This Happened

[Mike]

I have trouble picturing your mom wearing boxers.

[Phoebe]

They are flattering to the hind quarters.

[Cazmonster]

Someone got rekt on reddit today:

REKT

☐ Not REKT
☑ REKT
☑ Really Rekt
☑ REKTangle
☑ SHREKT
☑ Homo EREKTus
☑ REKT-it Ralph
☑ Total REKTall
☑ The Lord of the REKT
☑ The Usual SusREKTs
☑ North by NorthREKT
☑ REKT to the Future
☑ Once Upon a Time in the REKT
☑ Full mast erektion
☑ Rektum
☑ Resurrekt
☑ CorRekt
☑ IndiRekt
☑ Tyrannosaurus Rekt
☑ Cash4Rekt.com
☑ Grapes of Rekt
☑ Ship Rekt
☑ Rekt markes the spot
☑ Caught rekt handed
☑ The Rekt Side Story
☑ Singin' In The Rekt
☑ Painting The Roses Rekt
☑ Rekt Van Winkle
☑ Parks and Rekt
☑ Lord of the Rekts: The Reking of the King
☑ Star Trekt
☑ The Rekt Prince of Bel-Air
☑ A Game of Rekt
☑ Rektflix
☑ Rekt it like it's hot
☑ RektBox 360
☑ The Rekt-men
☑ School Of Rekt
☑ I am Fire, I am Rekt
☑ Rekt and Roll
☑ Professor Rekt
☑ Catcher in the Rekt
☑ Rekt-22
☑ Harry Potter: The Half-Rekt Prince
☑ Great Rektspectations
☑ Paper, Scissors, Rekt
☑ RektCraft
☑ Grand Rekt Auto V
☑ Call of Rekt: Modern Reking 2
☑ Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Rekt
☑ Rekt It Ralph
☑ Left 4 Rekt
☑ www.rekkit.com
☑ Pokemon: Fire Rekt
☑ The Shawshank Rektemption
☑ The Rektfather
☑ The Rekt Knight
☑ Fiddler on the Rekt
☑ The Rekt Files
☑ The Good, the Bad, and The Rekt
☑ Forrekt Gump
☑ The Silence of the Rekts
☑ The Green Rekt
☑ Gladirekt
☑ Spirekted Away
☑ Terminator 2: Rektment Day
☑ The Rekt Knight Rises
☑ The Rekt King
☑ REKT-E
☑ Citizen Rekt
☑ Requiem for a Rekt
☑ REKT TO REKT ass to ass
☑ Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Rekt
☑ Braverekt
☑ Batrekt Begins
☑ 2001: A Rekt Odyssey
☑ The Wolf of Rekt Street
☑ Rekt's Labyrinth
☑ 12 Years a Rekt
☑ Gravirekt
☑ Finding Rekt
☑ The Arekters
☑ There Will Be Rekt
☑ Christopher Rektellston
☑ Hachi: A Rekt Tale
☑ The Rekt Ultimatum
☑ Shrekt
☑ Rektal Exam
☑ Rektium for a Dream
☑ Erektile Dysfunction
☑ TouREKTts syndrome
☑ LawREKT of Arabia
☑ 50 shades of rekt
☑ www.Trekt.tv
☑ Milo Rektopoulos

[Phoebe]

Surprised they didn't have Arektted Development, Out of Afrekta, or Romeo and Julirekt.

But lots of good ones on the list. Still, I feel we could do better here...

[Phoebe]

Went to worst restaurant ever. Whole experience was like those shows where they force ocd people to kiss toilets. Practically bathed in hand sanitizer afterward. Fortune in fortune cookie was about overcoming fear. Also have had to use repulsive public restrooms four times today. 4.

[Cazmonster]

My newest coworker just screwed a customer and my voice on call because he can't write English well in tickets. This is no beuno for this continued career.

Like the zombies say "Send More Bodies!"

[Phoebe]

People the things happening at work I cannot talk about would fill a short novel at least and it is wrecking my sleep. Stresssssssss. Not being able to discuss means no outlet for it all.

Then a series of things happened this evening to put that sweet layer of icing on the shit cake. Encounters with a very bad public restroom, hours of my time wasted over nonsense, a minor medical crisis in public causing all sorts of difficulties, and things at work just get worse and worse with each passing moment.

[Phoebe]

Sat down to do a few hours' worth of work. Was immediately diverted by other work crises to layer on top of the twenty that are already sitting here. Deep questions about why I even have a job; I could be a SAHM. Very tempting.

[Cazmonster]

10:16:16 PM Kathryn
The engineer said she has contacted Gordo earlier.

