Bread Alignment

[Kyle]

Oh my god. I'm Chaotic Neutral.



via: https://twitter.com/aurelianrabbit/stat ... 3846275072

[Tahlvin]

I guess I'm neutral; usually lawful neutral, but chaotic neutral often enough. My kids, however, are perpetually stuck at chaotic evil.

[Mike]

Lawful Neutral when I can be. Chaotic Neutral when I have to be.

I mean, I have twist-ties in the drawer, so I could always have a tie or clip if I wanted, but if someone's lost it, it's not really worth the effort of getting out a new one. Twist and tuck. I mean, how long's that loaf gonna last anyway?

[Zen]

Actually, I would say that Chaotic Neutral is taking the "good pieces" and leaving the misshapen pieces in the bag, including having most of the pieces at the top being sideways in the bag instead of flat, making it clear that you reached past them to get the pieces you wanted, leaving bits of whatever was on your forearms or shirt sleeves on those pieces, possibly causing damage to some of those pieces in the process, like bending them or ripping the corners, and showing absolutely no regard for the other people who might want bread out of that loaf.

(This is an embellishment on a George Carlin routine...)

That said:

Lawful Neutral by nature
Neutral Good by loss or breakage
Chaotic Neutral if pressed for time and the loaf is almost gone.

[Phoebe]

I have some serious concerns & objections to this classification system. However they have lawful evil spot on and that's where my husband is.

Anyone who puts a rubber band on a bread sack is some species of evil so I cannot imagine why that would be true neutral.

What they have is lawful neutral is in fact lawful or neutral good, and pretty much everything in the good column is either neutral or evil instead.

[Stan]

lawful neutral.
Though, when buying vegetables at the grocery store, I'm lawful evil.

[Bonefish]

Generally Lawful neutral to lawful evil.

[poorpete]

Wife has made me lawful neutral, but otherwise chaotic neutral. I've tied knots if the bread is travelling, but I do that loopy knot that you can pull apart from it's ends.

[Phoebe]

[DMDarcs]

Lawful evil, tendencies to neutral evil.

[Eliahad]

Does anyone here actually own a bread box or know someone who does?

[Mike]

Me.

[Eliahad]

You ARE evil!

[Phoebe]

No bread box. It is NOT lawful good. We have a bread area built into our kitchen counter (like a miniature bread garage) and it's terrifying. Obviously Ron insists that we use it! The bread is all in there right now. I haven't touched it for days.

[Mike]

Yeah, I don't care for the bread box. All breadstuff that goes in there is still in the original bags, so it's not doing anything for freshness at this point. And when it's in the breadbox, the kids are incapable of finding it, and bread will go bad. Set it on top of the breadbox, and any bag of baked goods is gone in 2 or 3 days tops.

I use it for hiding secret snacks. No one ever opens it.

[Zen]

My mother had a bread DRAWER. It was a deep drawer with a sliding metal cover with ventilation holes on it for storing bread. That was where all of the bread was stored in the house I grew up in, after the kitchen was remodeled that is. I think she started storing it in the fridge or freezer later in life when it was just she and my dad.

[Phoebe]

Some people who grew up at any point in life without the miracle of refrigeration will put bread in the fridge as if it's a good thing. In the worst cases they freeze and rethaw and act as if it tastes just as good. All of this is madness. It is one of the very few parental behaviors I cannot understand or get on board with. Do not freeze bread! Better to let it die than freeze. I feel this way because I've never relied upon bread to satisfy hunger, or lost valuable bread to spoilage that I couldn't easily replace.

[Mike]

Or found bread on sale and bought enough to freeze it because pennies matter. Or had to stock up for a coming storm. There's lots of reasons to freeze bread. And while it may or may not taste as good, they're probably buying cheap, low quality bread to start with if money is that tight, so even fresh, it wouldn't taste nearly as good as the gourmet, artisanal stuff that you're used to.

[Mike]

And just to be clear, I'm sarcastically calling you an elitist. I've been in your home and met your lovely children, and I'm fully aware that you are not like that.

[Bonefish]

do you eat white or wheat? I've found wheat tends to mold up a lot quicker than white, and since I like wheat...