People Annoy Me

[Phoebe]

Yes, we can add those people, and I'm throwing them in the same alligator pen with doctors who dismissed my mom's symptoms over the years instead of solving them.

Others have been much nicer to me this weekend, perhaps as they lent one of my possessions out against my better judgement and then we had the i-told-you-so moment, where I stayed quiet, but we all know what's up.

[Phoebe]

Three people in this world have proven themselves capable of handling a kitchen sink drain: me, my Mom, and my Dad. I hope that many of you will prove innocent in this regard but unfortunately, everyone is guilty until proven innocent in this area. It ain't rocket science people - what is the problem? We're trying to achieve the optimal state of no solid or semi-solid objects ever going down the drain.

Three people in this world have proven themselves capable of caring for my indoor plants: me, myself, and I. I would not presume to care for anyone else's plants, should I happen to visit a place that has some. Nor do I need help with my own, as evidenced by the simple fact that here they are, thriving.

[Phoebe]

I'm stopped at a stop sign, also observing a dog that is sniffing around in the lawn next to me, when a random neighbor dude runs out and approaches my car dead on in a game of chicken, in that gorilla pose guys use to manifest their gorilla behaviors - head thrust forward, arms down but out in front, wide stance, back and forth walk. Hmm, I say to myself, shall I turn right, turn left, wait to see what hair is up this guy's butt, or prepare to knock him down if he charges my large metal vehicle like a crazy person? My vehicle, needless to say, has long since come to a complete stop of the sort that would cause an impatient person behind me to honk. Dude does not wave, does not indicate anything through the normal languages of pointing and gesturing. Rather, Dude saunters up and shouts "STOP SIGN!" at me. Okay, dude, maybe that's why I'm sitting here stopped. Dude then fetches up the dog as I drive away, having never posed the slightest threat to him or the dog.

This is the kind of human mentality that causes The Problem in pretty much all aspects of life, which is why I bother to note it here. This is the dude who does not ever, ever think he might be the problem, and whose first instinct is to be aggressive in any situation in which he's uncomfortable. He thinks it's okay for him to try to intimidate some woman he doesn't know, because he's miffed that his dog escaped. I deal with this dude in my mostly Trump-voter neighborhood, at work, while driving, when buying cars and houses - you name it. These dudes are angry! What exactly is wrong with you, upper-middle-class white dude living in a sea of other upper-middle-class white people, that you are so seized with anger all the time? I know why I'm angry, and it's not making me yell at you in public. Why are you angry?

[Phoebe]

One possible cause: three decades of white frat boys listening to rap/hip-hop and getting confused about the real nature of their lives? One of the things I've always enjoyed about my husband is his full recognition of the fact that he was reared up from birth to run the world and benefit from the various privileges bestowed on people through no actual inherent merits of their own. Far from being crotchety about this basic fact, he takes it as a personal mission to embrace this and make sure the same love gets spread around equally to other people insofar as he's able. He gets angry when that doesn't happen, not angry about who he is. He laughs at other wealthy people who cry about their tax bill.

[Phoebe]

The amount of pleasure I think it gives you to interact with me, your customer, is inversely proportional to the number of times beyond one, or at the outside maybe two, that you tell me "my pleasure". When you've said it four times I'm pretty damn sure it's not your pleasure at all anymore.
Note: the average interaction in a Chick-fil-A involves hearing it at least a dozen times even in the Drive-Thru.

Whoever decided that my normal speaking voice emphasis made it necessary to capitalize every damn word I put in voice to text... You.

[Phoebe]

Whoever decided to perfume the JoAnn store in that way. If I pass out or die from the stench of your disgusting fake smells, I won't be able to spend much money now will I?

Whoever decided that a good look for fingernails was the bloody inverse of the French manicure: blood red tips where the whites of the nails normally are, and the rest pale or clear. Frankly it looks exactly like somebody has been scratching wildly at their scabs and has an entire fingernail full of dried blood. If any of you or your nail polish wearing friends enjoy this look, I will be the one Brave and true friend enough to tell you that it's deeply wrong.

[Phoebe]

The fundamental problem in today's America is laid bare in the student drop off/pick up line of schools.

[Ronster]

You are in the turning lane, not the "Let-Me-Into-Your-Lane lane, yet here you go just like 10% of the drivers. You are not confused by the traffic pattern. It was not a mistake that put you into this predicament. No, you zoomed past the line of cars going straight in your right turn only lane and parked yourself in the gore poised to assert yourself into the legitimate traffic flow. Mercy and good manners are being frustrated to tatters. This is not your first time. I know your car now, in fact I know that we work at the same place and you choose to do this daily like a wolf in sheep's clothing you seek the pardon we give the stranger and the lost traveler. You are a dog in a manger devouring the mercy that is set for others.

