Mental health

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Fri Apr 15, 2022 8:02 am

Depressed about health situation. They ruled out various things it could have been, which reduces the chance of a more serious problem, and yet the symptoms are getting worse. Going to the doctor also reminds you of your fitness level and that it is poorer now. As much as you've done to remake and improve your life, you still need to be remaking and improving it and this time with problems dragging along.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Sat Apr 16, 2022 7:27 am

As an experiment starting about 6:30 this morning I decided to pet my dog while I was laying on the couch and he was sitting on the floor next to me. I decided I would just keep doing this until he got sick of it. He did not get sick of it until about 5 minutes ago. The other dog was jealous so he laid on my foot and then when the petting ended he went and sat in a different chair - neither of which is okay because he's not allowed on the furniture but I couldn't do anything about it while I was petting the other dog. So it turns out my dog wants to be petted for like almost an hour continuously. My arm was tired for real; eventually I had to kind of pat him on the tummy repeatedly to minimize the arm movements.

Ah yes, there was a mental health lesson to be drawn from this for both humans and dogs but I forgot what it was.

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Thu Apr 21, 2022 7:51 am

It's disappointing when a person who has things you desperately want is a good guy--you can't even hate him.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Sat Apr 23, 2022 2:39 pm

You should at least scorn him a little?

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Sat Apr 23, 2022 3:02 pm

Phoebe wrote: ↑Sat Apr 23, 2022 2:39 pm You should at least scorn him a little?

Not sure if I’m capable of that.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Tue Apr 26, 2022 10:50 am

Have made a new friend. The friend seems ok. Barring unforeseen hindrances beyond my control, have decided this is my last effort on the bff-type friend making front. If it works out, great, and if not, I will simply be alone. Both work and family life are intolerable at the moment, yet onward we go, one day at a time. Living both as mule of the world and a mule everyone considers cranky and crazy, like I understand is true of real life mules, so don't expect better. It is what it is. If I could eradicate these last traces of caring what people think, I'd be gold. Instead, mistake is to let people have the ability to hurt your feelings. I will crush them myself, thanks.

Update: friend seems good. Maybe this can work. I am trying very hard to do things like remember her name and whether she has, like, parents and whether they're living and things like that. Pretty sure that could be one reason I pissed off various other friends in times past, you know, just not recalling things like this. Friends are so weird that way, like even if you for sure know their face, you're supposed to know their name, how to pronounce it after they've said it several times, whether their relatives are alive and well or not, or what might be wrong if they're not, how many kids they have, stuff like this. In short, you have to pay attention to a lot of things about the friend but these things don't always stick in the mind. You may think this friend is basically the only friend you have and, in this way, by default your best one, but if you don't recall stuff like the above and a LOT of other things besides, your friend is not likely to be convinced. You are also supposed to tell them things of some sort of personal import, but how? Luckily, my new friend seems pretty content to examine the flora and fauna of the world and that's the kind I want. You may think I am joking but despite saying this in a sardonic way I'm very serious. Like, please let this work, lord God I don't want to be in the nursing home someday hating those bitches and never having had a lasting friend in life who lived in the same town as me for an indefinite period. It's now, people.

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Sat Apr 30, 2022 10:55 am

Meditation helps. I need to find time to do it regularly.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Sun May 01, 2022 9:46 am

Akiva wrote: ↑Sat Apr 30, 2022 10:55 am Meditation helps. I need to find time to do it regularly.

Hey, this is important news, is it not? That is a really good thing to discover.

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Sun May 22, 2022 9:47 am

So fucking tired of feeling this way.

poorpete · Post by **poorpete** » Wed May 25, 2022 4:28 pm

A few weeks ago I wrote on my twitter music project that music has been what is always has been for me: a distraction or a balm. It helps heal me or gives me the time I need to rest from pain. Art is fantastic that way. Good job art. It has its part to play, just like talking it out, journaling, or just plain 'ole silence.

I was thinking about the rule of threes. Or people in 2016 saying "F*** 2016" -- sorrow doesn't care about time periods or rhythms. What I will say though, is that the rule of threes is a perfectly acceptable way of dealing with stuff like this. Maybe three what feels like "just enough" sorrow. Maybe putting the most recent thing as the final third tragedy is a way to give ourselves a little bit of hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. "F*** 2016" was kinda a way of saying, please get to 2017 already.

