I learn things quickly. Other people will learn them better over time, but my starting level is very high. I have excellent body awareness when it comes to leverage and muscle use. (So in very specific situations.) These make me an excellent freelance musician, where I often have to learn difficult music at a high level. On top of that, I have a technique that allows me to play for hours at a time, much longer than a lot of my colleagues. I can also tell you exactly why I have the silent movie gig from the music perspective, and that is entirely because all of the training in music I had was actually exactly what I needed for this one esoteric job.
I also see patterns quickly, and while Flameblade blows my doors off at this, I can do it in the 2-dimensional notational system that is music exceptionally well.
My biggest thing that is holding me back as a professional is also my greatest strength as a musician. I try and make the people around me better, and I do this to the diminisment of myself. When your job (as a cellist) łs to support and accompany, this is the best thing you can do. As far as getting your own name out there to get better jobs? Diminishing yourself does not help with that.
Couple that with crippling anxiety and a low sense of self worth, some days it's really hard to get things done. And then on the days where you do stand up for yourself and feel confident, you spend the next two or three wondering if you did the right thing and trying to fix things that don't need to be fixed.Statistics: Posted by Eliahad — Tue Sep 12, 2017 4:42 pm
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