Sober posting

[akiva]

[Phoebe]

Oh it's really not a fun story for anyone else, trust me. No fun to be had there.

[Phoebe]

Sorry Mike, I just finished my "Jacob's ladder" shawl and there won't be drinking until some other night. Things have been going poorly here due to lots of work needing done. The shawl was a relaxing break from that but it's not quite long enough to be comfy. Grrrr.

[Phoebe]

I'm just not qualified to post in the other thread, but I am wandering through my house in darkness unable to find any of the other people who live here. Where are you? The past few weeks have gone poorly. All I can do is continue paddling my little canoe. Things in our world are so crazy, we every day edge closer to death - just... why? Can't we try something better? Would that be so bad? Come on, please.

[mimekiller]

[Phoebe]

I really just want someone to drink with and sing this song but it's not one of the options available in this life. Instead I'm laying here while the dog lays under the bed (it's a tall bed), because the kid made many, many, many unauthorized bubbles in the tub and I don't want to get up and clean them. Bright side: it will be kind of like traveling the ocean when I do.

[Phoebe]

I'm so tired that I actually feel drunk even though I have not drunk anything for a very long time. How about them apples? Or is it bananas? Are we supposed to have compared to bananas or apples? Like I said, drunk on sheer exhaustion alone! It costs nothing and the stumbling around is extremely authentic.

[Phoebe]

I never drink as a solution. That's a bad plan. You should drink when you're happy and everything is going well, and it's party time because all is solved for the evening. Tonight however, I contemplate the wisdom of making an exception to the rule. I have a driver. I have people pissing me off needlessly. I have MAGA people. I think it's just a question of beer, wine, or The Captain.

[Phoebe]

I'm glad we had this talk, as I decided to stick to my rule and not drink at all. Really think that's a bad plan. So I'm glad not to have done that. Still mad though; conditions are unchanged.

[mimekiller]

Look. You can cut my toes and fingers off one by one. I can take it. You make my mother cry and I'll become the god damn babadook

[Phoebe]

Damn, I put a bottle of wine in the fridge with akiva's name on it - actually with the name Pinot Grigio, but whatever - and I got two glasses in on my way to being able to join him in the drunk posting thread, but then I fell asleep. This is a lesson about being old and not sleeping enough. Well, I hope you're doing okay, buddy, relative to the overall bad situation.

[akiva]

[Phoebe]

Well, I'm drinking the rest straight out the bottle tonight because why wash another glass? I have a serious suggestion. This may sound crazy but I think you should go somewhere you can box or kickbox. Just really kick the crap out of something. I will find you a local place if you want.

[akiva]

I don't know; I'm not that violent. I need to find a pool and start swimming again, which gets out some physical aggression.

[Phoebe]

Yes! You totally should do that. Not just for burning off things and exercising, but being in the water is also very soothing and quiet. Gliding across water is that perfect moment of peace.

[akiva]

[Phoebe]

[akiva]

We only go to the beach occasionally; we need to fix that as the kids get older. I like swimming in the ocean, but I've never done it for exercise.

[Phoebe]

Kids don't have school tomorrow. They are going to play for five days straight while adults frantically try to finish their work. It was a very bad week last week, the week before, the week before... etc. The work is not done. Someone must stay home with the kids anyway, and someone is me. Very bad things happened at work today. STRESSFUL. I came home, sat on the couch, and was awakened without even realizing I had dozed off.

Suppertime! I wanted to stay home, exhausted. No energies. Grilled cheese, I said? Steak and broccoli, sauteed or stirfried? Anything but going out to dinner.

No, we will go out to dinner! Said the man. He LOVES to go out to dinner. He loves to spend his $$$$$$ like the WIND, really wasted on a wife who has minimal material wants and likes to cook every night and not go out. But he was determined, we shall go out, we shall! He corralled the children. They were made to get into the vehicle. Out we went!

Drinks, it was thought, would be a pleasant relaxation after the very difficult day and month and all of it. Year. Drinks were drunk, many of them. This drink, that drink. Relaxed we were, relaxed. We were very relaxed. We anticipated rolling into the home, rolling up the stairs somehow, leaping into the bed and not moving again until 6 am.

We made it up to our room. Howling noises, bellowing of our name. Where were we? Why, in our room, readying for sleep! But no. VOMITING. there was VOMITING. Can anyone fucking vomit in the toilet, or in a trash can? No. One of the kids mostly hits the can reliably and always has. The other two have a penchant for uncontrolled, projectile vomit wherever they happen to come to rest.

We bought a house full of white fucking carpet. Light. Off white? oatmeal? FUCKING WHITE. I didn't choose this shit. I would never choose this. NEVER CHOOSE THIS. Always, always, always get flat stainmaster carpet in a neutral griege. ALWAYS!!! But these people went with VERY LIGHT CARPET so when you have a projectile vomiter... he ate Chips and Salsa. Then he ate a Taco. Then more Chips and Salsa. Mexican Rice and Beans. WHAT A VOMIT IT MADE!

Suddenly what should have been a drunk posting is a very, very, very, SOBER POSTING after a solid hour of trying to pluck out vomit and steam clean vomit and disinfect vomit. Done. Done with this. DO not drink the alcoholic beverages and then have someone vomit and you are the cleaner. Nah, this doesn't work.

[Phoebe]

Really want to find out WTH with hampers but I am making something so no drinks.