Drunk Posting

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Fri Apr 13, 2018 9:10 pm

Hello friends, hello from my bed, where I lay on darkness, having achieverd Perspective in a positive manner. Im waiting for the movie yo start. I was promised movies but no movie forthcometh. Had I been dwn in the mouth? Poopy, and grumpalicious both, I stalked over the earth lately despairing of any meaningfulness to our life here in purgatory, far from God, separated from the good. Good damnit Google, I don't want a fucking emoji shaped like a human boy donkey. What the fuck? Always with this dumb donkey boy in my way!!! Who puts it there? Get rid of that whole person. Fire that person. We're living in Ranfian dystopia, we don't have time for some cretin who makes a dumb flipping a donket appear on your phone. Listen, I despaired. I expected worse; I found some kind of dolacsvin the fact that at the low point, a strong, angry thing that refused to be defeated was down in there, ready to march up and get through the day helpfully. It must be the hypnosis working. The four pillars are in effect. People, I just realized that after around age twenty-five my grandma did not ever own a pair of pants, much less wear them! She used to drive those first ever cars, the cranked up, constantly need to change a tire cars, she was a carefree flapper, jazz etc, but after that, never drove a car or wore pants again! Astonishing.

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Fri Apr 13, 2018 9:28 pm

The other Grandma did wear pants occasionally. I believe it began in the seventies when she began to wear the pants. These were polyester pants which match those types of tunics that used to have multi-color patterns going all around and it was a traditionally shaped sort of tunic, also polyester. Even so, she had a closet full of dresses. I went on the long diversion here about matters of medical and such importance. I decided retroactively to erase that long die of aggression about medical issues. Well that was a typo but it stays because it's hilarious and appropriate. Imagine yourself having to roll a very aggressive single die as if in a role-playing game when it comes to your medical issues. There it is.

Well the whole purpose of this is to be watching a movie. But it has been like nearly a half an hour and there's no movie coming on and no one is coming to put the movie on. And I'm tired and in danger of just laying and falling asleep if there's no movie. What movie would it be anyway where's my efforts. I think I have exhausted all of the relatively decent literary/historical period drama movies that either Netflix or Amazon has to offer. It was not a very long list so it was not hard to do.

The TV tells me that it is smart. I feel like if it has to say so that means is probably over rating its Talent.

Come along and ride on this Fantastic Voyage of Discovery as I try to find a movie on Netflix. Your device may not be connected to the internet please make sure your connection is working retrying 14 seconds code ... Wut? Aurochs. Yes. Obviously if I was going to have a real internet handle it would be aurochs.

There's an entire category of movies called because you watch North and South. That sounds extremely promising. It has led me to something called tulip fever which I hold slim hope has something to do with tulips. Feel like disappointment is a possibility for which I should gird myself.

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Tue Jul 03, 2018 8:10 pm

Unexpectedly present! I want you to know that I'm singing all of this and the voice to text if Google is not really getting it. I have to erase and try and try and try again! I sing in a particularly articulate manner.

I was made to drink wine it was not my idea to have more than one glass of wine that I was made to drink wine by my husband.

Now he is shopping for fireworks I think that you ought to know I am SINGIng this and its AWESOME I am sINGng and sINGng and nobody knows just how awesome it is. the Google assistant is mad when he misses things doesn't understand my singing and so when I call Ricky puts it in all caps that jerk

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Tue Jul 03, 2018 8:14 pm

I'm trying to sing to you that I am singing in verses like poetry but the Google Assistant does not understand me.

England Colombia was a disaster it was more disaster than not getting buff and you wanted at dinner. I was inspired by so many aspects. And I am telling you Coutinho - the Google Assistant does not understand Portuguese last names and things I am talking about a teenaged hooker. I'm going to have to change my assistant from a man to a woman because I'm sorry for the sad sexism the man is under qualified and incompetent at this job.

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Tue Jul 03, 2018 9:18 pm

I have been singing the words to go tell Aunt Rhody into my pillow. The only words to that song I know are the words Go tell Aunt Rhody. The song is unimportant; what matters is that I found out if I sing it cheerfully and loudly enough, I have this memory foam pillow, and it vibrates all the way through and then vibrates back at me so that my lips are also vibrating while I sing!

