NPR Fitness Group

[Kyle]

I turned a corner yesterday. I've been going to the gym regularly for over a month and haven't missed a day in over three weeks. My goal is to make it a habit that's just part of my work week- and I'm getting pretty close to that. In fact, there's a release in working out (either aerobic or with weights) that is a good stress reliever.

Which brings me back to yesterday. I had a bad result on a minor motion with a judge that wouldn't follow a case that was on point with the case I'm handling. In laymen's terms- I had a slam dunk on the motion and the judge disagreed with me because for reasons that aren't based in law. After the hearing I was furious. Like- filled with rage furious. And on my way back to the office I kept thinking to myself, "You know what I need? To go to the gym right now and work off this rage." Needless to say, by the time I ultimately got home I'd cooled off considerably. But i was happy to have the realization that I wanted to go to the gym in a time of stress- where my reaction to stress before was, "I've got too much going on, I'm not bothering with the gym today."

[Phoebe]

Wow, that is a huge change in mindset, seriously. It's like having energy breeds more having energy. The whole "I'm too worn out/frustrated to exercise" - yeah, I feel it. But I remember feeling "worn out, mentally spent, so will exercise" and that's a great feeling. So impressive that you've gone over 21 days straight! That's past the "establish a new routine" threshold, right? Huge deal.

[Mrs.Darcs]

That's awesome Kyle. (Not so awesome about asshole judge, sorry dude)

My Cize group is starting up again on Monday, I'm so hoping I can get through the program this time. Despite ankle flare-ups I'm really excited.

[Kyle]

[Mrs.Darcs]

The problem is that my ankle is completely reconstructed and the metal implants can be very painful (as can be the significant nerve damage from the injury). I am not allowed to do high impact workouts (running isn't permitted, no burpees, no planks, no jumping jacks.) So I modify Cize and do low impact stuff, a lot of walking.l, arm work etc, when I'm not being a lazy depressed slacker. Normally the pain in minimal, achey when it rains or gets too cold, and the like.

However, a couple of weeks ago and three times since my ankle completely gave out and wouldn't support my (considerable) weight. I went to urgent care and had new films taken. Thankfully everything is where it's supposed to be and none of the pins have worked their way free. (Although hearing the radiologist say "Oh my God" very clearly from the other room when she looked at said films was amusing. ) Other than inflammation and swelling (as much as 3 inches from the normal side) when these weird events happen, they have no clue what's going on. I'm waiting for the orthopedist to get me in. I take Tylenol (as I'm nursing my options for pain relief are limited ) and ice and heat when needed.

However, your advice is great for when my own rotator cuff acts up, that's exactly what I do (mine, I did get fixed when I fucked it up).

A potassium supplement (or disgusting bananas) can also help with shin splints....or is that Charlie horses...i can't recall.

[Kyle]

Yeah- so is walking even the right thing for you? Is an elliptical an option? Or stationary bike?

Also- even if you're not walking, I think the key is to just set realistic challenges for yourself that: (1) are actually challenging; and (2) are obtainable. Reaching goals- even if they're not difficult goals, is a real motivator.

And also also- I do realize that I'm being THAT GUY who's hit a zone and is being preachy blah about it, desperately in denial that there will eventually be a terrible crash back to reality. So I apologize for that.

[Mrs.Darcs]

[Phoebe]

I love water aerobics. At my gym it's basically twenty people ages 70 - 90, and me. This makes it so much less stressful. These people do not care what condition I'm in at the pool. I haven't been to water aerobics for, like, a year! Need to get back there.

[Iantha]

Well, I'm down a pant size from a month and a half ago. Yay for me, but I hate clothes shopping, so...

[Phoebe]

That is great! Nice to have the evidence of progress even if it does mean shopping. I finally got to the point where I identified the three brands/styles of pants that fit well and now just cycle through buying them online in sales, plus whatever weird "Simply Vera" top happens to be on clearance that day. It's a pretty useful system. My friend's mom takes me to Chico's once in a while so I can get comfortable with aging or something.

