Don't Yell at Your Kids.

[Kyle]

For real. Don't yell at your kids. And don't tell me, "But what if they're running into the road?" Duh. Shout at your kids to avoid immediate danger. But yelling at your kids in anger is never the right response. It's just you losing control of your temper and communicating in a terrible manner.


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However


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It's so hard not to yell at them sometimes, right? I mean, I must yell at a kid at least three times a week. Often just the "Knock it off!" but sometimes it's the whole, "So this is how you want the house to operate? We should all just hit each other like you did your brother?"

I'm trying to not do it. But it's SO hard.

[Phoebe]

Bah, I don't think "anger" and "losing control of your temper" are the same thing. I am angry right now about things I see on the floor here, but I'm in no danger of losing control of my temper over it. To me yelling is different when it's an in-your-face trying to scare you thing - it can be very bullying to yell at someone, and I don't think that's appropriate to do with kids. But yelling at people to get in here and clean up this floor, or nobody is going swimming? Yeah, I'm fine with that and don't even begin to see the problem with it.

Obviously the "yelling because nobody will hear me if I don't yell" is also not relevant, like the "yelling to avoid dangers". But what count as a danger? What counts as yelling? I don't ask these questions just to be pedantic - these are real issues that come up in our house. Like my definition of "you are in unacceptable levels of danger right now" differs radically from my husband's, and he's naturally just really effing LOUDDDDDDD and I pretty much always feel like I'm raising my voice artificially to match it.

[Mike]

[El Jefe]

I just need a clarification here. It's still okay for me to yell at other people's kids, right? Especially when they're on my lawn?

[Mike]

Or if they have been meddling and prevented you from getting away with it.

[El Jefe]

Damn kids and their dog.

[Phoebe]

If you were here, you should have taken that opportunity to yell at my kids some.

[Cazmonster]

I desperately hate summer in a tiny two-bedroom apartment with kids who don't want to go outside and don't want to be more than five feet from each other and then fight because they're on top of each other.

The urge to yell happens a lot and I need to find a way to not succumb to that urge.

[Tahlvin]

I've improved drastically, especially after I stopped taking a particular medication that I found out had a side effect that made me more prone to losing my temper. And with certain kids, it seems a good, loud shouting is required to break through to them and get their attention, after which the volume can go back to normal.