James Gunn

[Kyle]

[Kyle]

[Phoebe]

MrsDarcs, I take back what I said Thursday.

After hearing more from people about this topic, I wanted to add that I really did not wish to diminish any experiences that victims of emotional abuse have had, or imply that what they go through is easier, or that the effects are easier to control. It's a difficult topic in so many ways.

[Phoebe]

Here is an example of a feminist rejection of the "no means no" principle that I could not possibly disagree with more, not only in terms of the overall thesis but every single example she analyzes incorrectly:


"Yes" is terrific and necessary for personal ethics. It is also the wrong legal standard. No is hardly outdated. We are, sadly, not living in the reality where no is outdated. I'm glad that Garber thinks she's living in that reality, because it must be a pleasant place where all we need to worry about is affirmative consent. Unfortunately, I've never been allowed to live there.

The fact that some abusers and harassers want to weaponize the language of no for their own benefit does not mean that no is the wrong language. It just means they are wrong.

[buckett]

I know I'm just starting up shit, but I'm completely baffled that people are still defending Hardwick, including in this thread. It's legitimately shameful to me, and I honestly ask for those so vigorously defending him to take a deep breath, evaluate everything, and really consider what you are saying.

Hope the Talking Dead was elevated enough this week to be worth it. I'm sure Hardwick really added alot.

[Phoebe]

I don't even see anyone defending Hardwick in this thread; I can't speak for MrsDarcs but her remarks come closest to that, and I think if you read them carefully they don't deserve this response. One accurate way to describe some of the preceding comments is: "men explain why another man ought to be called a rapist, to two women who know at least as much about this and have at least as much experience with it on all levels as the men do, yet take issue with that label here". That might be worth pondering.

[Kyle]

I read her comments as telling me I was not a good person and I should essentially fuck off for not liking him. But you’re right, she’s probably not a fan.

[buckett]

There are two things going on here. (1) Some people have simply discounted Dkystra's detailed and believable story altogether, even though she had absolutely zero to gain from telling it. But the rich and powerful guy's friends say he's, like, a nice guy and all, so she must be lying.

(2) If you don't discount her story, wherein she recounts crying as Hardwick "Starfishes" her among other heinous acts, you discount it instead on the basis that it doesn't rise to your stated definition of rape and/or sexual abuse. On that point, I really don't care how you choose to classify it, other than it unambiguously paints him as a piece of shit who should not be supported by anyone.

I believe I read 20+ people walked off the set (could be wrong on the number) on the decision to reinstate him. So good for them.

[Phoebe]

[Phoebe]

I'd like to know what evidence anyone has that MrsDarcs is being wrongly swayed by the opinions of the "rich and powerful", or even that she assumes the accuser must be lying. Really, read it again, and maybe ask why it is so important to chide her again for what she said. What is your purpose in doing that? Does she need shaming? Do her heartfelt beliefs and responses to this case require further discipline? I don't get this.

[buckett]

[DMDarcs]

The big issue at hand is that Mrs. Darcs is a scientist by trade, Kyle is a lawyer by trade, and the two professions have different working definitions of what constitutes evidence.

EDIT: Original post lacked the word "working".

[buckett]

I legitimately apologize if this is coming across as personal, but I am seeing victory laps over his reinstatement and it's really sickening to me.

[DMDarcs]

[Kyle]

[Phoebe]

[Phoebe]

[buckett]

I quoted her exact post - one of two - where she said well if you choose to believe a vengeful ex that's on you.

But I honestly want to demarcate the bounds of the discussion. Please answer as concisely as you can, because you throw out a lot of interesting ideas that are often not germane to what I'm talking about. I don't want to obfuscate the issues here.

(1) Do you believe Dykstra is lying? Is her factual account accurate, if you had to guess?

[buckett]

And, to both you and Darcs, I am legitimately upset by whatever abusive experiences you have had in the past. I would hope people around you believed you and supported you in those moments.

[buckett]

And, in all honesty, if the real issue is just referring to Hardwick as a rapist in particular, I will totally concede that. Can we call him a bad person? Who I would not want to work with, and I'd hope others wouldn't either?

I agree with you that that term in particular should be used sparingly. But throw that aside for a moment. Does it excuse his behavior if he is not a rapist?