You have been weighed in the balance and found wanting.

[Phoebe]

[Stan]

[Phoebe]

Yep. But occasionally you will find another driver who has a plan to break some rule cooperatively with you and that's alright.

[Ronster]

The traffic must flow..but seriously every stinkin day there's these people like the guy who parks in the handicapped spot...I want to yell "That's not for you!"

On the good side of things I am learning to let things go. Yes, even the ne'er-merge-wells. You see the entrance to the International departures uses the same access roads as our Technical Operations facility so these poor people are already confused with the traffic and they get all mixed up with the sorry drivers from work...and some of them get railroaded into a turn only lane. I will from now on assume they are confused or misled, allow them into the correct lane and go about my happy life oblivious to their schemes.

I have a theory that the more a person schemes the worse their quality of life is because they are probably missing all the good parts due to worrying about someone getting one over on them.

...ohhhhhhmmmmm....

[Phoebe]

Same wise lesson applies to educating other drivers, unfortunately. You really CANNOT educate them. They will be sure they're in the right and get pissed off at your attempt, so it's something I never bother with. I merely want to be spared dealing with such people and move away from them quickly.

I am dealing with people who are doing wrong and scheming against me, more in the generic sense - me as a member of a whole group of people, of which I am merely one - but also in some personal sense as well. This requires a certain amount of defensive maneuvering, and I honestly detest it. I hate having to think through people's motives and see what they're up to when they behave badly. I don't want to know, I don't want to be bothered with it, but if I want to defend people who are unjustly attacked I need to know what is going on and be a few steps ahead down the road. The problem is I have limited powers. If I had like a million dollars sitting around I would be able to do SO MUCH GOOD using it as a lever. I always think that other people out there are far more competent than I am and know what's going on, and have lawyered up or are thinking like an attorney, but it turns out that is so seldom the case! It's shocking. My lifelong sense of cautious defensiveness has served me well this year, but you can never have too much of it. Never. And that feels a lot like Scheming even when it's very much the opposite. I want to quit the world and just cook things and write novels.

[Phoebe]

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, dead men tell no tales, some light bulbs generate heat as well as light, and when you specially heat up only the room that the fucking thermostat sits in, the rest of the house will be really fucking cold. That is all. I didn't make this shit up, I am merely reporting it.

[Cazmonster]

You could by LED bulbs. Save money on electricity and spend more on heat!

[mimekiller]

Here's a little phrase we could all learn from: Live, Laugh, Love!

[Phoebe]

Oh people, humanity, you really give us some pips, and not even reaching to actual criminals. Just the charming everyday people one must handle.

[Phoebe]

I am pretty fond of white men, especially when it comes to highly specific ones in my orbit. Most of you readers are probably white men, or at least many of you. And I like you. What I do not understand is why any of you would need special affirmative action treatment. In my experience, the way hiring works is that white men become advanced contortionists, able to swap criteria wildly at the drop of a hat if it means avoiding hiring any non-white-men, and ensuring that affirmative action is given to white men. I am not a fan of ANY affirmative action, so as you might imagine, this is a problem. I'm reaching a point where, as people shift the sands of their shit endlessly in a desperate attempt to prefer white men, I am unable to respect people or take them seriously. Yet those are absolute musts. It is very hard, with all the shithole talk and all the sexism being examined in the cold light of day, to continue respecting and liking people who pull these stunts.

[mimekiller]

that google guy really steams your hams eh? Yea I mean it will be interesting how much traction his lawsuit gets, if any.

[Phoebe]

I really don't understand how people who claim to dislike affirmative action are so fanatical about preferring white men. You either want affirmative action or you don't, you know? If education is the most important criterion, then it should be the most important. If work experience is the most important, okay. If technical skills are most important, okay. But you don't get to decide that Dude A is better because of his fancy college, and Dude B is better because of his past experience, and Dude C is better because of his skill set, and Dudes D, E, and F are better because they have the waft of brilliance that can't be captured in mere words on a page. Meanwhile, magically, all these criteria will be disappeared like unique stages of a kaleidoscope the minute it's time to view the non white man applicant.

At moments like these I sometimes ask myself, why am I doing this nonsense? But the grass is always greener and the minute you think you don't need the money and can move on, suddenly something bad happens and you need the money. I don't know. I'm at a low ebb of disgust. I feel broken and part of me wants to know whether it was an accident or collusion. Then I realize, I am like Jean Grey at this moment and everyone should fear me.