Let's Write D&D Erotica

[Kyle]

Okay- hear me out.

Bad erotica is hilarious. Intentionally bad erotica is also hilarious.

Also hilarious? Weird fetishes. Like doing it with dwarves. Or some hot minotaur action. I'm also open to completely changing it to superheroes. Let's discuss.

So here's my proposal: we collectively write a weird genre smut book. We'll generally develop a plot into subchapters and then different people will write different chapters. We'll have a short style-book that contains the rules for things- like: "No crass words, but everything is referred to with a clever euphemism."

[Mike]

Yes.

I vote no pun names. Overwrought fantasy trope names, yes. Puns, no.

[bralbovsky]

Love. this. presently bereft of ideas, but they'll come...

[Mike]

[Mike]

I'd also prefer all sex to be consensual. I don't mind monster on PC sex. I don't mind mercenary sex to accomplish a goal. As long as all participants are sentient adults who have agreed to participate, I'm good.

[FlameBlade]

Orifices. Especially beholders. And mind flayers.

[Kyle]

I agree with all your he suggestions so far. There can be power dimensions, but everything 100% consensual.

Also- no beholders. They’re IP of Wizards.

Also- it shouldn’t be over the top humidors. It needs to appear as though it is written earnestly. Very earnestly.

[Phoebe]

Warning: nonconsensual monstrous encounter.

"Desna, save your loyal servant!," I cried desperately as the slime mold overtook me. What began as a routine effort to track the kobolds through the forest had turned deadly. My legs were going numb as I struggled to stand upright, but then fell backward into the cold, pillowing ooze. I screamed and thrashed about frantically, expecting to sink down at any moment and suffocate, yet I remained floating on my back upon its surface. The monster portioned a section of itself into a slimy, glistening pestle, which it proceeded to grind methodically into my helpless mortar. At that moment I knew, finally, the meaning of true ecstasy. My body relaxed into the slop, and as it did I felt my flesh slowly transforming into jelly. "Come to me," the creature murmured, or rather vibrated through my entire body, as I gave myself over to its diseased form. "Yes!" I shrieked, in the last moments before my lungs and throat dissipated into golden ooze. "I shall become you!" Now we wait, quietly, here on the forest floor, our bodies forever joined as one, pulsating and trembling with joy no other humanoid has known.

[Kyle]

I think our main character needs to be a dwarf woman with a luxurious beard. Young and trying to make her name as a brand-new adventurer that is going to try tackling the [Sensuous/Ominous name] Dungeon by herself to reclaim the [Sensuous/Phallic] Sword that lies at the heart of the dungeon.

The nice thing about this structure is that we can plot out the chapters as easily explained encounters, but still have each chapter be a discrete little mini-story/encounter.

An article I read about these erotica mills is that they plot the book chapter by chapter-- "Chapter starts with heroine here, she encounters X, she leaves to here." Repeat for 20 or so chapters. Each chapter between 1,500-1750 words. When you're done, you have a book. Also- in the erotica mills, they give each author 24 hours to spit out their chapter- which we don't have to do, but you see the level of care that goes in to this.

Also, I think our hero needs to pick up NPCs as the story progresses so that by the end of it, she's the leader of a full fledged adventuring party.

Thoughts?

[Tahlvin]

This should be interesting.

[Kyle]

Okay- so you all get the idea of what we're doing here:

(1) collectively decide on general story structure and chapter plotting;

(2) collectively determine style-book for use in chapter writing;

(3) write 1500+ word chapters of fantasy-based erotica.

So now: who is interested in participating in this? I'd like to get a list and movie it to the semi-public development section of the boards.

[Phoebe]

"Desna, save your loyal Dwarf servant!," I cried desperately, my long and luxurious beard quivering, as..."

This right here is why I neither write nor read erotica. Nobody appreciates my sexual aesthetic and I appreciate no one else's. Well, one person, but even then it's a loose Venn diagram of connection.

[Zen]

I think it's worth giving a whirl.