Bad Feminist

[Phoebe]

Here is an example of someone noticing the phenomenon of white-appropriation of the Karen label, but attributing it to white women and objecting to the way these exaggerated applications allow less obvious Karening to slip past unnoticed. I.e. white women using Karen to avoid being thought of as Karens or needing to examine their own racism.


Problem is, it's not so much white women I see using the term as white men. The same guy complaining about lib snowflakes will use Karen as a pejorative for a meddler who wants to regulate his behavior. Not really worried about radical feminists objecting to the term, or some minor white woman Hollywood star using the term, in the larger context of the usual male anger at women who want to assert any form of control. This is the most common use I see of the term today, possibly because of where I live, but that's who's using it now.

[poorpete]

Dear Bad Feminist,

I've referred to Kamala Harris by her first name and have seen others in the media (public and social) doing the same. Should I start conditioning myself to call her by her last name? Should I encourage others? Or is a name that has never been a top 1000 baby name in the US, ok to use as it's clearer who I'm referring to than a more-familiar (24th most-familiar) surname?

Thanks a bunch. Fight the power,

- Heedful in Halifax

[Tahlvin]

Dear Heedful,

In a few months time, you may refer to her by her title, VP Elect, and a couple months after that, her new title as VP.

BF

[Phoebe]

[Phoebe]

Dear Good Feminists,
I see you all on the social media saying all the right things about how the pandemic is having difficult and unequal effects on people, particularly when it comes to child care and juggling various responsibilities that have been made more complicated now. I see you concerned about the fact that both men and women are deciding to give up their jobs so that they can stay home with the kids now that the circumstances are so difficult, and this will have long-term effects on their lives.

Yet here I am in a situation where my husband's work really is more important than mine right now, and he's mostly good about this with some minor exceptions (yes, once you go down this path, it's hard to climb back again, people get used to services, particularly those who like being waited on). I know that these feminist friends will advise me, have advised me, that I need to draw lines in different places. But the fact is that his job is much more important and somebody has to handle the entire running of a household with all of its complexities, and that someone is me. There are times it just gets to be too much to handle. And then I feel like a Realllly bad feminist because hearing about how I'm supposed to handle it by being a better feminist does not make me feel any better - in fact it makes me feel much worse.