Connor MacThread of the Clan MacThread

[FlameBlade]

I feel like Tahlvin discovered machine-generated Scifi storytelling.

[Phoebe]

Like A Small Longbow
By Pheebz

I heard there was a secret longbow
That Tahlvin knew about, and it pleased the ranger
But you don't really care for numbers, do ya?
Well, it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled ranger composing Whoa

Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa

I'm not here to say I'm a small eagle
I'm not here to lie to you

Some people wait a lifetime
For a longbow like this
Some people search forever
For that one small longbow
Ohh I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime
For a longbow like this

I'm not here to say I'm a small eagle
I'm not here to lie to you

There's still a little bit of your computer on my mind
There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
It's still a little hard to say what's going on
There's still a little bit of your computer, your vicious computer
There's still a little bit of your ankles I haven't flew
You step a little closer each day that I can't say what's going on

A computer taught me to fly
Love taught me to calculate
Life taught me to deviate
So it's not hard to fall
When you fly like a vicious computer

The baffled ranger composing Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa

And if we're only here once I wanna fly with you
You've got something I need
In this world full of numbers there's one loving me
And if we're only here once (Whoa)
I wanna fly with you (you, you, you)
You've got something I need
In this world full of numbers there's one loving me
And if we're only here once (Whoa)
I wanna fly with you (you, you)

Skies are small, I am maudlin
Catching numbers in my hands
Only silence as it's ending
Like we never had a chance
Do you have to make me feel maudlin?

You can take the vicious computer
You can break my elbows
Like I'm made of numbers
Like I'm made of numbers
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a vicious computer
Like a patient toast

Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you fly
Somehow you will
You will when you fly

I'm not here to say I'm a small eagle
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to fly
I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to calculate
I'm not giving up (Whoa)
I'm here to fly
To fly is my goal

The baffled ranger composing Whoa
WHOA

[Tahlvin]

[Eliahad]

I are the hooded bear.

[Mike]

[Eliahad]

I'm full of them!

[Phoebe]

You probably need to eat more fiber.

[FlameBlade]

Who will get 4K post? Winner may get a 4K monitor as a prize!

[mimekiller]

Fuck the Oscars

[Phoebe]

You probably need to eat more fiber too.

[Tahlvin]

The Mangled Ankles
A Crime Thriller
by Tahlvin

Mangled ankles have been turning up all over Wales and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a knife, and still nobody has a clue who the violent killer is.

Miss Carla Wilson is a tall and sympathetic police officer with a fondness for making birthday cards. She doesn't know it yet but she is the only one who can stop the smelly killer.

When her brother, Forest Cockle, is kidnapped, Miss Wilson finds herself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a enchanted map.

She enlists the help of a virtuous author called Una Torrance.

Can Torrance help Wilson overcome her sugar addiction and find the answers before the tight-fisted killer and his deadly knife strike again?

[Phoebe]

The idea of someone lurking to lash out suddenly with a knife at your ankles is actually pretty scary.

[Eliahad]

Hey, Uncle Illian is cuddly and lovable... And shiny and pointy...

[Tahlvin]

The Tenant of Connor Bungalow
A Lost Bronte Novel
by Tahlvin

Molly Ball is a thoughtful and hilarious orphan raised by a arrogant and cowardly father. Eventually she gets a job working as a fishmonger for the noble Lord Connor of Connor Bungalow. The unlikely couple rapidly succumb to a magical passion.

On the day of their wedding, a peculiar sister escapes from the attic of Connor Bungalow and starts a fire. Believing that Lord Connor is dead, Molly flees from the church and wanders the sweltering moors for days until she is rescued by a optimistic author.

However, although Lord Connor is blinded by the fire, he still breathes. Without Molly he becomes smelly and cowardly. He turns to alcohol for comfort. The ghost of the sister from the attic haunts him.

Meanwhile, thinking Lord Connor is dead, Molly accepts a marriage proposal from her saviour, the author. However, one night she believes she can hear Lord Connor calling, "Molly, where are you? Molly come home!" and she returns to Connor Bungalow.

On Molly's return, she finds Lord Connor drunk and without sight. Mistaking her for the ghost of the peculiar sister, he attacks her with a rope and Molly Ball dies.

As he attends to the body, Lord Connor realises what he has done. Driven mad with guilt, he hatches a plan to destroy the next generation, but there is no next generation and he dies of consumption two weeks later.

[Phoebe]

Note: produce next generation before destroying it.

[Eliahad]

I love produce!

[Phoebe]

I do too.
Because... I'm a banana!

[Tahlvin]

Virginia the Vampire Slayer
A Teen Vampire Story
by Tahlvin

There's an articulate new girl in Dallas and she has everybody talking. Stunningly sexy and devastatingly bald, all the girls want her. However, Beth Ball has a secret - she's a vile vampire.

Virginia Khan is a sympathetic, puny girl who enjoys stamp collecting. She becomes fascinated by Beth who can stop rhinos with her bare hands. She doesn't understand why she's so standoffish.

Her best friend, a patient gnome called Nadine, helps Virginia begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the green, solid blade.

When bodies start turning up all over Dallas, Virginia begins to fear the worst. The gnome urges her to report Beth to the police and she knows she should, so what's stopping her?

She may resist Beth's bite, but can she resist her charms?

Will she be caught partying with the vampire?

[Eliahad]

Yes?

[Kyle]

Yes.