Nerd Pride Radio

"Monsanto Peed on My Hydrant," the revised (and much angrier) manifesto of Farmer Woofington, an anthropomorphic dog who runs a farm on the puppy river (where the constant flow of puppies keeps turning the puppy mill, for the grinding of whatever it is that puppy mills grind), left in his one-room mountain shack as evidence of his eventual radicalization before the event that came to be known as the "Hoosa Gooboy Massacre" and Woofington's own death.

Plaintiff's Exhibit 1 in the libel and slander trial of Monsanto v. Estate of Woofington, in which Monsanto prevailed in proving that Farmer Woofington (an anthropomorphic dog who runs a farm on the puppy river (where the constant flow of puppies keeps turning the puppy mill, for the grinding of whatever it is that puppy mills grind)) lied about the hygiene practices of the board of directors of Monsanto, and in particular a completely fabricated incident about Monsanto's president Chow Chow McSnuffles engaging in lesbian watersports with a couple bitches.

A filing cabinet.

An attic.

A Victorian manor house

A steampunk novel horror novel about an acting troupe that consists entirely of werewolves.

In an unopened envelope on the desk of a literary agent who has stopped taking in new submissions because of her night job: hunting down and killing terrible acting troupes.

A Satchel of Many Pockets.

The Ultimate Equipment guide.

A milk crate full of gaming books.

The driveway of a man having a garage sale which was necessitated by his son suddenly leaving home to join a weird acting troupe.

A suburban neighborhood with a dearth of acting troupes (werewolf or otherwise).

The Austin-Metro area.

A sealed dome that ensures that the people of Austin are the only ones to survive the mystery plague that wiped out the rest of humanity, leaving the Austinites relieved and thankful until they realize that their resources within the dome are limited, and unless they find a solution, they will eventually run out of clean air and water.

Texas

A list of all the places where I was born.

A book of really boring lists.

My bookcase full of super-boring books.

A basement.

An empty lot.