Holiday Things

[Bluedevyl]

I will just briefly defend the cause of the standing rib roast. If you can find a solid 3 or 4 bone roast with the bones still on, studding the standing edge with garlic cloves, a healthy dose of kosher salt and cracked pepper, and some rosemary, you'll get a terrific holiday meal that presents fantastically. Not that I'm not a fan of the tenderloin. It's a fine cut. I just like the presentation (and the opportunity to make Yorkshire puddings) that the standing rib roast offers.

One note on the tenderloins. If you're near a Costco or other wholesale club, check there for them. They're normally marked "PSMO" or "Pismo" which is an abbreviation for Peeled, Side Meat On. These are AWESOME, as they're WAY cheaper than you'll generally find whole tenderloins for and only require a small amount of butchery to set in order. If you go this route, make sure you grab the ones labeled Side Meat On, not Side Meat Off. The SM Off will cost about 5 bucks more per pound, you still have the work to do and don't get the awesome scraps for jerky or stew or whatever you like.

[Phoebe]

I totally want to make one of those standing roasts for the overall wow/awesome factor. I'm thinking I should try that for a dinner party where you actually pull it out of the oven while people are standing around watching you carve it up, and then you all sit down and eat it. For Christmas the thing I'm getting is indeed a Pismo. It is cheaper, as you say, and I don't mind having to carve it a bit. I love the fact that it is referred to as a Pismo and I had NO IDEA what that was an abbreviation for until you just said so!

[Phoebe]

Those who need tools: the Sears brands have gone to shit. Craftsman is not what it once was. FIL swears by his Ryobis and husband has had Bosch now for a few years with zero trouble. Craftsman was a constant headache due to surprise failures.

[Tahlvin]

Yes, sad to see how much Sears has gone downhill over the last 5-10 years, really. And taking some of it's iconic brands (Craftsman, Kenmore, etc.) with them. Used to shop there quite a bit, but now we hardly set foot in it, unless it's to walk through it to get between the parking lot and the mall (because the largest source of open parking spaces at the mall is outside the Sears store now).

[Phoebe]

Exactly so. I used to buy house paint there, garage door opener, everything. They seem to be the big losers in competition with the big box home improvement stores like Home Depot and Lowe's, but I'm here to tell you that the sixth circle of hell involves dealing with these "home improvement" places on any type of custom or complex order. Stab yourself in the eye before dealing with them, seriously. You think it's your local store, maybe, but no, it's the whole thing.

[Cazmonster]

Off to the store for the last time before the holiday bake-a-thon (bake-a-ton?)

I have on the list the following:

Chocolate XXL Pretzel Crack x2 - cause my guys at work deserve the goodness
ATK Blue Ribbon Fudge x2
ATK Cherry Chocolate Cream Scones x3
Gingerbread Mini Loaves with Cream Cheese Frosting
Toffee Shortbread Bites

The Holiday Cheer is going to flow!

[Cazmonster]

Fudge - DONE!
Crack - DONE!

[Phoebe]

Awesome. I still have your chocolate pretzel recipe and am planning to make some of that on Friday. Trying to think of good stuff I can make and throw in the fridge so as to save time on the weekend. Friday is Cookie Day, so Thurs pm is cookie dough night. Probably a few pumpkin and cranberry breads while we're using the oven. That reminds me I want to make homemade cranberries because apparently this is not done in my husband's family and they have no idea what's being missed. I want to do a whole turkey with stuffing for them someday so they can see the light of sausage and celery stuffing, but have not yet had time for that.

[Cazmonster]

Good luck! Also, I discovered an important as hell thing as I was making fudge yesterday. It will keep frozen for THREE MONTHS! I can make fudge at the beginning of November and have it still be perfect for Christmas giving. This is only super useful now that I have a chest freezer.

[Cazmonster]

Gingerbread - Double batch - done!
Cherry chocolate scones - Triple batch - done!

And if the toffee shortbread bites weren't the babies-breath to my cookie arrangement, I would be wrapping up now.

[Phoebe]

Oh my God the babies breath to your cookie arrangement!!! You are speaking my language, and so are the cherry chocolate scones.

[Phoebe]

Cookies made: zero.
Other things made: 9001.
Morals repeated, with emphasis, from holiday 2015 to 2016: get tha fuck outta my kitchen. I mean it. Unless you are requested to cook another person's food, why the fuck would you ever impose yourself to do such a thing? Wow, yeah, it seems like I'm cooking a lot of stuff at once. Guess what? I have done before many times, very successfully, and will do right now, but if you block me out of my own kitchen, I can't cook At All. If you start putting things out to serve before I am ready to serve them, you are fucking up my whole meal. Seriously, it boggles the mind.

Also, the Wise Plumber says:
"Garbage disposals are basically ornamental."
They exist only to process bits that sneak by the normal traps. When you see the traps there, why move them? I honestly want to grasp that one piece of human psychological perversity. What happens inside the mind that says, "Yes, I wish to remove those traps from the other person's sink drain, and moreover, I shall."

[Mike]

The only proper way to impose yourself on someone else's kitchen:

A) Say, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

B) Do exactly (and only) what they tell you to do.

[Stan]

[Phoebe]