Internet porn

[Phoebe]

I was thinking about this due to the other thread, and it occurs to me, I wonder if other people who share some of my interests/likes/aesthetics have the same problem with "internet porn" or, maybe not. Or maybe it's not all like that and I just don't dig around enough for quality.

But consider: nerdy people, people who like RPGs and are totally comfortable in this imaginative mental universe, people who certain modes of cultural aesthetic expression that tend, shall we say, toward the unique and fantastical, how do they encounter porn that could appeal to their sensibilities? Maybe they tolerate and enjoy other things, who knows, but "mainstream" porn is in so many ways the opposite of all the things that make nerd culture great (I don't really have a term for it so I'll just go with that). It reproduces the same hierarchies and value systems that such people might spend a good portion of their imaginative life trying to refashion or ignore. Even things as simple as the sets, the clothing, and the context are all wrong and dull and uninspiring. Yeah, I get this is not why people are watching, but if you did have the option of watching something better, why wouldn't you want that instead?

Apparently there at least people fond enough of nature to support categories of "outdoor" settings. But that's as far as it goes. Same dumb shit, same sexist tripe... on a park bench under trees. Great. I don't underestimate the internet's power to bring everything to life, but are there repositories for things like "people who want to make motions imitating a swimming stingray" or "two barbarians in leather armor meet in a thunderstorm" or "what if we were in a giant space egg pod and had four arms?" I don't know, maybe I just don't visit the right websites, but I feel like we need greater imagination in porn.

[Iantha]

Ovipositor. My friends were kind (assholes) enough to link me to it. I'll let you Google that on your own. But maybe not at work.

[mimekiller]

and unless a DNA test is done on camera I have a hard time believing that the people having sex are actually related

[mimekiller]

Porn is kind of this interesting thing tho that kind of proves horeshoe theory correct where both people on the extreme right or left seem to hate it haha.

[Bonefish]

For best results, use Bing to search across multiple platforms.

But yeah, if you are into niche stuff? Ya just gotta bookmark shit.

[Phoebe]

I don't really know what Niche stuff means. I feel like my way ought to be the highway but is not. Most of the porn = a lot of boring, sweaty exertions, utterly joyless. I don't know what you other people are doing. I Googled oviparous. Since I almost never look at any pornographic websites, it took me a realllllllly long time to find something that Iantha might have been referring to. And to be honest with you I'm still not sure this is the thing. There is a silicon imitation ovipositor. There's a recipe for making your own eggs that would be ejected by this ovipositor. I found it absolutely fascinating; alas, I have no sexual purpose for this thing whatsoever. What the hell do I want with an egg or an egg ejector? What am I supposed to do with that thing? It was like Gwyneth's jade eggs, with a disembodied hand. Plus it looked fundamentally unclean. In the sense that it looked slimy, or like you'd have to make it slimy to do whatever.
I don't even know if this is the thing I was supposed to be looking at.

Ovipositor is a great concept however. I can do a great deal with that whole concept if we leave the strange silicone device out of it. I feel like there's an Isabella Rossellini video about ovipositors and that is Definitely my idea of good porn.

[Phoebe]

Shared the video of the egg laying splorch with my husband about an hour ago ("wha... what the #_&-_##$__&????) ; he's still googling the mystery and I nearly choked to death laughing. "This is a first for me. I don't understand. I thought I was down for whatever but... I don't get it. How do you use it? Where does the egg go?" Ad popped up just now: "Dive into a sea of all-new sun-kissed swim styles for the family." The computer knows. It's self aware and hilarious. I need to breathe oxygen.

[Phoebe]

These Green Porno things are the pinnacle. I can appreciate what they are trying to do for us with the Ovipositor but the problem is, my receptacles are not suited to it. It has given great amusement of other non-sexual kinds, however.

I feel that this is the best one, I could get into this for real, like, how do we make this happen?



Another highlight, more of a romance:

Also this is really good on the mating side - accurate! fun! - except for the tragic bycatch portion:

This one is like dominance/submission for the insects, I can appreciate it:

Basically I need to find some human equivalent videos for this. Where is that "niche" in the world of sexist objectification?

[mimekiller]

Porn is nice because its hot people having sex and its nice to think like wow what if I did that but also if you watch professional porn(and you should because that's the only way you know everyone is paying their taxes) they are having sex in nice houses and that's also nice to think about.

[Mike]

I prefer my internet porg a little cleaner.

[Iantha]

[Phoebe]

Lollllll the porg video, ha! The whole dialogue goes like this:
OMG!!!
It's so big!
It's so heavy!
It's so big.
I want to see you try to put it in there.
It won't fit.
No room.
It's so big.
I love it.
It's so heavy!
It's so big.
I think it looks great.
Looming over me.
Beautiful.