Speaking of which, I am done with this bullshit. I cannot eat the number of calories I am supposed to eat for "health" without being an unhappy person, that's basically the deal in a nutshell. I love food. Food is wonderful. Including low calorie food! I like all the foods and am happy to eat "healthy" ones, but this whole "don't eat hardly any calories" business is nonsense. My body seems to agree that it needs less food, which strikes me as the ultimate form of vicious betrayal. How can you do this to me, to US? We were happy, we enjoyed cooking, we were doing just fine. Food tastes good, you asshole, start PROCESSING IT FASTER and everything will be ok again.

So I made a renewed effort to take faster walks, but really, do I even care? Maybe I can just be dumpy and lumpy and die too young from preventable illness. Maybe if I slept 11 hours a day it would feel like I'm eating more, as a proportion of the time spent awake.

[Iantha]

I still struggle with finding brands that fit me well, but Talbot's is one. So there's that.

[Mrs.Darcs]

My body: we worked out 4 whole days in a row, why aren't we skinny yet?
Brain: champagne and cake. Also, you're a dumbass.


Pheobe, I need to send you a LLR dress. Or leggings and a top, because they make even enormous current me feel confident, happy, and most importantly COMFORTABLE.

[Kyle]

Yay for working out!

[Phoebe]

My friend is doing one of those LLR sales soon, but I don't know... I'm kind of cheap when it comes to clothes, and the current uniform keeps me well-camoflaged. Today's is navy blue Lee cotton pants and the nondescript blue floral t-shirt.

Increased the walking in hopes of being able to eat normally. Counted calories for months straight and learned something important: I might rather eat and have more fat than not eat and have less fat. The cardiovascular health can be maintained whilst remaining fat. Happiness appears to require being fat, since it can't co-exist with less food. Not sure what else to do about this. Do I really care? For whom am I trying to remove the fat parts, anyway? Does it make any difference for husband? No. Why, then? I eat such healthy food, too - it's mainly veggies and fruits at this point. A person gets hungry. Food is a soother of anxiety. A few years ago I was depressed and just stopped eating, which was pretty damn effective, but this isn't a state one wants to be in. So... whatever. For now, just focused on the FITNESS part and not the food/fat part.

[Phoebe]

Lost small amount after totally abandoning effort but being too busy to eat. Downside: I'm super tired, in a different/worse way, due to the low iron/low blood oxygen problems. It is in fact vaguely like we went up to the Rockies and went hiking and now I'm dead tired at 8pm rather than midnight. Food is also starting to seem vaguely gross. I have lost motivation to cook, shop. Just eat an orange, some chips and salsa, and we're done for the day. Not sure what's up with that. Me without the desire to nosh on something is... weird. More evidence I fell into wrong universe-fold.

[Kyle]

I'm back from Cancun. There was much drinking and eating and drinking. And some eating. When I weigh in tomorrow morning, I'll figure out what the damage was.

[Kyle]

I only put on 0.4 pounds on vacation! Yay me!

[Phoebe]

That is awesome, yay! You were probably very active without even realizing it, while having fun. Best possible way!

Trying to achieve something like that here under the heading "gardening - as - exercise". It's working pretty well. My arm muscles are sore from using the hedge clipper, so at least something's going on. Then the wasps came and I had to stop.

I've reached a new place in my relationship to food - hostility and resentment. I loved food and it betrays me. Everything I put in my mouth is a fucking problem, apparently, so I am having trouble getting the proper enjoyment out of eating. I'm just so sick of struggling to lose weight when in the past it was far easier. A little diet + a little exercise meant clear results! Now it's several months of worrying about calories and worrying about being too tired to exercise enough, and all the effort appears to go nowhere. So I'm just going to garden and walk the dog and see what happens - I can't let this extra thing contribute to unhappiness.

[Iantha]

I find that my cravings are starting to change. I'll either crave fruit or intensely spicy things, like a spicy curry. I don't really crave sweets or empty snacks like chips and pretzels anymore.

[Phoebe]

That is awesome. Hoping that occurs more often here someday.