[NBR:RPST]Round 2 Losers: Zombie v. Zen

[Kyle]

Even though this is the losers bracket, all hope is not lost in the double elimination tournament. But the stakes are certainly higher for these fighters! Whoever loses is going home! And here comes Dunder Miflin Paper Company, Inc.! While still young, he's got a real chance to make a name for himself if he can fight through the losers bracket here. And what's this? He appears to be practicing his winking! I don't know what kind of advice he got last night, but he certainly seems to be able to wink without using his hands anymore! Good for you, sport! And.... OH WOW! Hang up the phone and call me Maybe! But Paper Pushing Rock Cutters has entered the ring and what a brave sight! Obviously refusing actual medical equipment, he has his broken leg bound up with a slide rule, a yard stick and what appears to be electrical tape! The pain must be excruciating, but he's soldiering through it! This will be remembered for ages... OH MY! The crowd is working up a chant in support "PAPER PUSHING ROCK CUTTERS! PAPER PUSHING ROCK..." Oh, it appears to have died out-- not really a name that lends itself to a chant, but I'm sure he appreciates the effort!

Alright boys, meet in the center of the ring, give the ceremonial wink and... LET'S THROW FINGERS!

[Zen]

Another @#^%$#@ paper-centric team name? They're trying to get in my head, I tell you!!!! Don't underestimate me!!!!

[Zombie]

Best of luck in your second retirement after I humiliate you with this move, Zen.

[Kyle]

And the contestants are approaching each other. Here comes the ceremonial wink and... well wasn't that a good try! Dunder Miflin Paper Company, Inc. really gave more of blink, but the crowd is giving him a smattering of condescending applause! Good for you, chief! The effort is all we want to see!

Paper Pushing Rock Cutters winks, wobbles back on that back leg... OH LOOK OUT! He's fallen over onto his back! He's on his back folks! That bum leg is not doing him any favors tonight! But this really gives Dunder Miflin Paper Company, Inc. an opening to slide in with a quick move. But he doesn't seem to notice! GOOD GRAVY! He's still trying to master that wink! Stop it, son! You did fine! Just give... WHAT THE WHAT? It was a ruse! It was all a ruse by Dunder Miflin Paper Company, Inc.! He kneels down and sticks out a hand and... STOP THE GRAVY AND CALL THE NAVY! Paper Pushing Rock Cutters was just bluffing as well! With a grimace of obvious pain, he flips back up to his feet and... PAPER! THEY'VE BOTH THROWN PAPER! It's a tie! How are these competitors going to regroup after this turn of events?

[Zombie]

Zen. I'm throwing paper again.

[Kyle]

HE'S CALLED HIS SHOT! What a brazen move! Dunder Miflin Paper Company, Inc. has called his shot, announcing to Paper Pushing Rock Cutters and the world that he is picking Paper! And why wouldn't he? It's in the name! That folks-- that's sportsmanship! And Paper Pushing Rock Cutters is nodding! This guy gets it! In the spirit of camaraderie, he sticks his hand out and shows him move early! Paper! All day paper! Dunder Miflin Paper Company, Inc. nods with him, gives him a hearty clap on the back and... OH YOU MALICIOUS SCOUNDREL! He didn't throw paper at all! YOU LYING LIAR! He's thrown scissors! Scissors! Oh what underhanded and villainous tactics! You're not winning any friends here today, Dunder Miflin Paper Company, Inc.! The crowds boos are deafening as Paper Pushing Rock Cutters is stunned by the doublecross!

[buckett]

That's fucked up...

[Phoebe]

Impressive.

[Zen]

Here I thought he'd throw Rock, figuring I'd think he'd throw Scissors... I overthought...