Drunk Posting

[Eliahad]

It's going to be awesome!!!
A day off in wine country, also awesome!

[Phoebe]

Work situation SO CRAZY that I have drunk an entire bottle of wine just to soothe myself, much like a stressed infant might want a whole bottle before bedtime. This seems from some detached, objective perspective like a poor idea because when a person is like, wooooooooo CRAZY SHIT HAPPENING, that seems like a poor time to indulge in drink as a means of escapism. Drink shouldn't be about that, right? on the other hand, I have a huge wine catalog and somebody needs to tackle it. That seems like a poor phrasing, too! I have a wine, uh, cabinet. It's overflowing because we want to invite people over and so we are stocked up! We have been inviting over people, you know, and that can only continue and improve. I think my life would improve if some of the people I work with appeared here for wine and we were like HA HA HA this shit is CRAZEEEE isn't it? And then didn't have to really deal with it for a few days, in lieu of drinking and being contented.

Since this is also a place where I bemoan my social life, let me give you a helpful update. I have been making friends!

[The executive function being grimly restored the next day, I have determined that calling people you want to be friends with a "bad ass" and suchlike may be accurate and true and intended as a big compliment at the time, but not a sensible idea when you've said enough that the right people could accidentally stumble upon and figure out who you're talking about. Therefore: REDACTED! That whole section, REDACTED! The rest amuses me, however, as a window into my own seriously stressed-out brain.]

I find that it's a poor idea to drink the whole bottle of wine. I really have to tell you, my job doesn't seem like it should be stressful, but I made some choices within those parameters that have made it outrageous, just over the top, what am I doing here, how did this happen, WTF level stressful. I can't tell you this story because it's very Identifying, but maybe I can change names to protect the innocent. When I started my job, I was very anxious about a trivial matter affecting my day to day. I remember this like yesterday, it was a trivial matter but absolutely fucking HILARIOUS in retrospect. it was like, umm///// it was like I was worried that a coworker might, say, smoke in my office. That's not the thing but that's a similar level problem. It was my BIGGEST problem. And I was worried I would offend people higher up on the chain of life who seemed like Giants of the universe at that time, people I was so admiring and fearful of. Looking back on this, comparing the things that are stressing me now vs. that, it always brings a hilarious perspective that grounds everything. Like, that first formative experience of navigating Workplace Conflict was so scary, so major, and looking back, wow. What a long strange trip. It makes you think, yeah, why can't I do this next thing, and the thing after that? I can do that. But maybe I don't want to. Maybe I just want to spend time with my parents and growing lettuces and stuff. Did you realize Miami and Virginia Beach are sinking, in addition to the non US places we know? Well, that's where we are. What time is it? What time? What is really important to you? This is a $10 wine btw, that's as good as any.

[Phoebe]

Here is a fun observation that really tells how it is: I went back, I had my wine glass, and though I knew I had already drunk the whole bottle, I somehow had a wishful confused thinking it were still empty. I said, please don't spill any wine, so I poured very, very carefully, the bottle. It was empty. None came out. Ha ha, I said, I had already drunk it, indeed, just as I had known. Yet here I was, seeing if any were left. Well, that's how it is. Murphy's law and some shit. I want to point out, every so often I watch a movie called Leap Year. This is an utterly shit movie that one of my dear friends in past loved very much and we watched it together. Amy Adams, the guy involved can't remember name, is absolutely unreal hotness levels and was also the love interest on The Good Wife. So - this movie, idiotic, but one watches it. Well, one of the things the hot guy says about the girl is that Murphy's law is big with her. Yes! It is big with me. I did a thing that took a lot of time and was stressful, and I thought I had it all done and resolved, and then as if by MAGICS another thing came along that was about 100x worse and is certainly NOT resolved. HA ha ha, murphy has a role here. Just about the time you... yeah, then the other shoe. Oh, I am in a catch 22. Probably this is why I'm dipping into the Tolstoy. He's so grim and tragic. Yeah people, I know you're human and have reasons and feelings, but fuck you. GOD!!!! God says you have to live better. There is only the way of Ethics. Okay, Tolstoy, I hear you had a colorful life, guy. What are you really trying to tell us? Is this one of those Do as I say and Not as I do situations, Leo? What of it? I resent a person who has wronged me, yet I make it my business - sincerely, with some cheer involved - to vigorously advocate for the interests of this person at all times. This is what it seems Christian Ethics are all about. How can you understand the difficult positions life puts people in but then advocate such grim admonishments, Tolstoy?