Someone downstairs is screaming the words, "why are there so many bugs?!" This is not a very good advertisement for me going downstairs is it?

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 10:32 pm

YEA we greet thee on this happy morning, yet it is only 1030!!!!!! 2230 for Those So Inclines.

Let me expaluto you. Here is knowledge:22wgeb you try to log in you pit in the catpcha. If you fail. If you do will demand captscham. You will try, fail. Gotta torun your keyborwd SIDEWAaAAu s to duccedm . Succeed.

Yep.
I know. Look. You wonder why] ? WhyM ? Well 8 tell toy. You. I tell you. It's be aueci have decided that life is short. Many expensive scotch is okay we live in e once. We live once. One time. Please enjoy it while you're living.

akiva · Postby **akiva** » Sat Oct 13, 2018 9:59 pm

I get to post here! First time I’ve been drunk in years!

I have nothing interesting to say, though. The funeral is Monday; it’s going to be rough.

akiva · Postby **akiva** » Sat Oct 13, 2018 10:01 pm

Okay now I have something to say, but it’s not interesting: my self-hatred apparently can’t recede even for something truly bad.

akiva · Postby **akiva** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:50 pm

Moderately drunk after the funeral, and holding it together so far.

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Fri Nov 02, 2018 10:04 pm

Greetings, citizenry. I'm swiveling. Chamoeen swivels.

Is Kendrick Lamar really the best? I'm not convinced. I'm not saying he's not good I'm just saying I'm not convinced he's the best.

SumDumTrim · Postby **SumDumTrim** » Tue Nov 13, 2018 8:55 pm

First off HELLO BITCHES! I am here because I have been drinking and I have to tell off my friend Pip. Pip I have known you for 18 years and have given you total and complete shit for EVERY ONE OF THOSE YEARS, and you unfriend me from Facebook because I make fun of you for not voting? FUCK YOUR ACTUAL VAGINAAAAAAAAAAA.

If I can tolerate Kyle, AKA mostly love. you can give your balls a tug and not run away crying like a girl, JESUS-ah.

To everyone else I love and miss you like buttered toast. Mad loves ferda.

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:20 pm

mimekiller · Postby **mimekiller** » Mon Dec 31, 2018 7:23 pm

whose going wild tonight

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Mon Dec 31, 2018 7:39 pm

If by "wild" you mean folding my way up laundry mountain while watching a Queen biopic and tippling the bubbly, then yeah, sure, wild as an urban possum.

Eliahad · Postby **Eliahad** » Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:04 pm

Um, it's been a while since I've posted here, but I wanted you all to know that you're all uniquely amazing and I'm happy to know you.

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Fri Mar 08, 2019 11:34 pm

Old person has an experiment. No idea where I amclose enough , buy I know it's close enough to crawl home with minimum frostbite

Eliahad · Postby **Eliahad** » Fri Mar 08, 2019 11:55 pm

Oh God, me too. Oh and the answer is, yes, Alex Trebek is a dick. I'll tell people about it at GenCon.

Phoebe · Postby **Phoebe** » Sat Mar 09, 2019 12:44 am

Go tell it on the mountain dual bladist. The indignities I experience sometimes are absurd. People are infantile. Thanks, autocorrect. My phone knows when the shit is real. I know my worth. This is my fate. People think it's so easy to cut and run; they have no idea.

Kyle · Postby **Kyle** » Sat Mar 30, 2019 10:00 pm

Yo. Do not go drunk shopping for hampers on Amazon. I’m pretty sure that I just paid 60 bucks for three hampers that are the size of my fists and will barely hold a shirt.

akiva · Postby **akiva** » Fri May 31, 2019 9:31 pm

I don't know if I’m drunk enough to qualify for this thread, but I’m gonna post anyway.

Since my friend died I’ve taken to drinking some bourbon after the kids go to bed—not too much, but more than I used to. Tonight I’ve been drinking a pretty strong one, and I’m feeling a bit buzzed.

The problem is that the bourbon sometimes brings up the bad thoughts. Tonight is such a night.

I don't really have a point.

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