This Happened

[Cazmonster]

This happened in Australia recently...

[Elle]

I still don't get it. Yeah, whatever that is on her shirt bugs me too. It's a mess. But are we supposed to be looking at the sheep in the background or whatever those are?

[Eliahad]

It would make more sense if the spider was making duck lips, I think. I mean, then we /know/ it's the focal point of the picture and not this human standing next to it...except the human isn't even really the focal point. So I think the spider should work on its composition skills.

[Elle]

I don't think that thing on her shirt is a spider. More like a weird wasp or fly or something? What do you think all that tenting material is doing in the background? Like do they keep nets over the tops of their sheep? I wonder why... maybe there are dangerous birds in Australia that can fly off with sheep? Maybe the nets keep the kangaroos from jumping in to steal the sheeps' food?

[Tahlvin]

So my daughter swam competitively for about 8 years. Her freshman year in high school, she swam on the school team, but was burning out and losing interest, so she stopped swimming at the end of the season. After almost two years off, she decided to join the team this year for her junior year, making the decision the day before the team's first meet so she was almost a month behind on training compared to the other girls.

Over the season, she did pretty well getting back into her old form. Her favorite event was the 500 free, and her best time a couple years ago was 5:40. She always had a goal of getting a 5:30, but burned out before ever reaching that goal. By the time of the conference meet last weekend, she had her time down to 5:42, so only 2 seconds off her personal best. Well, yesterday was the sectional meet, and she ended up swimming it in 5:28! She placed 18th overall in one of the most competitive sectionals in the entire state, against some swimmers that compete at the national level.

[Elle]

Yay, that is awesome!!!

[Ronster]

[Elle]

I would love to tell you the weird stories of my life but cannot. There are stories though.

[Ronster]

There are forest fires in other parts of the state, but we have smoke clouds for miles upon miles of the interstate and the surrounding towns thanks to the wind shifts. We have not had any rain in our area since August...even our dust has dust.

Meanwhile we are trying to conserve water as best we can. Have not washed a car in 3 months. With my kids I am limiting them to a shower/day which is a 50% cut for my youngest, the runner. If she does a run I am cool with it, but they got into the habit of showers to evade chores then naps following showers, etc.

We are getting water from a pool to water trees and plants to keep them alive. I think our holly tree is dead...Life on hot mars sucks, but at least there's clean country air,...wait, I mean smoke to breathe.

Monday is SUPER MOON, though!!!!

[Elle]

We have Holly bushes, not trees, and thank you for reminding me I need more of them! Nobody should be without Holly.

[Elle]

The sheer mischief I have managed to get up today is almost indescribable and I wish so badly I could tell you and other people about it but I cannot.

[Cazmonster]

Mischief? Yes! It is high time for pranks and mischief.

Where are my whoopie cushions?

[Elle]

You guys, I worry that maybe I am the sociopath I don't like encountering in others. Except I really like people and want them to be happy! I find it way too easy to put on a sheep suit and function for my own amusement, that's all. I wandered through an enemy camp, like a spy.

Other things that happened: Buffy told me I am not allowed to sing along to Heathens on the radio because I sing out of tune and "like a crow".

However, Chloe and Jim were dueling with their lightsabers (until Jim was smacked hard in the face and decisively abandoned the combat) and they decided the only creature powerful enough to fight against Dark Vaguer was in fact Mama, so one of them pretended to be me, and they fought over who would get to do this. If nothing else goes right, you know, that's major.

I purchased an ottoman that is about 6" too high and a foot too wide, in case anyone wants to get an ottoman I can't exactly mail back for cheap. Now it sits uselessly at the foot of my bed, the wrong height for anything, really.

I have been trying to watch the same movie for about 10 days and cannot get it done, so everyone is pissed off because we can't get the next netflix thing; nobody believes me when I say that I never get a chance to lay around doing nothing, and this right here is the proof.

The dog became afraid of me last night for reasons unknown; he wouldn't come out from under the table until I bribed him with bacon. Best guess: I yelled at the kids who came into the house with dog poop on their shoes, as I was scampering about with the Lysol in a quite agitated humor, and the dog is smart enough to figure out that the word "dog" played into this drama, so he became afraid.

Other Happenings:
Until today I did not know that Charlotte Bronte wrote poems.

[Phoebe]

Morning from hell; work situation in total shambles on multiple levels at once; 2 kids are sick; husband's work situation terrible and about to become epic, legendary shit (which is saying something because the norm is very bad) in the entire month before Christmas. Dog is stir crazy and I can't help him. Need sleep desperately. Entire nation is collapsing into straight-up Nazi madness around us. I want to go hide in a dark closet until everything is ok.

[Mike]

[Phoebe]

ARE WE PLAYING TONIGHT?????

[Phoebe]

My Pinterest account is in "safe mode" due to "suspicious activity". The activity in question, unless unbeknownst to me someone really wants to fuck with my meaningless pictures of furniture and recipes, involved posting some pictures of things I might buy for my kid's room. Apparent the switch in expected aesthetic was too radical even for pinterest. The sudden appearance of colors, after months of neutrals imposed on me by necessity! SUSPICIOUS!

By the way, Pinterest was up until this point by far the best possible social media creation. You work alone, uninterrrupted by anyone else unless you choose to be. You have a place to organize random ideas about your home, projects, cooking, garden, etc. You can find all sorts of interesting inspirational clippings about the same things. You NEVER know the people Pinterest suggests might be great connections for you. Instead, they are all 19 year olds considering dying their hair silver or modern art curators. You have nothing in common except overlap involving veggie casserole preferences or a delight in clean track arm furnishings. These people will, hopefully, never need to find or harass you in real life. They will wonder what kind of nutcase purchases that particular combination of floor coverings, perhaps, but I assure you it all looks fabulous.

[Zen]

I got this email from Amazon with book recommendations based on my recent activity:

It seems I've been visiting that page a lot and it thinks that I might be interested in it? LOL! (OK, I might obsessively check the sales rank... It is an addiction... I'm not just an author and a photographer, I'm also a statistician... we're into these things. For those of you who have read the book, there is a lot of my personality in a particular character who really likes graphs...)

[Phoebe]

Oh I feel you. Just graph paper alone is enough. Charts of data.

Dog became trapped in room in middle of night. How? No idea. Released dog, who had a full scale freakout of every emotion and immediately peed all over entire floor while running around crazily. Thankfully a hard floor. Spent wee hours cleaning dog urine. WTH dog?

[Cazmonster]