I have a recurring dream: I'm on a picnic blanket and I dont know, something weird is happening. Maybe I'm talking to fish in a pond or doing minimally attired tai chi or something, and Nietzsche shows up. We have an impasse in our communications. This is not a story worth telling. Better luck to all of you: I highly recommend either a single malt salty scotch or wine. Always red wine.

[Iantha]

Gin is my friend.

Also- fuck you and the horse you came in on, Rogue One.

And fuck my sister in law. I hope a komodo dragon decides to nibble on her. Slowly.

[Mike]

I finally get to post here!

I love the whole world! You guys are all especially awesome. This community is the best. I would list you all by name, but I know that in this condition, I will forget someone. Probably Salvation. That would make me feel bad once I sobered up. So know that I appreciate all of you. You're the best!

You especially.

P.S. How incredible are my posting skills when I'm seven or eight drinks in? Nine? I don't know. We were taking the Buttershots straight from the bottle (family tradition) so it could be more. No... let's say eight. Either way, this is super readable. I'm a goddam hero.

[Mike]

No seriously... where my nerds at? I can't believe I'm alone here on a Saturday night. But it's okay. I'm sure you're all busy being awesome with your own friends and family.

[Mike]

And now everyone's gone, and I'm all alone by the fire. Time for bed. First... hydrate. Second... ibuprofen (because I'll need it soon enough). Third... bed.

Good night!

No wait! First... pee. Everything else gets bumped down one.

[Mike]

By the way, Saturn's out.

Cool. It's no Jupiter, but still pretty damn cool.

[Mike]

And a shooting star.

I made my wish.

Now it's really time for bed.

Good night!

[Phoebe]

Hello. I am here with a really hyper dog. I struggled to get the Captain off his very high shelf though I wear the high heels. At this time. Dog hunts now, other mammals. Sitting outside. Bad air here, a smoker. I rock in rocking chair. Very massaging to the inner organs, such as liver. Shiny is the liver, shining and smooth. Glossy, even. Indoors we go. Waiting for the smoker of stinking stenchmakers to stop. Smelly still from sitting near smoke, I sit, sighing, on sofa. Clickclickclick go the dog toenails on floor. Investigation! Alacrity. Sniffing.

[Phoebe]

As soon as I plug in my phone I think I will once again be able to propeshy. That spelling looks wrong but I must be so far off that autocorrect isn't helping. Anyway, the currents are lined up for propesy. Still song. Wrong. How am I missing this? Propetic. Prophetic. Propesizing. OK, I'm watching Alone if you need anything.

[Phoebe]

OMG y'all

[Phoebe]

I got confused and thought I had posted what Mike posted up there in late July. It made sense.

[Phoebe]

[Phoebe]

Wheeeeee, made it happen the right way. It's dayti.e! It's happy! It's a party! All other conditions obtain but... I'm cheerful, that is the important thing. Born into a time and place where we get food, shelter, and can do damn near whatever the heck we please in life. Live it up people, this is nothing short of miraculous relative to the average condition of all himanitym.

[Eliahad]

Is anyone else enjoying holiday cheer? My friend made the Margaritas doubles and didn't tell me. But that's okay because we're having a blast!

[Phoebe]

I wonder if I can post in here, like, every day between now and Jan 1 and would that be wrong? Anyway, my husband should really like me because I've made him the best soup known to humankind, with a shallot cheese and wine and tomato/cucumber salad to serve as the opening course, and now I shall retire to the nap until he returns to the nest. Here we are in the nest, having accomplished very little besides making soup, and it's wonderful. I am not going to work at all until next week. Not even once! And tomorrow I shall go to the hypnotist who will talk to my alternate personalities or whatever, and maybe they'll have ideas. WTF I say, well, you live once, I suppose it's an amusing prospect to find out what on earth he's on about.

[mimekiller]

Anything can be poop, if you know how to dream.

[mimekiller]

A lady at the bar was a MIMEKILLER SUPERFAN and bought me a beer last night! Feeling like tom cruise over here!

[Phoebe]

WELL HELO THERE! HELL9O.
D