Buband

[Phoebe]

I have been seeking to purchase an additional "exercise bra / sports bra" for workouts, so RUNANIDE (he asks to be referred to this way) has eagerly suggested that I purchase THIS product straight outta the ninth circle of hell: https://buband.com/
He claims it gets "positive reviews". Positive reviews. On the internet. Amazon.
So let me be clear: my husband wants me to wear a tight few inches of elastic that, OPPOSITE to the purpose of a sports bra to lift, separate, and hold down the business, will in fact FLATTEN the tops of one's boobs straight down to the chest, while leaving the remainder of the boob to fend for itself in whatever bra is underneath.
The first thing that will happen, btw, is that the width of this Buband will Decrease upon Movement.
Anyway, does my husband know me? Has he seen my boobs? Does he imagine what would happen if I were to pin down the upper portion and let the lower portion fly?
Jesus Be A Fence.

Runanide now wishes to make comment upon this post.
Yes, my wife has big tits. Also, one should put two spaces after the end of a sentence, not one. Good day!

[Mike]

A. Buband looks dumb as hell and totally unsuited to its stated purpose. But I've never actually worn one, so maybe there's some magic there I'm unaware of.

B. There is nothing wrong with putting two spaces after a period, because we live in the 21st century, where any word processor worth its salt will automatically compensate by removing extra space in the finished text. Thus, you are free to hold on to those comforting, antiquated remnants of your pre-information-age youth, safe in the knowledge that modern technology will prevent you from looking like a backwoods Luddite to your peers. Best of both worlds!

[Phoebe]

The best of his peers agree on this, which only adds fuel to the fire. My kid is up TWO hours early this morning on a night when the security alarm randomly fired off during the night so I have sleep about 4 hours. Why?

[Mike]

Sure but "the best of his peers" are a group of 60-ish privileged white dudes who have people who do 85% of their typing for them.

[Kyle]

For the record, I will refuse to refer to your husband by any name that he insists has to be in all caps. I'll refer to him as Runanide, but never that other ego-feeding monstrosity. In fact, if he's going to insist on that, I'm going to always refer to him as runanide.

[Phoebe]

I'm sure he's okay with it if we simply call him Master, or Captain.

[Ronster]

I shall call him Ron. There is no higher honor I can bestow....

[Mike]

SHE calls him Ron as a reference to Ron Jeremy... because he's hairy and short.

[El Jefe]

I just call him Jim-Bob, the Space Cowboy.