If you can contact Gordo?

10:16:42 PM Me
That is not what we're going to do.

You get the engineer to talk to me. Gordo got blocked because I don't think he could get associated with this piece of gear.

Don't fuck with Engineers. We anger easily.

[Phoebe]

This amuses me for no good reason. Ohhhhhh my work life is crazeeee.

[Zen]

So, as I mentioned over in the "Nerd Love" section, I published my first novel in paperback using the beta program through Kindle Direct Publishing... Once I had everything submitted, I looked for where to get copies "at cost" as the author and couldn't find anything... So I sent them a message asking if I was missing something. Well, it turns out that they aren't offering that service yet, but they plan on offering it eventually. Perhaps I should have used the normal Amazon Createspace to make my paperback instead... then I could have ordered author copies and "galley proofs" prior to publication... live and learn...

Since I had already gone to the trouble of doing it, I figured it isn't that big of a deal since they plan to offer them some day, so I ordered three (3) books at retail. (I realized after I sent the order that I did this the stupid way. I should have dropped the price to the rock bottom price I can offer it at, purchased the books, then put the price back to the normal price that I want it at, which still has a lower profit point than the Kindle version, sadly enough, even though it is 2.5x the price...) Being the slightly obsessive monitor-er of sales figures that I have become, I kept checking the sales dashboard. (Mind you I knew one person who had indicated that they may very well purchase one of the paperback copies who I had sent a link to earlier in the day BEFORE I sent my order in.) The paperback sales don't show up until they SHIP, since they are Print-On-Demand, so there is about a 1 day delay by nature. So, a day after I ordered, there was a spike on the sales dashboard for paperback sales: of ONE book!

I waited to see if there was some sort of extra delay, since I had placed my order really late in the day, even though I had gotten the shipping notification. The next day, when there was still only one paperback sale, I went to the forum to see if there was anything about paperback royalties that would explain this. I found another person complaining about their own purchase not showing up in the paperback royalties in the forum. Someone replied to them that their OWN purchase most likely didn't qualify for royalties. This somewhat confused me, since I had downloaded the book through Kindle Unlimited and was pretty sure that my page reads when I checked the book had counted for page reads toward the "Kindle Edition Normalized Page Count" for the book, but I replied that I had a hunch that might be the case since had only one sale showing up on my dashboard and I thought someone else might have bought my book and I purchased multiple copies myself.

However, someone else replied that they got royalties for multiple purchases of their book with no problem and it was probably just a delay, so i went to the contact page and asked them about it.

The reply was kind of a good-news/bad-news situation. The good news, I SHOULD have gotten credit for all three sales and they don't know why MY purchase only was credited as one book... The bad news... This implies that nobody else has bought the paperback...

The other bad news... or at least mediocre news... I got the books today and I am less than thrilled with the cover. Although I had the art going beyond the bleed line, on the "cover creator" there is a black edge on the right side of the cover. I may see if I can redo the cover without having to unpublish and republish the book, which would mean getting a new ISBN number. (Not that I care, since they give me the ISBN number for free, but I'd have to change it in the inside of the book as well and update the text...) Hopefully I can update the cover without totally republishing, but I think I may have to scrap it. If that's the case, I may switch to Createspace entirely so I can get Galley proofs and use these three for Goodreads Giveaways. (It won't change the story, after all.)

[Phoebe]

All of that sounds most unpleasantly hassling!!!

[Phoebe]

I want to crawl in a hole and not come out again until Dec. 24, when everything for work, home, and in between shall have been magically accomplished. I am so freaked out about all the stuff I have to do in the next two weeks that I have been grinding my teeth in this horrible way, to the point that I'm ibuprofened to the gills just to function. I'm thinking of going to the drugstore for some kind of sports mouth guard, for real, that is how bad it is. There is no ONE thing that is a tragedy; it's more like 4938590287523875609867 semi-serious problems, problems that at least require significant serious effort, all at once.

[Phoebe]

And now we're out of coffee.

[akiva]

[Phoebe]

I do have instant decaf on hand for this emergency! That used to be my go-to but I started drinking caffeine as much as possible.

[akiva]

[Phoebe]

I have recently made friends with it too - yes, great friend!

The other news worthy of report is that Bob Ross shows are now available on Amazon TV and my little kids watch it in a state of full hypnosis. This is something most kids could benefit from, if they are going to look at a screen at all.

[Tahlvin]

[Phoebe]

Dang if my name was Rob Ross I'd have it legally changed to Bob Ross! By flak I assume you mean small woodland creatures following him around all day, and women begging for his love.