Pukan the Toucan

[Kyle]

My adult Pathfinder group has a healing problem. Despite seven party members, the only one with healing is the bard- and it’s week. So I introduced Pukan the Toucan. Pukan is a magical, highly intelligent toucan that speaks. He’s great at flying and scouting and just wants to be an adventurer SO BAD. Oh! And he’s a healer! Sometimes 2d8 plus 4, sometimes just 1d8 plus 4. The group rescued him from a cruel were-rat.

But the catch is that he has to mama bird feed you his hot vomit, beak to mouth. It has to be fresh. It has to be beak to mouth. And you have to be able to hold it down to work. And he’s got to wretch and dry heave for 8-15 minutes first to work it up. And you have to sit there and listen to it so you can be immediately ready to receive the healing vomit.

After questioning, Pukan assured them that unconscious characters could receive the feeding but it would require another player to hold their head back and rub their throat to make sure they swallow it. And because it’s magical vomit, there’s no danger of choking. But because it’s such an intimate thing, Pukan wanted to make sure everyone consented to being fed if they were unconscious. Three members refused consent.

Even though there’s several injured party members in the dungeon, no one has used Pukan’s services because they’re afraid that I’m gaslighting them and they are going to end up eating nonmagical, regular bird puke.But Pukan is legit.

I love Pukan.

[Tahlvin]

LOL

[Mike]

How's Pukan doing? I love this story so much.

[Kyle]

I’m so glad you asked. Deep in the dungeon, someone was finally injured enough that he needed healing. And the group was out of spells. They discovered that Pukan was honest and did heal him with magical vomit.

[Mike]

Did you roleplay several minutes of puke noises before the reveal?

[Kyle]