This Happened

[Tahlvin]

Tell me about it. We're going through the same thing with our daughter.

[Zen]

[Tahlvin]

[Zen]

[mimekiller]

as a feminist I gave one of the many females in the office a chance to change out the water cooler in the break room and not a single one took me up on my offer. I wish they shared the same feminist values that I did.

[Phoebe]

Don't be lured in by the nonsense equity feminism that tries to erase sexual difference and ensure that everyone is treated in exactly the same way whether it makes sense or not.

[mimekiller]

Dating in 2017 is lying in bed naked with someone and hoping they like you enough to see a movie with you.

[Phoebe]

Whew, glad I'm not dating. There are some advantages, clearly. Standards really have changed in various ways; I am a bad feminist for disliking it. A few years ago the Go Fug Yourself ladies were asking the celebs of the world to look into pants, while everyone sagely nodded agreement, because who the hell thinks dark pantyhose are fit for traipsing around in public? Now even the men wear skin-tight pants, women wear nothing I would call pants, bras have become acceptable public and professional attire, and so forth. If you object to this, you're not simply a person who thinks appropriate clothing to the occasion is an acceptable cultural norm; nope, you're a sexist. Soon we will all just go around topless, men and women, because why not.

[Iantha]

My dog got skunked this morning. Direct hit to the face.

[Tahlvin]

[Zen]

[Iantha]

Tomatoes aren't actually that effective. There are two effective remedies that I have found:

1) Feminine douche. Caramel is 85 lbs and medium haired, so we went through 7 bottles, but it works well. Just be careful not to get it in their eyes. The vinegar can be very irritating.

2) Mix 1/2 cup of baking soda, 4 tablespoons of peroxide, and 3 or 4 drops of Dawn dish soap.

Both of these work very well.

[Phoebe]

Oh no, poor dog! That had to be unpleasant for all concerned.

[Zen]

[Iantha]

[Phoebe]

Amen, that is just an invitation to health problems. Brrr.

[Phoebe]

A dude I work with gave me a present and I can't decide whether it's weird or not. Or how weird it is.

One of the joys of family: my cousin is not well and sometimes says things that make you wonder, but there is not even one thing you can do about it. So as you ponder this, putting 1 and 2 together, she must be sitting there freaking out in the wee hours of morning, as her thoughts randomly turn to the topic of self harm, purely in the abstract one hopes. Normally I push it down, knowing the total futility of any other plan. Today for some reason I cannot push it out. Gripped with anxiety over it. There's an unbreakable cord somewhere.

My bedroom window is open and making spooky creaking noises, despite the fact that it's supposed to be locked. Couldn't sleep last night because garage door opened - and then shut - in wee hours for no goddarn reason that could be discerned. House rebelling or something. Not sure.

[Mike]

If you can give us more specifics of the gift and the nature of your relationship to this coworker, we'd be more than happy to give you an up-down vote on whether or not it's weird.

[El Jefe]

[Phoebe]

Pretty sure at least a few extra mammals besides the legitimate 6 - and as I say this, no fewer than 2 of the 6 tried to take their g.d. tacos OUT OF THE KITCHEN to eat, WTF, I have to stick to "polite" non-potty words when this happens but $(*%^ *&^#()$*^&_$&Q@#)$*& is what I feel -

Where were we? Thanks to some of the mammals, other non-legitimate mammals feel welcomed in this home. So sometimes the weird noises and things are caused by those other mammals. I'm wondering if the garage door was triggered by a mammal wriggling beneath/around it, and so it went up for "safety" reasons and then back down. Or whole groups of people could probably be living in and around the attic spaces. No idea. If they could put some traps down while they're there, it's cool. I dislike worrying about whether other people are alive, safe, well, etc. It's something I should be easily able to flick straight out of my mind, yet from time to time I cannot.