets is another sheet like a flat sheet or whatever but it can't be like little things and you know this.
But sometimes you're in a hurry you can sloppy you get Hasty and you just put a thing in there with that fitted sheet.
Well that doesn't work because then you get this bizarre twist and inside after you untwist untwist untwist untwist untwist on twist on twist on twist all of a sudden there's a wet t-shirt geez what the heck.
So now I'm just waiting for the drawing to happen again and I've got other things that's got to go in the dryer and this has to happen I can't just be like laying here and going to sleep in the middle of the evening when I got stuff to do but I'm telling you that it is difficult.
Anyway I went and had dinner there was just a tremendous dinner it was incredible we almost never got to dinner these days what with the covid spiking and all this s*** that goes on but you know we decided we went to a place that was very ventilated it had a patio and finally there's a cool breeze you know I was thinking okay and then I was going to get one margarita. It was happy hour and I was going to get one margarita. People said hey it's happy hour so the picture is super cheap it's a great deal you know even if we only drink Three Margaritas it will have paid for itself well we paid for you know I mean we drank well over the amount that had been paid for in the end.
This s*** is for real like the margarita was delicious but mother of God what the hell I'm just done able to go around I had to do laundry.
I went into the laundry and you know better: you've got one of those fitted sheets and you say, v the only thing you can put in with one of those fitted sheets is another sheet like a flat sheet or whatever but it can't be like little things and you know this.
But sometimes you're in a hurry you can sloppy you get Hasty and you just put a thing in there with that fitted sheet.
Well that doesn't work because then you get this bizarre twist and inside after you untwist untwist untwist untwist untwist on twist on twist on twist all of a sudden there's a wet t-shirt geez what the heck.
So now I'm just waiting for the drawing to happen again and I've got other things that's got to go in the dryer and this has to happen I can't just be like laying here and going to sleep in the middle of the evening when I got stuff to do but I'm telling you that it is difficult.
Anyway I went and had dinner there was just a tremendous dinner it was incredible we almost never got to dinner these days what with the covid spiking and all this s*** that goes on but you know we decided we went to a place that was very ventilated it had a patio and finally there's a cool breeze you know I was thinking okay and then I was going to get one margarita. It was happy hour and I was going to get one margarita. People said hey it's happy hour so the picture is super cheap it's a great deal you know even if we only drink Three Margaritas it will have paid for itself well we paid for you know I mean we drank well over the amount that had been paid for in the end.
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Students return on Monday. I’m filled with dread. It’s going to be another horrible year. I’m incapable of improving.
I hope to god my kids don’t ever feel this way about themselves or their lives.
The best I can hope for in life (for myself) is that things don’t get worse.
I hope to god my kids don’t ever feel this way about themselves or their lives.
The best I can hope for in life (for myself) is that things don’t get worse.
Reel on a repeating loop
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I disgust myself for any number of reasons (I’m a fuck up professionally, failure at dealing with—and not getting over—a person I wish I’d never met), but tonight I’m disgusted by how petty and adolescent my problems are. A lot of people have real problems; not me. So I rage and seethe with self-hatred over inconsequential things.
To paraphrase Nietzsche, the person who hates himself can at least respect himself for having standards.
Fuck it hurts. And doesn’t get better.
To paraphrase Nietzsche, the person who hates himself can at least respect himself for having standards.
Fuck it hurts. And doesn’t get better.
Reel on a repeating loop
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So in the movie Animal House, the guys pull into Dexter Lake Road clubhouse because they saw that Otis Day and the Knights were performing. Boone goes to the bar and orders "a double rock and rye and seven Carlings." I've seen the movie a couple dozen times, and I've never known what those drinks were. But just tonight, I'm sitting at the bar directly across from a bottle of Hochstadter's Low and Slow Rock & Rye. So I look them up. Carling is just a brand of beer. Makes sense. And rock & rye is a kind of liqueur made with rye whiskey and rock candy. Oh... so sweet whiskey. I'm down for that. And Hochstadter's has been making their Low and Slow brand since 1884. Cool. So I ordered a shot. It was really awesome. Before that, I had a double shot of Crown on the rocks, which was also fantastic. And the whole reason we were there was to see a friend of ours sing at the bar with her husband. We had a blast.
