Bad Feminist

[Phoebe]

I dunno, I read that interview as him trying to cover his ass because he knew damn well what was up with Harvey W. but as the noble Father of Daughters he needs some plausible deniability. He's not looking at things from the perspective of the people who suffered something; he's looking at it from a liability/punishment angle, and I don't really find that productive.

[Phoebe]

. If you're one, so am I.

Lots of good words on that page, but here is one especially good and truthful chunk:
"Why have accountability and transparency been framed as antithetical to women's rights?

A war among women, as opposed to a war on women, is always pleasing to those who do not wish women well."

[Tahlvin]

from Chris Hardwick's former girlfriend.

[Mike]

Wow.

[Kyle]

The three years they were dating was the time period where I listened to every current episode of the nerdist. There's things she's saying in there (particularly the "starfishing") that are consistent with terms he used and side comments he made. And she's right- after they broke up he wasn't nice about it. Gross.

[Tahlvin]

Yes, I thought he seemed a bit "out of character", if you will, after the breakup, and thought at the time he got engaged that he sure seemed to have moved on pretty quickly. It will be interesting to see what happens with ComiCon and his TV shows.

Any idea who the girl was that helped sabotage her career? I didn't follow him too closely at the time, so I don't know very well who it might have been. I was worried it might have been Felicia Day, but I did see that Cloe was tweeting Felicia when Felicia had her baby recently, so I don't think it's her.

[Phoebe]

I don't know who these people are, but I appreciate the story as a warning and explanation of how easily people can entangle themselves with creeps who behave that way. My only complaint is that what she described as sexual assault is not sexual assault and unfortunately the difference matters to me. While she may have been sexually assaulted and simply hasn't chosen to describe that in detail here, what she describes is not that, because even if you consent to sex because your partner is vaguely threatening to end the relationship over it, you consented and had a choice that is not present when people are assaulted. However, that doesn't change the overall importance of her story. It's useful to hear how a bad relationship like that develops anyway.

[Mike]

So consenting to sex because of a threat of physical harm would still be sexual assault, but consenting to sex because of a threat of social/emotional harm is not?

[mimekiller]

I guess one is not healthy and one is illegal and deserving of jail time.

[Phoebe]

Yes, though obviously in other situations a serious or criminal threat could be made that doesn't technically involve violence to the person threatened. Threatening to end the relationship is not that kind of threat, unfortunately. It doesn't make what happened good. It's important that we don't dilute and confuse the meaning of sexual assault by applying it to situations that aren't assault. I say that out of sympathy with people who were assaulted, and not because I lack sympathy for those who treated very badly.

[mimekiller]

https://www.thedailybeast.com/how-did-t ... cape-metoo

[Phoebe]

No idea why some people have skated on this issue so readily. With Clinton, part of the problem is that the GOP did try to weaponize claims about him being unfaithful, which was as useful a political tool for them as anything else like actual assault since they don't really care about either. So people had their guard up against what was perceived as a partisan set-up, and some of the accusers also had real credibility issues. I have no doubt of his creepiness though; I would not want to be in a room alone with him.

[Phoebe]

People in a lather about Maynard. Is this a shock? The only shock is that he carefully asked to make sure she was barely legal. It's like, here's a person who has been very clear about the fact that he is not a nice person at all, who turns out to be a crazy asshole. What do you know? Got to believe people when they tell you frankly that this is what they're all about. Someone tells you he's a psychopath, believe it! I believe.

[mimekiller]

reads like some edgy Tool fan fiction. Never a huge TOOL FAN but i've seen puscifer a couple times live and that's a hell of a group, great show.

[Phoebe]

I feel sorry for any girl who wandered into a room with that dude alone. I'm sure there are dozens of those stories. I seem to recall a YouTube video where Maynard appears to molest some random dude who is stupid enough to intrude his way onto the stage. I'm not even sure he was paying attention to what any of his parts were up to, and wasn't none of it good.

[Phoebe]

I feel sorry for any girl who wandered into a room with that dude alone. I'm sure there are dozens of those stories. I seem to recall a YouTube video where Maynard appears to molest some random dude who is stupid enough to intrude his way onto the stage. I'm not even sure he was paying attention to what any of his parts were up to, and wasn't none of it good.

Anyway it wasn't a fan fiction. otherwise they would have been in prison and he would have stuck out his tongue which would have turned into some kind of giant black tentacle. when a man tells you that he feasts on human flesh and in a manner that doesn't Inspire that it was fun for the other person, believe him!

[mimekiller]

[Phoebe]

So basically your view is that it's impossible to rape any girl who goes backstage and meets a musician at a concert. Good to know! As we say, when people tell you who they are, believe it! I believe you!

[Phoebe]

[bralbovsky]

It feeds into the insidious effects of all of that 'boys will be boy' shit.
If we want to go down that road, and we are headed back there, make no mistake, 'me too' notwithstanding, where naivete, or stupidity means that assault is ok, we have gone back to the point where the rabbit deserved to be eaten because it just wasn't fast enough.

Ya, it's evolutionary, but it's the opposite direction from civilization.

We have a collective decision to make: is there such a thing as human rights? Is there such a thing as humanity? If not, fine, let's keep going, let the cruelest and the most selfish figure out how to cheat evolutionary biology with hired muscle and changing the rules that everyone else has to live with. That can be the trajectory. It'll be short, and wasteful.
If so, we have to figure out how to make this experiment sustainable by finding out what we can get from every resource (that means everyone has a potential contribution, the issue is figuring it out and catalyzing it). It means saving people who would otherwise die, or be crushed by their circumstances so they can be part of the team. No guarantees, but I happen to believe it could work.

Having said that, if we're backing up to be wolves again, please let me know. I have knives to sharpen, and a list.