Nerd Pride Radio

This question strikes me as too idiotic to post anywhere else. But it's a serious question. As you age do you find that you are more asymmetrical than you used to be? When I first started to notice this it wasn't a big deal, but it led to more noticing, more changes, and then a low-level sense of anxious malaise that it is not right to grow increasingly asymmetrical. One of my legs is noticeably bigger than the other. One of my eyes has become smaller and more squinty than the other and its eyebrow hair has literally started disappearing from the outside going inward. To make my face look normal I have to use eyebrow pencil! And the side that seems most normal still doesn't function as well - like the hand that is supposed to be stronger when I'm playing piano is now the weaker hand. What's up with that? It's low-level freaking me out. The side of my abdomen muscle is also herniated thanks to kid number 3, so there's something vaguely asymmetrical up and down the entire body, like I am always off balance or maybe shrinking or growing on one side. It's like Alice in Wonderland but it's at such small tiny levels that I'm the only one who can notice it. If this is some kind of symptom of craziness or dementia please don't let me know.

Totally normal.

So while we're on the topic of totally normal thoughts, do other people find themselves wondering whether various of their acquaintances work for the CIA or some other covert operation, which they have avoided doing only by having the pathetic kind of heart that breaks a little bit every time it has to kill a mouse? It's okay, I will provide the cover and not ask the many obvious questions about why y'all doing what you're doing.