Anyway, I admit, I think of June 2021 and feel a glimmer of hope. Maybe then things will be... less.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Thu May 26, 2022 8:57 am

I can see the tension on the faces of the teachers yesterday and today. I find it stressful to take my kid to school even though I know this is irrational - it doesn't matter. I can only imagine how stressful it is for teachers who actually have to think about and train in these subjects all the time. We have been having so many discussions in the home first about the white supremacist crazies and the replacement theory and now about the things these school shooters have in common, and what's the most likely outcome if your friend or boyfriend or husband has a gun. It's like... Your daughter who has never even dated anyone and is too young to date anyone already knows that the person most likely to be killed if her boyfriend has guns is her. The fact that they know this and that they have to know this. I just want to go live in a cave and not deal with people.

poorpete · Post by **poorpete** » Thu Jun 09, 2022 6:51 am

Back in office today, quick talk with a coworker who offered condolences from my nephew's tragedy in April, and seems it doesn't matter where I am, home or work, I am going to just cry. It's just how it is.

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Thu Jun 09, 2022 6:57 am

I'm so sorry.

poorpete · Post by **poorpete** » Thu Jun 09, 2022 7:11 am

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Tue Jun 14, 2022 2:06 pm

I see my new shrink tomorrow. I was going to post something about how I expected to be completely fixed by tomorrow evening. But it doesn't seem funny to me now 'cause I feel fucking horrible--just feel overrun with self-hatred and dread.

Tahlvin · Post by **Tahlvin** » Tue Jun 14, 2022 4:16 pm

Good luck. Keep an open heart and mind. And realize that progress will not happen overnight. The important thing is to find someone who is a good fit for you. That can take some time to find out. We're pulling for you.

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Wed Jun 15, 2022 7:37 am

Tahlvin wrote: ↑Tue Jun 14, 2022 4:16 pm Good luck. Keep an open heart and mind. And realize that progress will not happen overnight. The important thing is to find someone who is a good fit for you. That can take some time to find out. We're pulling for you.

I don't know how I'll know if it's a good fit; I thought the last guy was for a long time, now I'm not so sure. And I hope it won't take too long to figure it out--I'm so tired of being like this.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Wed Jun 15, 2022 8:08 am

I hope it goes well! Limited experience with success in this arena but I feel like there are a couple of stages - one is that first visit, where you'll know if you feel comfortable talking to the person and whether what they say makes sense generally. The first meeting tells you a lot.

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Thu Jun 16, 2022 7:01 am

Underwhelmed by the new psychiatrist. I'm probably being unfair. Maybe 'cause it was virtual, or maybe because it was the first session, but I felt like it didn't accomplish much.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Thu Jun 16, 2022 10:00 am

Well, as long as you felt like you can talk to the person and they were reasonably intelligent, those are the main things to establish on day one. From here hopefully things will become more productive as they get to know you and understand your needs, but if not, try a new one.

I so believe what people say about fit in this area. I knew I needed some type of help dealing with PTSD when I was younger but had a terrible time finding a person I could relate to in this role. It was actually a small group (almost unimaginable this worked for me but it did) that first helped me because I could relate to the things that other participants were dealing with. I didn't find the right person I clicked with as an adult until I was in my late 30s. Unfortunately he only does full cognitive science stuff and by his own admission is no help for other kinds of life dilemmas. But cognitive behavioral therapy works for good reason. I have to have someone who can explain to me what they're trying to do and why they're doing it based on evidence. Zero interest in talking about feelings, lol!

poorpete · Post by **poorpete** » Thu Jun 16, 2022 10:15 am

I will say for my experience, it was I think about two years with my current therapist where I was saying something I don't remember what, and my therapist became overjoyed. She said I was talking about and working through things I couldn't even speak out-loud two years prior. And every few months she makes a point of telling me how much progress I've made. It was like

Year 0-2 steady incremental progress I didn't notice
Year 3-now steady incremental progress but I notice it

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Thu Jun 16, 2022 10:35 am

I'm not sure if the new guy will do therapy or just medication.

poorpete · Post by **poorpete** » Thu Jun 23, 2022 8:45 am

My son walked on the a dirt road of a farm near the top of a hill, and my brain was just full of "what ifs" even though there was no sound of any machine nearby that could have hurt him, it's just the thought and fear and what-ifs that I relive, relive that pang that made me say "come here, stay closer to us, hold my hand" -- if he didn't come here, stay closer, hold my hand he would have been totally fine, but my mind replays this feeling. This has joined the repertoire that includes the time he got water in his mouth when swimming but was fine, the time he didn't look both ways (well he did look both ways as in two ways, but in an intersection, it's four ways he should be looking) but was fine, the time he walked down the stairs without holding onto the railing or bending over to pick something from a step below him or talking at the top of the stairs or...

