Nerd Pride Radio

I don't know what I would do if confronted with people like the Westboro Phelps at convention. I would like to think the lure of convention and gaming and friends would keep me from busting faces. I would also like to think that going to jail in a town where I don't live would persuade me from mayhem. That being said, the urge to stomp them into something that resembles a wet prune will always be in the back of my head.

Oh - this comes from Episode 141 of the show.

The one good thing about them is they make hatred into such a laughingstock, it probably motivates people very effectively to go the other direction. One ferinstance ... when they had a protest at a funeral here once, a whole mass of bikers lined up with flags and completely blocked them from view. Cool to see.

I have seen their compound whilst on tour. The house across the street is the most vibrant rainbow of colors, it is delightful to see! Also, I got to flip them off as I drove by once. Not a direct confrontation, but I felt satisfied nonetheless. This doesn't help the conversation, but instead demonstrates how awesome I am. So instead of deleting the post like I normally do, I'm going to leave it and walk away slowly. Which really means I should do this:

*leaves a muffin in the middle of the thread and runs away*

Oh... A MUFFIN!

Cazmonster takes the muffin and sets it on a pedestal.

Imma eat so much muffin!

Oh, um, was this muffin yours? It was just sitting up here so I... um...

Today, I am a blueberry farmer.

Love blueberries in baked goods and granola.

*whistles as he walks in. Stopping abruptly at the sight of a few measly crumbs sitting on a pedestal.*

MY MUFFIN!

(surreptitiously brushes crumbs off shirt)

Man, I need a muffin now.

"TO THE MUFFIN STORE!"

Do you have any good recipes for muffins that have fiber without being some kind of psycho pleasure-hating Paleo Frankensteins? Like good old fashioned All-Bran muffins, back when you could find All-Bran. Ok now I wonder if some genius has made raisin bran into a muffin recipe. If not, I shall do this. I want some kind of multigrain muffin that is still fluffy and not dry.

I will pick through my Cooks' Country and Cooks' Illustrated magazines to find you one.

*whistles. A large black van pulls up."

You driving, Caz?

Ohohohhohohohoho!

Cazmonster climbs into the driver's seat and revs the engine a few times. Fire and demonic ichor burble out the back of the van.

This is gonna be great.

"Alright, we're headed to Topeka."

*climbs in the back of the van. There's some rustling followed by a loud pop as a huge chain gun cracks open the hatch in the top of the van. Eli pops his head out wearing both an aviator's cap and goggles.*

"Let's get some aggression out."

Cazmonster swells, almost impossibly, sprouting cybernetic enhancements and a shaggy purple pelt of muppet fur. At almost twelve feet tall, he's taking up most of the front seat. Drool covers surgically sharp titanium fangs. A massive bright green chuck taylor smashes the accelerator to the floor. The van leaps like it was stung, tires about to catch fire.

Hells Yes!

Elle gulps down the last of the muffin and, Violet Beauregard style, begins turning blue.

Here's my deal with those clowns, the church has 40 members and ZERO influence and they get infinite free press from the media providing outrage porn for people who live on that little rage thrill from feeling better than someone.