Dream Journal

[Elle]

The most memorable dream I've had in the past few years turned out to

Anyway, here's your new dream journal. I dreamed my daughter's phone alarm was going off repeatedly at 4 am. This dream also turned out to be real!

[TheMaster]

I had a dream last night about The Jeweled Heart. I was so excited to wake up this morning I woke before my alarm. I had no idea I would nerd out this much.

[Elle]

I dreamed that I went on vacation but couldn't get my family organized well enough to do anything, so I was miserable. Then as I walked the beach alone, I realized we were at the wrong hotel but had not cancelled our reservations at the other one, so had probably wasted hundreds of dollars. I screamed in frustration and then was Sooooo happy to wake up!

[Elle]

I slept for a full eight hours, always dangerous for stirring up REM sleep, and dreamed at one point that I was in a plane that had some sort of crash-incident that left everyone alive but shaken, and then we all had to board the connecting flight, but the people complained bitterly about having to get on a plane again right after their harrowing experience, so they decided to drive the plane straight down the interstate. Our destination was Kansas City's airport and I was kind of pissed because it was going to be a long drive in a hot airplane down the interstate. I think I had too many blankets on.

Then I dreamed something else upsetting and I can't remember what it was, but not about planes.

[Elle]

As the rocks beneath the not-so-fair state of Oklahoma shifted, and my current dog ran away from my bedside and leapt straight into bed with my 5 year old for comfort, I drifted to sleep and dreamed I went into a room and suddenly found our former dog, the one who had passed away. Because I hadn't seen her for a year and a half or whatever, she looked different: as if she had been a human with growing head-hair rather than a dog with normal dog-fur, all of her hair had grown about three inches longer and she looked like a very furry, sheepdog-esque version of herself! I was like, wow, no WONDER, because all this time we had lost her and didn't know where she was, and nobody was available to trim her hair! I immediately set about finding scissors or clippers or something so I could give her a hair cut and grooming. I was SO happy to have her back - it was one of those terrible situations where your soul feels COMPLETE relief at having been wrong about its grief, and the absent beloved is no longer absent, and then you wake up and realize, no, the absent remains absent and your dog is not coming back from the grave. But you do have a new puppy. I am totally freaked out because he somehow found and ate a chicken bone and now I'm afraid to go to sleep in case he isn't digesting it easily. I am trying to remind myself that the other dog was always devouring chicken bones whenever we failed to completely secure them with three layers of airtight protection, and she was always just fine, but he's smaller than she was and I am not going to feel okay until Monday and/or he has several normal potties, whichever comes first. He's laying here dreaming a dog dream that involves moving his paws as if running.

[Elle]

I dreamed I was driving somewhere very urgently but it was as if my headlights were totally ineffective, so I was struggling to see ahead into the darkness, and then I came upon a giant row of trashcans strung across the major street closest to my house, and I tried to stop but ended up nudging a few of them over. The fact that all these black cans full of garbage were blocking my way forward struck me as DEEPLY OMINOUS and I woke up in a cold sweat, terrified.

[Elle]

Terrible nightmares all night related to real life realization that Mr. Trump actually is full-stop alt-right candidate and that my attempt to be committed to free speech is probably functioning to normalize those views. So for instance, dreamed that I gave my office to real life guy I know who is serious white supremacist and then had various problems in public corridors ranging from trying to walk dog around unpleasant people to being caught trying to hide and eat my lunch in an art gallery, as I didn't want to eat in my office after that. Followed by nightmares related to question of what we may and/or must do when true enemies of truth and democracy take action. Is it a dangerous subversion to think one can resist using tools beyond those true and democratic ones, or is it foolishness to think those tools suffice to preserve themselves from serious threats? Actual sweaty night terror over all this, great.

[Elle]

Dreamed my kids and I were cavorting through meadows filled with soft, fluffy alpacas, feeding them carrots. Ha ha THIS REALLY HAPPENED!

[Elle]

Had a very bad insect-kingdom dream. Can we please go back to the alpaca dreams?

[Eliahad]

I only got 50 minutes of sleep last night, but for reasons unknown to me, my brain decided, in the moments before waking cause me great distress.

Mike, Pat and I were walking through a parking lot, and there was Tim Gunn standing beside a large moving truck with the name Marcus on the side. He says, in that amiable way of his, "okay, designers! Let's all get ready to go to NieVAN Marcus." and then he begins laughing at his little joke.

I woke up angry.

[Cazmonster]

You tell that brain who the boss is. Feed it caffeine and alcohol until it submits to your will!

[Elle]

Did anyone have the black helicopter dream as a child? When I was young, like maybe 8-10, I had the black helicopter dream that apparently a lot of people my generation have. (Obviously there was the "nuclear war" dream too - apparently another generationally shared delight.) But this one was the black helicopter with unspecified military force spilling out into the side yard, very realistic. You wake up thinking it happened. Like Men-in-Black, maybe I was erased. I remember standing there blankly trying to figure it out as they ran out to do whatever they had come to the neighborhood to do, and then they went back as quickly as they had come. One of them was nice to me - probably the one that erased the memory, y'know.