I guess it's just how it is, right? And to relive the pang of fear is I assume nothing like those I know who relive absolute trauma.

poorpete · Post by **poorpete** » Fri Jun 24, 2022 11:42 am

As always when I'm anxious, today about the news:

make this a helpful anxiety. Anxiety that doesn't push you/me forward to make a needed change is useless anxiety.

If it's useless, throw it away. If it's helpful, let it help you.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Fri Jun 24, 2022 2:30 pm

talking at the top of the stairs

This one still defeats me because even though my reaction is an overreaction, I don't realllly want to let it go so I can't do any of the things that would permit it. My family knows you don't lean on the high banister when I can see you - unfortunately this is the price of living with me and I can't change it.

I got a pretty early this morning and one of the things I did was make sure we had this big stock of plan b available, and then I spent about an hour searching for an evaluating the different places you can get Ella online - this is basically a better drug that accomplishes the same thing plan b does but it can be used for 5 days instead of three. And then we looked into the actual components of different brands of birth control pills to see which ones can be used to bootleg your own version of plan b if you should need to, since that's what friends had to do back in my day when we didn't have plan b. And then we had the depressing conversation about whether it's worth it, really. These kids are going to be living in their grandmother's world now, and it wasn't worth it for her and it won't be worth it for them, in my opinion. And it made me depressed that now we're back in general to the transactional and traumatic form of sexuality that patriarchy requires, and this is the way my kids are going to have to experience it instead of developing a normal and healthy attitude about sexuality. And for some reason all of that plus everything else called up by today's event has been so depressing that I went to sleep and slept for three straight hours in the middle of the day. Understatement that this never happens. All this to say, in short, the psychic ripple effects of this type of thing are real. It's disturbing.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Fri Jun 24, 2022 3:35 pm

Just trying to read the news: red State governors now crowing over/debating rape and incest exceptions. Like do they know how that plays out irl after their theatre? Have they seen it in the hospital room? Rape with impunity is already the norm in this culture; now we can have rape with extra punishment for the victims. Impossible to read the stuff without flashing back to so many scenes of rape crisis counselor life, but my mental health is fine. The good news is I started posting this here because the general implication was that external craziness going on is causing difficulties for mental health. But the great thing is, no, my mental health is fine. It's the rest of em.

poorpete · Post by **poorpete** » Fri Jun 24, 2022 4:06 pm

Phoebe wrote: ↑Fri Jun 24, 2022 3:35 pm the great thing is, no, my mental health is fine. It's the rest of em.

Solid. And good job doing something, even though you shouldn't have to.

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Fri Jun 24, 2022 6:34 pm

I was listening to a podcaster advising me to stay away from negative people—so I should stay away from myself.

Apparently you should stay away from me too.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Sat Jun 25, 2022 8:52 am

Is it negative to tell people to stay away from people? I don't know. I would like to note, however, that every woman I know well enough to know this, like mainly my relatives - including those who disfavor most abortions for religious reasons - is experiencing a deep disturbance in the wake of yesterday's news. So, please consider treading a bit lightly around those the ground may have just crumbled from beneath, since some of us may not even know why we feel this loss, or might have expected ourselves to feel otherwise. One thing is clear: even many of those who consider themselves pro-life may still recognize that what the Court is doing here inserts government into places it has no business traveling, and that the reasoning is not particularly motivated by saving babies. We all know what you have to do to save babies and this ain't it. But you may find that women you know are distressed, perhaps in a hard to articulate way. The vividness of all the bad shit we've endured or witnessed in this category of life experience is coming up again - I find myself unwillingly replaying scenes I can only imagine from my mom's life, on those occasions she almost died and had to be hospitalized while pregnant, or from visiting the hospital with other women who had been raped and violently harmed and were terrified of being pregnant, or from my own life like, "when being pregnant was going very wrong and husband had to discuss priority of saving wife over baby with doctor". People are finding themselves needing to take two hour naps, or randomly crying. Personally I thought my own reaction was a cool and rational anger about what this was going to do to my kids and others like them but then I spontaneously got my period again after a long time without one and despite taking significant drugs to prevent it at the moment. So there are deep currents going on here that people might not be aware of and this really is a traumatic event.

