Nerd Pride Radio

It has come to my attention that one can hire a DM. The mass of middle schoolers wishes to play Dungeons and Dragons, specifically, and they want me to be their DM. Nope! No. I love them but cannot do this thing. It is worth my money and time to hire someone, but when hiring a random stranger to zoom with your kids a kind of intensive storytime, complications present themselves. How do I find a good one who is not some kind of creep? I don't need the most dazzling or well-versed GM, just someone who is good and trustworthy with the group of kids online.
Suggestions anyone may have?

Note: I tried to GM for people in this house and it is not possible. One sincere player, one half-sincere player, two pure agents of chaos. It won't work.

I'll be honest with you- GMing for middle schoolers was some of the most fun I had- you should give it a shot. The deal with middle schoolers is that they're basically up for anything, but they don't get offended when you have to railroad them for narrative purposes. Maybe it was just the groups that I run-- which were basically more "gonzo-style" play with a lot of fart jokes-- but it was a real blast.