SUICIDE SQUAD!

[El Jefe]

It's a goddamn train wreck. I went with a crowd of folks, one of whom is the kind of conservative (admittedly, he is starting to broaden his horizons) that would generally chalk up prejudice in films to "people being way too PC." His first comment walking out of the movie was "Fuck that was some racist shit. I mean, I found that offensive. How the hell would a minority fan even make it through that trash?"

The reshoots are bleedingly obvious, because entire sections of the plot go from having gaping holes big enough to drive my ego through to utterly teeth-grinding forced humor that absolutely cuts the flow of the movie to shreds. You do get some really strong performances from a number of actors (Jay Hernandez deserves an award for taking a massive shit sandwich and turning in a stellar performance in a role that is pretty much the definition "here's a written example of white, male privilege!"). Leto is strong in an interesting take on the Joker that has the power of his performance cut off at the knees by some bewildering editing choices. Margot Robbie does an amazing job as Harley, but is once again hampered by the script and directing. They never make the ultimately key turn for her character as she starts to reject the long-term abuse from the Joker and begins the first steps of being a truly independent character. Will Smith plays Will Smith, as in most films. Lines of dialogue from Pursuit of Happiness could be subbed in for his dialogue in Suicide Squad with little change whatsoever. I'm drawing a blank on the fellow's name right now, but the actor who played Flagg was a very nice surprise as well. Waller was the scene stealer, and Viola Davis knocked it out of the park.

Also...FUCK YOU EDITOR AND DIRECTOR. SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU. You've got one badass scene going on where we get an early team action sequence and you spend approximately 4,312 minutes of showing me Will Smith standing on top of a car and shooting. Not the results of his shooting, not the action going on around him, just literally a camera view facing TOWARDS him, zoomed in close, so I can see him...shooting?

Finally, FUCK YOU DCU ARMED FORCES FOR NOT EXISTING IN A WORLD WITH DETONATORS. FUCK YOU.

The good news? Affleck is definitely the best Bruce Wayne to date. Actual Batman is a toss up, with the nod still going to Bale for me. But Affleck has nailed Wayne perfectly.

The terrible news? Avoid Justice League like the plague until you get somebody you trust to give a review. Wonder Woman's trailer is now amazingly suspect. DC has lost any of their credibility on choosing wisely on who is managing their franchises, and their directorial choices are seriously goddamn suspect. Also, apparently villains have less villainous impulses or actual evil tendencies than Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and definitely Gandhi and MLK.

I wanted to like this movie. Hell, I wanted to love this movie. The five of us that saw it were so fucking thrilled to be there. We've been waiting all damn summer for it. All five of us were severely disappointed, and three of us legitimately would have rathered rewatched the Shallows. THE FUCKING SHALLOWS.

If you want to see a brilliant interpretation of the Suicide Squad, go pick up the DCU Animated "Assault on Arkham." It largely avoids everything mentioned above, has a well written script, and manages to put together an impressive voice cast. The villains manage to be...villainous! WHAT A CONCEPT! It also has Jennifer Hale in it, so there is 100% more Commander Shepard, which makes everything better and turns the world into a beautiful, sunny place of happiness.

[Mike]

DC has animation down. DC can manage watchable (and sometimes amazing) television. DC cannot figure out this movie thing to save their lives. Even when it's formulaic, Marvel always makes an entertaining film. DC somehow keeps missing that.

I enjoyed watching Suicide Squad, but it was objectively bad. If they had just asked me, I could have fixed all of this with 30 minutes of work. Also, I think casting Will Smith put too many restrictions on what they could and couldn't do with Deadshot. He played the role well, but there could have been less of him. Maybe give an actual story arc to Killer Croc with the extra minutes... I would have liked that.

[Elle]

Thanks for doing me this service, because I was curious and that would have made me mad, to waste the time on something crappy.

[Reika]

Yeah, Jeff warned me about the movie the night he saw it. His very first comment to me was. "Reika, don't see this movie. Even when it's on network television. You will rant about this worse than you would Dragon Age 2."

Dragon Age 2 set off a rant from me that Jeff still remembers almost 6 years later and set the bar for what I will or will not lose my mind over.