Mando · Post by **Mando** » Mon Jun 27, 2022 8:23 pm

I am in a bit of cognitive decline of late as evidenced by a lot of small things and one big thing. I got out of my car at work and left it running for my whole 11 hour shift. Yep it was out of gas when I needed to leave at 1 AM on a Thursday night.

I dread the scans my doctor is going to put me through, but I know its coming...also been having headaches that feel like you got an icepick to the head. I am sure its all just fine...

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Thu Jul 07, 2022 10:57 pm

Hope you're doing better, Mando, we need an update!

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Mon Jul 18, 2022 6:59 pm

Didn't get much sleep last night 'cause of the seething self-hatred.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Tue Jul 26, 2022 5:13 pm

In much the same way that having certain kinds of OCD is incompatible with having a house that is porous to bats, it is equally incompatible with having a house that occasionally offers a dead bat.

I woke up this morning at 7:15 or so and the day got off to a good start, and then I said to myself, I will go do a little workout either here or at the gym or with the dog and then I will take a shower and get on with the rest of my work day. From that juncture on things have been happening to interfere with progress on approximately an every 15 minute basis. One crisis after another. So now it's suppertime and nothing has been cooked yet and I have not even set foot in the shower or even brushed my hair. I just realized that I'm wearing the same goofy messed up ponytail that I wore out of the house at 7:30.

Mando · Post by **Mando** » Tue Jul 26, 2022 5:29 pm

Phoebe wrote: ↑Thu Jul 07, 2022 10:57 pm Hope you're doing better, Mando, we need an update!

I am doing okay. Thanks for asking. The symptoms (brain fog, forgetfulness, and now mood swings) continue, but the pain is gone which was the worst part.

I cannot remember if I posted this or not, but I wrecked on the way home and my car is a total loss. flooding on the instate at 11PM, water was invisible until I was in it. Had a fun ride to the ER where I wished I had just gone home because it was pretty sketchy and there was blood on the floor and a glass door had been broken through...It was surreal. I am OK though, just a new normal for me now.

Mando · Post by **Mando** » Tue Jul 26, 2022 5:30 pm

Akiva wrote: ↑Mon Jul 18, 2022 6:59 pm Didn't get much sleep last night 'cause of the seething self-hatred.

I doubt it is any help, but I would think it the best of days to share a pint or a soda with you.

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Tue Jul 26, 2022 5:48 pm

Mando wrote: ↑Tue Jul 26, 2022 5:30 pm
Akiva wrote: ↑Mon Jul 18, 2022 6:59 pm Didn't get much sleep last night 'cause of the seething self-hatred.
I doubt it is any help, but I would think it the best of days to share a pint or a soda with you.

Thanks.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Thu Jul 28, 2022 3:32 pm

One of the primary goals of the last few years of my life has been to prevent certain people from getting covid. Well, that was nice while it lasted. Now an entire chunk of my mind has flown off and it took most of my remaining f's with it.

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Sun Jul 31, 2022 3:39 pm

Shitty weekend.

Tahlvin · Post by **Tahlvin** » Sun Jul 31, 2022 4:15 pm

Akiva · Post by **Akiva** » Fri Aug 12, 2022 9:31 pm

Fuck I hate bring me.

And I have no reason to think it’ll get better

Mando · Post by **Mando** » Mon Aug 15, 2022 11:38 pm

Akiva wrote: ↑Fri Aug 12, 2022 9:31 pm Fuck I hate bring me.

And I have no reason to think it’ll get better

If you're not you then who will be?

Hang in there....

Mando · Post by **Mando** » Mon Aug 15, 2022 11:47 pm

well, it's not getting better in my neck o' the woods. I am leaving stuff running again...this time it was the water hose...a 5/8in hose puts out up to 11 gpm...for about 14 hours....uggh. 9,240 gallons

I can't remember song names (very well) now...and if something pops in my mind I lose the thoughts about what I was doing. I recognize faces, but names are coming to me slower. I think this is just normal. The water thing is a problem. I also boiled water dry...with eggs in the pot

I had forgotten about that one...oh that's hilarious...I am making forgetful jokes on myself...how lovely.

Anyways...

