Tahlvin Will Probably Kill This Unkillable Thread

[Phoebe]

I'm still looking for this morning.

[Tahlvin]

It was a rainy night
when he came into sight,
standing by the road,
no umbrella, no coat.
So I pulled up alongside
and I offered him a ride.
He accepted with a smile,
so we drove for a while.
I didn't ask him his name,
this lonely boy in the rain.
Fate, tell me it's right,
is this love at first sight?
Please don't make it wrong,
just stay for the night.

[Kyle]

I forgot to set an alarm- which I never need because it’s only gone off once in the last year because I always wake up before it. Until today! I woke up twenty minutes late and now don’t have time to walk! But you know what? It’s still a good morning. Good morning!

[Mike]

Good morning!

[Kyle]

Good morning!

[Eliahad]

Good evening!

[Tahlvin]

She calls out to the man on the street
"Sir, can you help me?
It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?"
He walks on, doesn't look back
He pretends he can't hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there

[Mike]

I said good day, sir!

[Kyle]

Tahlvin is mean.

[Phoebe]

It's because he runs around on broken bones and stuff making himself hardened against life. Or he is an actual robot, which nothing so far has helped rule out.

[Mike]

Tahlvin once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.

[Eliahad]

Tahlvin once created a splint out of duct tape for his broken toe, just so he could run in the snow for 13 miles, uphill both ways.

[Mike]

Did I ever tell you about the time Tahlvin went hunting? He decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle.

[Eliahad]

I mean, we all know why Tahlvin has bad dice, right? Ripped the Pathfinder core rulebook in half with his bare hands and Paizo cursed him there on the spot!

[Mike]

Tahlvin uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel.

[Kyle]

Good morning! Especially to Tahlvin!

[Tahlvin]

I wake up in the morning
And I raise my weary head
I've got an old coat for a pillow
And the earth was last night's bed
I don't know where I'm going
Only God knows where I've been
I'm a devil on the run
A six gun lover
A candle in the wind, yeah
When you're brought into this world
They say you're born in sin
Well at least they gave me something
I didn't have to steal or have to win
Well, they tell me that I'm wanted
Yeah, I'm a wanted man
I'm a colt through your stable
I'm what Cain was to Abel
Mister catch me if you can

[Mike]

Tahlvin successfully sued because his life story was stolen for the Mad Max saga. As part of the settlement, the character was renamed to Immortan Joe.

[Eliahad]

Tahlvin killed an unkillable thread without posting. Twice.

[Phoebe]