Nerd Pride Radio

I am disgustingly repetitive.

So much serious s*** is going down right now... It's very stressful. I talk to a couple of my friends about this but they are going through even worse things than I am, so there's really no outlet. My husband's family is all going through worse stuff than we are and my family is going through worse stuff (thus a big chunk of the stressful!!!!!), and some of my concerns about the health of others require privacy and can't be discussed with family or friends anyway, at least not until the situation is clarified more. Ibuprofen is my outlet. I need to be on call for driving and doing things at all times so I can't even drink. Bah.

Man, that explosion in Beirut was terrifying.

No kidding!

Oh God, that is terrifying. Just saw it in news.

Mentally ill relatives. Like, seriously mentally ill relatives. That's all I can say about it.

Doing better with this, but it's still a bit of a struggle.

Eeeee. I have a friend I keep up with mainly on Facebook whom I originally met at work - she's not there anymore but I was surprised to find out she's my age and has kids older than mine, and so we became friends in normal life. I don't see her very often but pre-covid I did see her once in a while. Now this person does not want to be friends with me anymore because of the above mentioned batshit crazy MAGA relatives. Well, I don't know what to do with that - I sympathize, but I have multiple extremely good reasons to need to stay in touch with these relatives, and this s*** runs deep and it's not something I can discuss with people over the internet. So, goodbye yet another friend, and for what? I'm doing my duty, that's all I can say, and I have to do it.

Did I hear correctly that today is poorpete's birthday?! Happy birthday!

It is! Thanks Tahlvin!

Got a Google Hub I asked for today, not so much for the connectivity/ privacy invasions, but because it acts as a digital slideshow / picture frame, and as much as I've been waiting years for an electronic ink version of a digital picture frame, I gave in because this one dims based on the light in the room. Hopefully it's a good choice.

Can’t sleep. Bad thoughts swarming.

Nooooooo! Hope you eventually got the sleep.

One of my kids often has trouble having a normal sleep schedule. Melatonin an hour or so prior to ideal sleep time helps.

Melatonin was really good for our "non 24" people, but sometimes they have to be pushed to take it.

Trying to focus on massive gratitude for all the massively good things this morning. There is a thread of shared trauma in many people that reason and cognition cannot touch, producing very physically painful, gut-wrenching effects one does not want. Kind and well-meaning people will tell you to let it go, but it's not like what your brain says can always control what your body is going to do. The muscles of the body, the tissues, the nerves, they remember past trauma a lot more powerfully than you can influence them with ideas.

It's okay, measuring scales are useless and inappropriate in this situation, and I very much appreciate the supportive sentiment. But if you would like to expand your repertoire, it will only take a few decades to figure out that whatever mysterious sequence of electrical impulses in brain and body might be causing your wrenching physiological pain to disappear when you clean the kitchen vigorously enough, it is the same sequence that causes OCD. I'd rather fight that than have the pain, though. I know how to fight that.