[Elle]

I lived in a very densely populated ski-resort area; it was up in the mountains and therefore wasn't a very big town, but densely spaced. We had a house that sat upon the third and fourth stories of a taller building that had some other garage and parking spaces below us. A decorative wooden railing was affixed to the side of this building. While looking outside to see whether my daughter's school bus was on the way up the street, I happened to notice a large group of tourists who had decided it would be a good idea to crawl across the wooden railing as a kind of humorous sport or dare. I opened the window and yelled at the people that they were going to fall and get hurt, and that it was an incredibly stupid idea because the railing could not support their weight, and certainly not all of their weight at the same time. It was merely a decorative railing - it had no other such purpose. I spotted the school bus and ran to help my daughter get prepared to meet it. While I was doing this I heard screams from outside and ran back to discover that one of the women climbers had fallen and was laying unconscious on the snowy sidewalk the low. I yelled disgustedly at the rest of the climbers that I had told them they were going to get hurt and now look what had happened! I asked if anyone had called for help or was going to help her but heard no reply, so I went back inside the house to grab the phone. While I was doing this, a woman who was one of the climbers, and a friend of the fallen woman, became enraged that I had yelled at them, blaming them for the fall, and burst through the open window to my house. She attacked me while screaming about her friend and my terrible insensitivity. I was horrified and attempted to fight her off. I knew I could do this effectively, but in that terrible dreamstate way I could only prevent her from landing blows on me and I couldn't manage to strike her myself. My dad was there and he called the police and I could hear him talking to them on the phone about a crazy intruder in our home. I became afraid that the crazy woman might hurt my dad, when she was joined by another friend of hers who began attacking me as well. I fought both of them off very effectively, at which juncture my other daughter came into the room and asked me if I wanted her to help take them out. No I said it would be enough if they would just leave. My daughter is much taller now than I am and apparently looks fierce to dream people, because the two women were at that point intimidated into leaving the house willingly. Wake.

[Elle]

I had one of the best dreams EVER last night. I was awakened by my child at 5 am for reasons not worth mentioning, but I was annoyed and wanted to grab that last hour of sleep if possible. My brain seemed to think I needed a reward for being cut off at 5 am because it launched me into the TIE fighter of Dark Vaguer himself! I was Dark, in some kind of super-souped up TIE fighter. Not sure who I was chasing but I was flying up and down and all around shooting at things. I was destroying all of them. I was feeling all kinds of sensations exactly as if I were riding some sort of TIE fighter roller coaster, and they were all positive sensations - the swoops and stomach drops and happy excitement! It wasn't really a lucid dream because I wasn't aware that I was dreaming, yet I was somehow more "awake" within the dream and able to fully control the TIE fighter in a way that would not normally be possible in a dream, where usually you're along for the ride and don't have that sensation of your own decisions completely determining what happens next. But I was flying, navigating, shooting, and generally kicking ass in full Dark Vaguer style. It was awesome.

NOTE: after writing this I took a sip of my coffee and literally poured it all over my face and shirt by accident. Whatever, the dream was worth it.

[Phoebe]

Haven't had a memorable dream for a while. Last night my kid did something naughty that could have gotten him hurt and scared me to the point where I gave up on the extra couple hours of work I should have been staying up to do, and simply collapsed in tears and went to sleep. It was one of those "even the well of anxiety that normally powers ocd is so overtapped that you cannot respond" moments. During the night I dreamed that I woke up in the wee hours, let the dog out, did some dishes, and sat down to do some work, as is my wont normally. This was all totally realistic. I found an email from my husband, who has irl been gone for a while for work. Surprisingly, it was this very long and romantic email full of detailed reflections on this and that and ending with how excited he was to see me again tomorrow. I was like, wow, nice email. I felt so happy - I was really surprised by this and felt a great and unusual sense of contentment. But then something weird started poking at the back of my brain when I closed the email. The name/address in the inbox was not my husband's. Yet I was pretty sure it was an email from my husband. Part of my brain was insisting, something is wrong with this picture. You are not awake. This is not your husband. Something is wrong. But the other part of my brain was like, no, this is totally as it should be and I will prove it! I got on my phone and did some sort of skypey/hangout thing that I never actually do irl though I suppose the phone is capable of it, and had a little videoconference with my "husband". It was definitely NOT my husband, yet I was convinced in the dream that I was indeed married to this person, who rattled on some more in a very pleasant fashion about what he had been up to lately and how pleased he was to come back home tomorrow and see me and also his stepkids. What? come again? your WHATS?!