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Tue Aug 16, 2022 12:51 am

Is it a long covid thing, maybe? Apparently up to a third of people have significant and *weird* long covid issues, including forgetting things and being cognitively foggy and slow. ? Many possible causes though. So many weird things changing in mind and body with the aging process. I guess we have to enjoy the ride. But do not burn your eggs or house! At least the water might have helped something? I don't know, this aging thing is annoying.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Fri Sep 09, 2022 12:22 pm

One of my kids had covid and I have to wonder about the potential mental effects. Walking down that mysterious line that separates "medical problems over which a kid has no control and needs assistance" and "completely deliberately chosen nonsense for which the kid has total control and needs consequences that Communicate Sense". I don't know how one walks this path, where it leads, etc. The forests on both sides impenetrably dense and confusing. Nobody could figure this out. But of course, on the one you have "I might not properly protect and support my kid" and on the other side you have "my kid will continue screwing up unless they receive a (metaphorical) kick in the ass which is sometimes what support looks like". Sigh.

Meanwhile I'm like, a haggard, sleepless mess wearing a nightgown that masquerades as a "going outdoors dress" when shoes are added, eating breakfast cereal for lunch, having accomplished about 2.5 units of Work in a time span that should have accommodated 17 units, neglecting everyone around me who needs something done, a basket of useless dysfunction, like ... how on earth would my kid think to function in a less than optimal manner with a masterful sophisticate like me training them? ha ha haaa

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Fri Sep 09, 2022 12:44 pm

Sometimes when you are stressed in a way that touches the weird animal parts of the maternal instincts, whatever those may be, the result is something called "pica" where you have an urge to eat non-food items, maybe from some earlier evolutionary purpose of gaining minerals you might need (like some people want to chew on gravelly rocks or dirt). It's a thing sometimes linked with the OCD brain, thanks, like the picking-at-yourself habits, and so I can gauge my level of STRESSED THE F OUT by the fact that I have had to resort to chewing on uncooked strands of spaghetti in order to remain concentrating on work and not restlessly pacing. I knew something was wrong when the little rawhide twist I gave to the dog looked unbelievably interesting. Like, you could chew on that all day and really work out some anxieties, baby! I am not a dog, however. What to do? Spaghetti.

poorpete · Post by **poorpete** » Fri Sep 09, 2022 1:29 pm

Is that why there's gum?

I have a long list of notes/affirmations about my anxiety, and I'm trying to narrow it down, but seems to just be getting bigger and bigger, like oh yeah forgot to say this about my anxiety. Trying to get it down to a sentence, but instead keep adding to it. Here's another try:

Anxiety arrives first because its goal is to protect. Good anxiety spurs one to improve. If it doesn't, it's not needed, it can be let go. It's a fire alarm not the fire. And over 99% guess what, no fire.

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Fri Sep 09, 2022 10:43 pm

poorpete wrote: ↑Fri Sep 09, 2022 1:29 pm Is that why there's gum?

YESSSSS

And this is why I always have a secret pack of trident stashed somewhere the dogs can't get to and that nobody else knows about.

Anxiety is tooooooootally as you say: usually some initial adaptive or helpful purpose. You wouldn't be worried about the thing if you weren't a conscience person, for example. But then it snowballs out of control.

poorpete · Post by **poorpete** » Thu Sep 22, 2022 11:16 am

Came up with a skit. Maybe a cartoon, I dunno.

Weekly Reassurance by poorpete

Therapist: I assure you, The largest state in the United States is Alaska.
Me: but what about California? Could it ever be California?
Therapist: no, California is not the largest state, Alaska is.
Me: oh good, but uh, isn't Texas pretty big?
Therapist: yes, Texas is pretty big, but no it's not the largest state. The largest state is Alaska.
Me: oh okay. Well a friend of mine once told me about Montana --
Therapist: No, Mon-
Me: that Montana was a big state and I was worried maybe it's the biggest--
Therapist: No. Montana is not the biggest state. Alaska is the biggest state. I assure you--
Me: Canada! What about Canada, like the Northwest Territories?
Therapist: Canada does not have states. Canada is not part of the United States. The largest state in the United States is Alaska.
Me: ok, right, i was just wondering. Wanted to be absolutely sure. Thank you. Just a, well, um.

<pause>

Me: Virginia. Wasn't Virginia once the largest state? You know like in the colonies?
Therapist: maybe, but it's not the largest state now. Alaska is the largest state.
Me: ... by area.
Therapist: yes
Me: But what about by population?
Therapist: Then it's California, but is that the question you keep asking yourself?
Me: No, I'm worried about area.
Therapist: Right
Me: And the largest state is Alaska?
Therapist: Yes.
Me: even though California?
Therapist: Yes.
Me: Ok.

