Lando on Lando

[Kyle]

[El Jefe]

It's a Lando movie I could potentially see, as it is lacking Mr. Williams.

Because Billie Dee Williams is a complete bag of ass.

[Phoebe]

Is that some new thing the kids are saying? As a compliment? Insult?

[El Jefe]

He's a complete and utter jackass to fans at conventions. I swear I've told these stories before.

Myself and a few friends go to a convention. One friend wants to get Billie's autograph. He's wearing a t-shirt he found online. It's a vintage black and white style picture of Lando holding a Colt 45. I think it's taken from one of the scenes in Cloud City when Lando is smiling. We pay the $25 fee to get his autograph, another $15 to get a picture taken with him, and buy a vintage Return marquee poster for another $75. We wait in line for 45 minutes, get up there, and my friend politely starts to say "Hi Mr. Williams, would you mind..."

At this point Billie has looked up. He's seen my friends shirt. He gets a REALLY pissed off look on his face. He proceeds to start yelling at the top of his lungs. "That's racist bullshit!" He keeps this up for a few more lines of yelling, and by this point, the folks at his booth have moved in and ask us to move along. More than a bit stunned, we quietly do. He's still yelling as we move down the aisle. We start to walk away, only for security to come track us down a few minutes later. They ask us what happened, and let us know that Billie called security on us, as we were "using racially inappropriate language and apparel, that we were severely disrespectful to him and his booth staff." We try to explain that we weren't, and show the shirt. Security isn't having it. So, after getting to one booth prior to the Williams interaction, having paid $30 a piece to get into the con, and now having been there for just over an hour, we're getting escorted out. The security was "nice enough" to let us go back to the booth we had purchased prints from earlier, and pick them up. (They had run out, and the artist went out to their car to get more, told us to come back in about an hour.)

We're booted, my friend is out all the money he laid down at the Billie booth, and we're now outside in Philly, trying to figure out what to do with the rest of the afternoon. We're out there for about 40 minutes or so (friends are grabbing drinks, I'm smoking about a cigarette every five minutes), and the rest of the folks are deciding where to go and grab some lunch before we end up driving the hour-plus back home. We're still outside the main con entrance. Billie and his booth crew come out the main doors. And...he spots the t-shirt again. For the next four blocks, in the middle of downtown Philly, Billie Dee Williams and folks from his booth follow behind us, pointing us out to whatever crowd is around, and screaming about "dumbass white kids and their racist bullshit!"

We literally sprint the next block, turn a corner, bolt down an alleyway, and come out a block over to duck into a nearby pub. We see the Williams crew a few times wander the block from our seats on the 2nd floor balcony.

At least the pub had a great shepard's pie.

Within the next two years, I had a lesbian couple that I was friends with get booted from the same con, after Williams leered at them and told them multiple times: "The picture would have been better on my lap." They ended up pulling away during the picture, one of the couple's cosplay outfits was ripped, and they went directly to security. Two hours later and a marathon questioning session, they're booted. My friend, DJing at an event at the same con on another year, gets booted without pay after Williams is furious that the Colt 45 song is played (at the event coordinator's request, supposedly at William's request) when Williams was walking out to greet the crowd.

Fuck Billie Dee Williams. He's a complete bag of ass. Bag of dicks. Total dickhole. Prickwad. Dipshit. Fill in whatever insult you'd like.

We also don't go to that con anymore.

[Kyle]

You're still mad that he directed Suicide Squad, aren't you?

[Mike]

That is an awesome story! Thank you!

Although all of those would have sucked immensely at the time, so I'm sorry any of you had to go through it.

I'm taking you at your word that Billie Dee is a dickhole. And while it's sad, none of it is really surprising or out of character for what little I knew about the man previously.

[El Jefe]