Postby Phoebe » Wed Nov 30, 2016 10:51 am
Haven't had a memorable dream for a while. Last night my kid did something naughty that could have gotten him hurt and scared me to the point where I gave up on the extra couple hours of work I should have been staying up to do, and simply collapsed in tears and went to sleep. It was one of those "even the well of anxiety that normally powers ocd is so overtapped that you cannot respond" moments. During the night I dreamed that I woke up in the wee hours, let the dog out, did some dishes, and sat down to do some work, as is my wont normally. This was all totally realistic. I found an email from my husband, who has irl been gone for a while for work. Surprisingly, it was this very long and romantic email full of detailed reflections on this and that and ending with how excited he was to see me again tomorrow. I was like, wow, nice email. I felt so happy - I was really surprised by this and felt a great and unusual sense of contentment. But then something weird started poking at the back of my brain when I closed the email. The name/address in the inbox was not my husband's. Yet I was pretty sure it was an email from my husband. Part of my brain was insisting, something is wrong with this picture. You are not awake. This is not your husband. Something is wrong. But the other part of my brain was like, no, this is totally as it should be and I will prove it! I got on my phone and did some sort of skypey/hangout thing that I never actually do irl though I suppose the phone is capable of it, and had a little videoconference with my "husband". It was definitely NOT my husband, yet I was convinced in the dream that I was indeed married to this person, who rattled on some more in a very pleasant fashion about what he had been up to lately and how pleased he was to come back home tomorrow and see me and also his stepkids. What? come again? your WHATS?!
At this juncture the other part of the brain starts shouting at itself: you are not awake! This is not real. Wake up! Try again! While the rest of the brain responds, no, this is real life and I am awake, yet it is all very surprising, isn't it? Finally the angry half of the brain manages to wake up the other half. I wake! I realize I'm in my comfy bed and flannel sheets. Husband is still on his business trip. All is well. I roll over and this time pull out my phone. I'll PROVE that the very realistic dream was not, in fact, real and was a dream, by opening my phone and showing myself that there is no such email from this person who is definitely not my husband! What an absurd idea - the very idea that I would have such an email! Ha ha ha... until, there it is again. Email from that same person, who is now apparently the new husband and "stepdad" (Jesus H Christ! my brain exclaims in shock, repeatedly). I immediately call him up. Of course you're upset and confused, wife, he reassures me pleasantly. You were so worried about your son - you know, my stepson - who did this bad thing he shouldn't have done, and it stressed you out, so you're having a nightmare. But I'll be home soon and I'll talk to him in the calm and rational manner you so like me for, and everything is going to be okay. Whew, great! I say in relief. I'm so looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. Meanwhile, the other half of the brain is now screaming hysterically: NO! This is an alternate timeline. This is NOT the right one. Get out of your dreamstate and drop back into the appropriate section of the multiverse where you are actually living! You're in danger. Stop it right now!
I wake up, luckily. Wow, that was a crazy dream! Here's my son, right here next to me, safe and sound, snuggled in asleep. I'm awake and I'll just sit here and think about the fact that I'm awake, not dreaming, and everything is ok. Of course I don't have an email from this guy who certainly would not be emailing me such an email... I will just PROVE it by opening up my phone right here on the nightstand and scrolling down and... oh. Dream repeats itself. This happened maybe a dozen times all night until I woke in a cold sweat at 6 am. W. T. F.