At this juncture the other part of the brain starts shouting at itself: you are not awake! This is not real. Wake up! Try again! While the rest of the brain responds, no, this is real life and I am awake, yet it is all very surprising, isn't it? Finally the angry half of the brain manages to wake up the other half. I wake! I realize I'm in my comfy bed and flannel sheets. Husband is still on his business trip. All is well. I roll over and this time pull out my phone. I'll PROVE that the very realistic dream was not, in fact, real and was a dream, by opening my phone and showing myself that there is no such email from this person who is definitely not my husband! What an absurd idea - the very idea that I would have such an email! Ha ha ha... until, there it is again. Email from that same person, who is now apparently the new husband and "stepdad" (Jesus H Christ! my brain exclaims in shock, repeatedly). I immediately call him up. Of course you're upset and confused, wife, he reassures me pleasantly. You were so worried about your son - you know, my stepson - who did this bad thing he shouldn't have done, and it stressed you out, so you're having a nightmare. But I'll be home soon and I'll talk to him in the calm and rational manner you so like me for, and everything is going to be okay. Whew, great! I say in relief. I'm so looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. Meanwhile, the other half of the brain is now screaming hysterically: NO! This is an alternate timeline. This is NOT the right one. Get out of your dreamstate and drop back into the appropriate section of the multiverse where you are actually living! You're in danger. Stop it right now!

I wake up, luckily. Wow, that was a crazy dream! Here's my son, right here next to me, safe and sound, snuggled in asleep. I'm awake and I'll just sit here and think about the fact that I'm awake, not dreaming, and everything is ok. Of course I don't have an email from this guy who certainly would not be emailing me such an email... I will just PROVE it by opening up my phone right here on the nightstand and scrolling down and... oh. Dream repeats itself. This happened maybe a dozen times all night until I woke in a cold sweat at 6 am. W. T. F.

[Phoebe]

This is the type of shit that gives me the existential angst. Exactly one year ago I had this dream, and only now, a year later, do I realize that I was dreaming of the specific real life dog I have today. I remember its face distinctly and the bird is actually a real toy this dog has, which is not a bluejay but is supposed to be a large wood-duck.

"A large, threatening bird was trapped in the house. I was trying to get rid of it with a tennis racket (it was bigger than the tennis racket), but I realized it was a quite beautiful bird. It was in fact a bluejay! (I know why I dreamed this, because I had just been remarking to my child about the lack of bluejays in our area, while the house where I grew up was absolutely THICK with them and they would drive off other types of birds who might be in the birdbath.) Bluejays were so rare nowadays, I thought to myself, I couldn't possibly do anything that would harm this bluejay. Yet it had to leave the house. Then my dog got involved and I had real problems! This was also odd because it wasn't 'really' my dog in waking life. It was a dream dog. It was black and maybe had a few markings. Looked like a lab/border collie cross of some sort. Sounds likely enough. The dog was going to dispatch the giant bird, but I was trying to sort of shove the dog aside with my leg, and its wagging tail was whapping me as it jumped about trying to get the bird, and the bird had its large-taloned foot wrapped around my arm, which was painfully stabby (I blame the REAL cat for this), and I couldn't get the bird loose without either hurting my arm or letting the dog have an attack of opportunity. It was a bad deal, very frustrating struggle."

[Phoebe]

It was a terrible, terrible night. I'm sick and could barely breathe, woke up repeatedly with a mouth of desert sands. Husband too slept on back with mouth open and the entire room was fogged in a stinky cloud. UGH! During this terrible night of feverish head cold I dreamed many bad dreams, and among them was one where I was pissed at my husband about something (it was one of those "usual" kinds of things, like being pissed that people are sitting around watching TV at their leisure and not solving anything, while I have terrible work crises to attend to) and he was like, bah, fuck it, I'm out! What? Yeah, he was OUT-out, done, kaput, had already removed his money and acquired a new girlfriend, who turned out to be MARLA MAPLES! Except a young version, like she hadn't aged. At first husband was going to remain in our home because he was better able to pay the mortgage and we didn't want the kids to be uprooted, so I bought another small house in our neighborhood. I had just closed on it when I discovered that MARLA didn't want to live in our old house and found it ugly, and the husband strangely agreed with her, so off they went to some fancy other neighborhood, selling my beloved house off after it was too late for me to try to stay there with the kids! I started screaming and screaming these anguished screams of frustration and woke up actually screaming (or rather, trying and failing to scream due to my parched throat - it was like the croaks of a dying bird).

[Phoebe]

And btw in case it's not obvious, this dream had nothing to do with my husband but everything to do with fear of the near future. Each day is like a carnival of fresh anxiety to the point that I have to ignore the news, along with the 400 other work problems that need to be ignored just to get some actual work done. Actual work is being sharply eroded by nonsense.

[Phoebe]

1. Snake was loose somewhere in the house. Everyone accepted this as normal. They seek warmth... like your bed! I couldn't sleep. Thought I was actually awake and unable to fall asleep; woke at 1 in a hot sweat but absolutely Delighted to discover No Snake Expected!

2. Had to find pathway along the rocky shore for escape from various threats.

3. Had to find pathway through the complex architecture of old fashioned dormitory, for escape from various threats.

[Phoebe]

I keep having dreams about large Siamese cats. Sometimes I'm getting one for my daughter. Sometimes one is just here in the house. Sometimes I AM one, being petted by my husband (not in that way! just normally) or snuggled onto the couch next to his leg, and sometimes I AM one and I'm fighting with some bitchy cat clearly representing people I work with. Makes sense that this is how I resolve my anxiety over work - by turning everyone into cats and letting us battle it out. I am a really big fat Siamese cat and I win the thing, clearly.