Good Feminist

[mimekiller]

finally someone can bring down this ASSHOLE

https://www.npr.org/2019/10/02/76608365 ... mpaign=npr

[mimekiller]

chica MIGHT get a gig that pays more then we both make combined, briefly contemplating life as a househusband

[Phoebe]

Dooooo it, especially if you have an option of working half-time or going back to a job in your field after a period away. Unless your job is finding the cancer cure or saving the nation or living for your art or whatever, it's work that can be done when you need to work. If you don't need to work, you can be living, parenting a child, etc. Maybe you're having a new kid, don't know. Even better then, because you might only have a brief window when this is possible. I now do 100% of the "domestic labor" here plus having a job and our household would run a lot better if I could do one or the other and not both, but that is not ever an option.

[Phoebe]

Nine people died in a tragic helicopter crash, including children, and one of them was extremely famous and beloved by many people, so OF COURSE I understand why people are sad and why reporting has particularly emphasized the positive accomplishments of the very famous person relative to the others, all of whose lives were equally important. What I don't understand is why women who have pointed out something we all remember about the extremely famous person, because it is being conveniently set aside in this moment of tragedy, are being attacked with death and rape threats and other obscene hostilities. I will be honest, as someone who does not follow basketball with much interest: my first thought was that a violent rapist had died, and it was terribly tragic because a whole lot of people died and this man, too, might have accomplished a lot of good in the world in other ways despite the thing I remember about him. But that's what I remember about him, and now once again I've learned that the violation of bodies like mine is totally unimportant to most people, and some are so offended by the reminder that it happens that they become angry about it (including people you'd think were nice and decent folk, pro-woman or women themselves, supportive and feminist), and some smaller subset of those think that raising the issue at all deserves violent threats.

[Tahlvin]

Honestly, that's what I remember about said famous person as well. I'm not a professional basketball fan. At the time of the incident in question, though, I was traveling to Denver a lot for work, and we stayed at a nice hotel downtown where many of the professional sports teams would stay when they were in town. Going to the same hotel on a frequent basis, you get to know the staff. I remember one time talking to one of the ladies that would deliver room service. There was a pro team in town for a game, and she said none of the female staff were allowed to deliver room service to any of the teams' rooms, due to the incident with that famous person. That will always stick with me, and will continue to be the first thing I think about when he's mentioned.

[poorpete]

[Kyle]

[Phoebe]

I really can't listen to most reporting on the subject at this point, and even trying to listen to things like the impeachment recap on NPR leads to hearing a lot of nonsense about it. Many intelligent professional journalists seem incapable of balancing their hero worship of sports skill against the need to report the fullness of "nine people dead in tragic accident, including multiple kids". They're not ready to process, much less communicate to others, that sometimes flawed people also die tragically and it does not magically erase their flaws even though the tragedy is still tragic, and the person might have done other incredible things worthy of note. These facts don't have to be tied together, as if one explains the other or one is erased by the other. You can mention the rape accusation and also talk about how he compares to Michael Jordan - really, these facts can coexist!

Now the media seem to be realizing they have to mention the terrible unmentionable thing, so it is being woven into a story of growth. This is even more offensive, as if allegedly being a violent rapist is basically comparable to being an arrogant basketball player really fond of your own skills on the court, and becoming a dad and family man and a mentor to countless young players erases both early arrogance and violently attacking a woman in roughly the same manner. Bloody sexual assault, just the type of thing an assailant gets over with maturity and time until he is washed clean. It's like the woman literally does not exist at all, and any proxies who call attention to her existence are themselves punished for it, like the Washington Post reporter who was suspended for tweeting a link to a news story about it. It's just so incredibly offensive to people - they're more offended by the reminder of a terrible assault than they are offended that it actually happened to someone! Even if we just go by his apology, surely we can acknowledge someone suffered!

[Phoebe]

I'm sorry to harp on this subject, but this one has bugged me because I couldn't get away from all the media about it while trying to stay current on impeachment. Anyway, the thing is, I think many people don't believe rape is a bad thing. I mean, I don't think they really believe, in their gut, that it's much of a crime. They think rape is a masked stranger coming through the window at night with a weapon, or jumping you in a parking garage or dark side street, and those are the only rapes that deserve real punishment or penalty. Anything else just... isn't anything. It's not all that bad. I really believe this. People do not accept that it's a crime. Even when the victim is a child, they can't be a teenager but a child, and the perp can't be a priest. It's so messed up. The honest feeling seems to be that most rape just isn't truly a crime, and certainly not the type of thing for which you go to jail. An apology should suffice.

[poorpete]

I'm a big fan of the Hang Up and Listen, a Slate podcast that talks about sports honestly and how it intersects with the rest of our culture. If you can stomach it: https://slate.com/culture/2020/01/kobe- ... erage.html

[poorpete]

It's understandable, the progressive trauma of an incompetent sexist man defeating (in the electoral college) the most qualified woman ever to run, to think that means women can't win, no matter the reality of the situation (she won the popular vote, women have run and won and outperformed in record numbers in 2018). It was a punch to the face and of course we fear being punched again. But all that's kept America from a first woman president THEN was a few votes in close states, and what's keeping America from a first woman president NOW is only our fear.

[Tahlvin]

She was a very qualified woman, who had a lot of bad baggage, was not the most charismatic campaigner, and who did not run a really good campaign. Heck, she never once set foot in Wisconsin, but only sent surrogates in her place, which is part of the reason she ended up losing the state.

Yes, there will be some people that will refuse to vote for a woman candidate base solely on her sex. But I'm guessing most of those votes are probably already voting R anyways. Whoever the D nominee is, whether they be male or female, gay or straight or anything in between, or Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Shinto, etc., please just run a competent campaign with a heavy focus on the toss up states needed to win the electoral college. Love it or hate it, or want to abolish it, the EC is the only thing that matters for 2020.

