[NBR:RPST]Round 2 Losers: Mike v. Pete

[Kyle]

Here we are with the final match in Round 2 of the loser's bracket. After grousing on Twitter all night about how his throw was interpreted wrong by the referree, El Grapidoro seems unable to accept the defeat. He lodged an official complaint last night with the World RPS Congress that alleged that the Paper Dragon was actually wiretapping his phones to figure out his strategy. Earlier this morning, when this reporter asked if he had any evidence of wiretapping to support such an outrageous accusation, El Grapidoro said, and I quote, "I'll evidence my fist into your nose if you don't shut up, nerd!" As he enters the ring, El Grapidoro seems to be in no better mood.

With the completely opposite demeanor, we see Zbungrub's Revenge-- this tournament's oldest competitor-- entering the ring with the assistance of his son (and aspiring future RPS champion) Rock Hard and the Paperdoos. What a beautiful moment. Knowing that this might be the final match of his career, Zbungrub's Revenge has brought his son with him. Look at how he beams down on his boy! Win or lose, there can be no question that this man has won at life! Good for you Zbungrub's Revenge!

Gentlemen! Move to the middle of the ring. Give the ceremonial wink and.... LET'S THROW FINGERS!

[Mike]

Oh, this is funny! You think bringing your ugly-ass kid with you is gonna make me show mercy? Then you don't know... THE STAPLER!

What do you want first, nerd... the beatdown... or the noogies? Cuz trust me, you got both coming to ya!

[Kyle]

Emotions are running high as these two competitors are quite literally fighting to continue in this tournament! El Grapidor is pacing around like an angry tiger, looking for... OH! False alarm! It looked like he was going to throw fingers, but instead he just lurched, chest first at Zbungrub's Revenge in the universal sign for "Come at me, bro!" For his part, Zbungrub's Revenge seems to be keeping his cool. He's rubbing his hands together- either warming them up, or calling on the old gods of the World RPS Congress to come to his aid. And now, El Grapidoro... OH NO! SPANK MY THIGHS AND CALL ME THURSDAY! El Grapidoro has climbed the ropes! He climbed them, perched on top! Zbungrub's Revenge looks confused! He's just standing there, staring up at the aggressive and heaving El Grapidoro! HAVE MERCY, HE'S JUMPING! El Grapidoro is jumping from the top rope to Zbungrub's Revenge! Oh the humanity of it! And... what's that? He's leading his pounce with Rock! Someone needs to step in and stop this before Zbungrub's Revenge gets... BREEZY GREENSLEEVES! Zbungrub's Revenge puts out his hand! It's paper! For the love of all that is holy in this world! Zbungrub's Revenge threw paper! He catches El Grapidoro's rock in his hand and flips him to the ground flat on his back! OH MY! El Grapidoro appears to have seriously injured himself! He's convulsing! And it's all over folks! As the medics swarm El Grapidoro, Zbungrub's Revenge walks slowly back to his corner where...

...oh my goodness... I told myself I wasn't going to do this this year... He's gone to his corner and he's hugging his son. Folks, what a tender moment this... this is. This reporter needs to... excuse me... it's just so sweet. Congratulations to Zbungrub's Revenge!

[Mike]

I see what you did there. I hope you're proud of yourself, Kyle. You wanted me out; you got me out. You tell the rest of them whatever you need to to humiliate me. Go ahead. Cuz I'm fuckin' done with this! I'm out! You can beg all you fuckin' want, but you're gonna have to find some way to finish this tournament without... El Grapidoro!

[Phoebe]

Staplers are girls, so...

[Kyle]

[Mike]

Yeah, of course.

[Tahlvin]

Oh, too bad, so sad, buh-bye El Grope-a-dora! See you next year!

Uh, hey, can you stick around and give me a ride home still? I brought gas money, like you asked.

[Kyle]

[Phoebe]

It's lucky that the police arrived so quickly on the scene to assist her! Looks like justice is finally catching up with old Gropidora.