Then we texted our adult children, because we like to mess with them when we drink. Part of this exchange included a pic of my wife sitting next to me. And then I messaged Aidan to say, "Aidan, it will be your job to find us and make sure we get home safely. HINT: we are somewhere in town." He and his friends immediately recognized the bar from the pic, and within 5 minutes, he and a buddy were sitting down with us. We sat there enjoying the music for a while longer, and then they safely got us and our vehicle home. What a wonderful evening!
Then we texted our adult children, because we like to mess with them when we drink. Part of this exchange included a pic of my wife sitting next to me. And then I messaged Aidan to say, "Aidan, it will be your job to find us and make sure we get home safely. HINT: we are somewhere in town." He and his friends immediately recognized the bar from the pic, and within 5 minutes, he and a buddy were sitting down with us. We sat there enjoying the music for a while longer, and then they safely got us and our vehicle home. What a wonderful evening!
Any time the solution is "banjo rifle", I'm in 100%.
Re: Drunk posting
I'm not drunk. YOU'RE drunk!
HA!
HA!
Any time the solution is "banjo rifle", I'm in 100%.
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I have had one point two five margaritas. My liver apparently doesn't work anymore. The whole thing is tragic and a cause for sorrow rather than humor, but I will tell you, It's like getting to ride the rides at the carnival for free.
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Been drinking some high-alcohol beer.
There’s an old typology of thinkers—hedgehogs and foxes. Foxes know many things, while the hedgehog knows one thing extremely well. I am a hedgehog, at least with regard to my postings here—I’m really fucking repetitive. Sorry about that. It will surprise no one that I had an unintended interaction with a person I wish I’d never met, and it’s fucked me up.
Reel on a repeating loop.
There’s an old typology of thinkers—hedgehogs and foxes. Foxes know many things, while the hedgehog knows one thing extremely well. I am a hedgehog, at least with regard to my postings here—I’m really fucking repetitive. Sorry about that. It will surprise no one that I had an unintended interaction with a person I wish I’d never met, and it’s fucked me up.
Reel on a repeating loop.
Reel on a repeating loop
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Being a professional musician is a great job, I'm lucky to get to do it full time. It's also the worst job. You're always second guessing your own abilities and self-worth. It is intrinsically tied to who you are, and it's incredibly difficult to separate the two. I've gotten better with time, but it still happens and I hate it when it does.
Re: Drunk posting
Bourbon.
I think I’m incapable of making any real changes in my life, so I’m fucked.
I think I’m incapable of making any real changes in my life, so I’m fucked.
Reel on a repeating loop
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Saw Brian Posehn tonight. The man rocked. He's a favorite of mine, and I've been looking forward to this show for months. Afterward, my 30 year old coworker said, "Dude, if you went into comedy, you would BE Brian Posehn." I took it as intended, as a huge compliment. Fuck right!
Whiskey and Coke all night. I varied it up and had Jack Fire & Coke... Vanilla Crown & Coke... nnnnnope. They were all good in their own way, but Jack & Coke is still the clear winner. What I was hoping for was a good coffee flavored liquor cuz I recently heard that when mixed with Coke, they are reminiscent of Coke Blak, which I loved.
Oh shit... I have coffee flavored Kraken rum up in my cupboard. Damn, if only I had some Coca Cola.
Whiskey and Coke all night. I varied it up and had Jack Fire & Coke... Vanilla Crown & Coke... nnnnnope. They were all good in their own way, but Jack & Coke is still the clear winner. What I was hoping for was a good coffee flavored liquor cuz I recently heard that when mixed with Coke, they are reminiscent of Coke Blak, which I loved.
Oh shit... I have coffee flavored Kraken rum up in my cupboard. Damn, if only I had some Coca Cola.
Any time the solution is "banjo rifle", I'm in 100%.
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I haven’t been here in forever! Cabo is fucking great! Honestly, this trip for my anniversary is the best ever. We went to a beach on the very tip of the Baja Peninsula that’s only accessible by sketchy boat and it was so freaking amazing! Y’all. Y’all! My wife is the best!
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When I say I “haven’t been here in forever” I meant this thread. I’ve never been to Cabo before. Okay. Glad I cleared that up. Carry on.
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Holy shit! I've had too much. But now I'm the funniest I've ever been and no one around me seems to appreciate it. Except maybe Noah. He's our DD. He's awesome.
Any time the solution is "banjo rifle", I'm in 100%.