[Phoebe]

If Klobuchar can attract a diverse coalition of voters I think she's the best compromise candidate, pragmatic enough to appeal to the center, but a solid Minnesota liberal Democrat in most respects. I like many things about Warren but I don't like how she compares to Trump and I do not like the prospect of the two of them sharing the spotlight. Is that fueled by a sexist double standard? Yes, in part, but it's also that she makes a better professor than public speaker, and I WANT TO WIN. I don't get a strong sense of WINNER from her.

Bernie attracts me a lot because he sticks it to the Man well at a time when this reflects the Mood, and I think he would compensate for any voters turned off by his message by drawing in new voters who finally feel they have a candidate - it's also true that he was the second choice of many Trump voters in 16, which seems crazy to me but there it is, that's what they say. So... who knows. Amy seems like a safe choice, but I can't tell if it's just that a lot of people were already fully behind Bernie or someone else so they didn't gravitate to her quickly despite actually liking her a lot, or whether she doesn't have the charisma or power of persuasion to lure in enough support. This is weird but I like the aura of "Amy" vs. "Trump" in a way that I don't like the other options. Seems stupid but we are dealing with a nation of stupids so gd stupid at this point that there is little hope. AMY just sounds good. Amy, Good, nice Mom Amy, vs Trump, that jerk.

Biden seems really aged and tired compared to even Bernie or Trump, which again is age-ist and at some level doesn't make sense, but I find it undeniably true. If he was obviously THE guy, he should have pocketed those Buttigieg voters right now. I do not understand Buttigieg voters. They mystify me. Yes, he's a nice young man. He'll make a great candidate someday. And...? WTF. I feel like the REAL sexism is these Pete voters grasping for an appealing, smart, well-spoken young man because they don't like Bernie or Biden, and the decades of hard-won experience all the female candidates had meant nothing to them compared to Buttigieg's shiny image. That pisses me off tbh. I don't see how you pick Pete over Amy or Liz or Kamala unless you have some kind of blinders on with the women candidates. When I see Pete on the debate stage next to Amy and Liz Warren, to be honest, it viscerally annoys me that so many people prefer him because she is so obviously more experienced, savvy, and smart. On the other hand, I WANT TO WIN, so I don't care if it annoys me. If people would vote for Pete, well, what the hell, I guess I'd be 100% in for Pete.

[Stan]

Pete is a twerp. One of the first things I saw from him was a plan to change the supreme court, which was moronic on several levels. I feel like he copies most of his other material from pre-Trump gop talking points. Plus, there are concerns with his time as a mayor - at best, he failed to address racial disparities; at worst he is a closet racist who intentionally chose damaged white subordinates over qualified black ones. I feel like he was able to glide along thus far on youthful looks and being back in the pack. Now that he's more center stages, he'll probably be an easy target.

Biden is the old guard beholden to corporate interests, "the senator from MBNA" with no real plan for improvement. Voted for DOMA, the Iraq war, and "tough on crime" bills, and helped put Clarence Thomas on the supreme court. Why are people even paying attention to him? He was good for memes but that's the best I can say for him.

Billionaires buying their way in? No.

I like Warren though she may not be blood thirsty enough in debates. Klobuchar would be fine, too. I like Bernie's aggressiveness, he might have issues with foreign and economic policy and he may have trouble working with congress but those things won't cost him votes.

[poorpete]

A few hours after my post, Monica Hesse says it all and says it better. All of this has been swirling in my brain the last few weeks, good to know I'm not alone.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyl ... story.html

[Phoebe]

That was a good one. I'm deeply conflicted!

[Mike]

I cannot control who other people vote for. And whether it's sexism or people worrying about everyone else's sexism or sexism masquerading as worry about other people's sexism... the bottom line is that we are still a very bigoted society, and people will choose who they choose. By the time Nebraska's primaries roll around, it will be all over but the shouting. I'm mostly an observer in this.

But I'll vote for Warren. I've come to terms with the idea that she's my ideal candidate. I want her to be president. But also, I will throw my full support behind whichever person gets the nod, because I have to. And I honestly think that all of the Dems have roughly the same odds of beating Trump, and I think those odds are better than even.

My other ideal candidate is Stacy Abrams for VP. Holy hell I love this woman! And since I don't see Warren going for the all female ticket, this fantasy is usually about a Sanders/Abrams team-up. What a fucking juggernaut that would be!

Watch the full interview... she's amazing: https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/st ... t-by-2040/

[Stan]

Yea, Indiana is also late enough that there will be, at most 2 candidates with a chance by that point.

Great idea with Abrams.

[poorpete]

I'd approve that ticket, and I think that's ideal if Bernie wins, but I wonder if he'll go for it if he wins the nom handily, which is why I'm rooting for a contested convention in all cases (except maybe if Warren or Amy suddenly skyrocket, this is the feminist thread after all). In a contested convention, I really think the leading candidate going in will be the nominee, but the dealings around a contested convention will pick an appropriate unifying VP. Otherwise I don't most of them, if they win before the nomination, to pick a VP that is diverse both demographically and politically.

Like no way is Bloomberg picking someone to shore up the left. So if he's leading, I want a good pick forced upon him.

(apologies if I'm repeating myself, I forget which points I've made and which have just been swirling in my head)

[Phoebe]

Love Abrams but first as GA governor or senator; still think Kamala is the ideal VP for anyone on that stage - or maybe Julian Castro, who actually has the federal admin experience to make a significant contribution to governing - I have to say that a Amy/Julian or Liz/Julian ticket is pretty darn exciting! After Barr we need to cleanse the stables and Kamala is also exactly the Hercules we need as AG.