<pause>

Me: what if Arizona?

Phoebe · Post by **Phoebe** » Fri Sep 30, 2022 8:17 am

I hope everybody is doing okay these days or at least a little better.
I had a new experience which turned out to be educational, even though you don't want to have experiences of the negative. You hear about burnout and how different people are experiencing it a lot lately? Strangely I had never experienced it before even though we've obviously gone through periods of exhaustion and overwork and things like that.
One thing I discovered about burnout is it seems to happen when you have constant pressure to do work you can't possibly get done, and then the quality starts to suffer in a way you aren't accustomed to. You can see why people like nurses have this all the time because they're probably constantly overworked and feeling like they can't do the job the way they want to, and yet the stakes are so high of getting it right. If you force people to operate like that long enough and feel terrible about how they can't work to the best of their ability, you have a recipe for burnout. The phenomenon is being studied more, so there's helpful information about how to identify it and what to do about it.

Unfortunately, these days most people can't intervene by taking a break or getting themselves into a position where they can do a manageable amount of work and perform well at it. The fact that every place is understaffed and overstressed means we can't intervene to fix things.
It seems enormous numbers of people have been affected by the pandemic this way, as gradually the conditions of their lives changed. After a long and tricky process we're now to the place where we have to accept endemic illness risk as normal, in part because we know our society is by choice useless at cooperating and dealing with a problem like this (or alternatively I guess some people feel like they've been lied to and manipulated).
Then you face constant low levels of suck when it comes to ramped up responsibilities and everyone spread too thin. You realize how delicate the balance is that keeps everything spinning, including the things that require volunteers and people who are enthusiastic about contributing. If you lose even 20% of those people, suddenly nothing is working right anymore and it all becomes a chore.

I feel like I'm in a good position to fight against the burnout thing but it is super real.
I thought I might be invulnerable to it; I didn't worry about it. When I get more sleep I feel more capable of tackling things, but we are also stuck in what appears to be an endless cycle of needing to do about twice as much work as people are realistically capable of doing, and then feeling a constant state of stress and guilt about the rest.

Solution is to focus on one thing at a time that's right in front of you - it helps - but obviously it's also a terrible way to operate when you need to do a lot of long-range organizing.
At least you're making little steps forward.

My sense is that young people are suffering from exactly the same thing, but almost ALL of them at once. My guess is this is one of the biggest ways living through the pandemic will mark their whole generation. Not only were they put through their own stress and attendant burnout experiences, but they have to deal with their families who are going through the same thing. The younger people might recover from it more quickly insofar as they are growing and flexible. But they feel overwhelmed by a thousand things in all directions and the sense they are never able to do things properly.
There's a feeling of functioning successfully on all cylinders that reinforces itself and allows you to keep going in the same successful way. If you lose this feeling you get used to having things suck a certain amount.

The positive side is I find myself more vividly appreciating aspects of my job and life that are almost always pleasant and not overwhelming. The little things that make the day bearable and fun stand out more vividly.
There's also a powerful impulse to demand more meaning in the work and more satisfying ways of spending your time in life. I resent having to give up too much of it to nonsense.

At the same time, I'm sitting here confronting levels of housework that will never get done, office work I'm going to advance as far as I can but that won't be even half enough, while essential tasks like getting a new pair of glasses or fixing the window blind or getting the dog to the vet have become seemingly impossible. I think if people had to worry about paying for these things on top of everything else, they would be losing their minds right about now. Because all I have to worry about is not being able to do it, physically - I don't have time in the day for anything but a fraction. But I don't have the attendant stress of not knowing if it will be affordable when the opportunity does arise. Despite the profound lack of sympathy and understanding I have for the maga crowd, I get the sense they are suffering from this and finding their answer in this political story where someone else is to blame for screwing it all up, and things would be solved if we did a better job of suppressing the people who piss us off. It's not a real winning political message to say there aren't great solutions, or that we don't have the answer to ongoing problems and simply have to muddle through and do our best.
Nobody feels like they can do their best anyway.

Eliahad · Post by **Eliahad** » Sat Oct 29, 2022 10:09 am

Change takes time. Don't solve everything all at once. Allow for small steps. Celebrate little victories, then get back to work. Look back, occasionally, to see your progress, then look forward to see where you want to go.

There are four parts to shifting on the cello.

Know where you are.
Know where you are going.
Make a plan to get there.
Practice your plan.

If the plan isn't working after a fair try, make a new plan.