Nerd Pride Radio

Starting up D&D again. Six players between the ages of 13 and 24. I had them autogenerate 10th level characters (done in less than 10 minutes) and in the first session had them fight a CR20 Green Dragon Wyrm, who was their mortal enemy. The dragon (of course) tore them to pieces and quickly killed all of them.

When they awoke, they were in a giant arena, and were greeted by a Half-Orc with long flowing hair and a long flowing white robe that he didn't bother cinching up, thus exposing his girthy half-orc genitalia. He introduced himself as Jesus Christ and informed the group that they had died on a historic spot that used to be an arena thousands of years ago. He made them an offer: if they would accept him as the king of all kings, he would offer them salvation-- namely reincarnate them as a random race and gender and let them build themselves back up in the arena until they feel they are powerful enough to be returned to their own time and world to slay the dragon. They accepted. Thus begins the campaign.

Campaign Rules
The players rolled a die to determine a standard race and gender. Then they created first level characters.

Each game session will consist of an arena combat followed by leveling up their character to the next level. Each time a player levels up, they will be given the level-equivalent of new gold to acquire new items.

Characters can (and will) be killed in the arena. If this happens, their character is resurrected and still levels up with the surviving characters. They still get their gold. They will suffer a non-consequential, but embarrassing curse that will inflict their character through the remainder of the campaign. Once a curse is assigned it comes off the chart and will be replaced.

All combat is contained in the arena and cannot leave the arena. Spectators cannot be affected.

The players can stay in the arena as long as they want, and ultimately decide when they are powerful enough to stop and fight their enemy.

Random Non-Consequential Curse Chart
1- The word "PEENY WEENIE" tattooed on their forehead
2- Before the first round of every combat, must throw up on self
3- A bowl haircut that appears on them even if wearing headgear
4- A ring that can't be removed and makes them smell like they JUST farted
5- An indestructible halo that hangs just over their head (or headgear) and sweats profusely on them when stressed
6- Whenever the player attacks or casts a spell, they have to make the appropriate "action sounds" with their mouth
7- Their shadow audibly laughs and mocks them whenever they miss an attack or fail a skill check
8- Whenever they get within 5' of an enemy, they wink and say, "Hey there... you!"
9- The character's parents are in the front row of the arena cheering them on and trying to give them advice on the fight.
10- The character's voice changes and they can only speak in a bad French accent.
11- Everyone they meet immediately turns them down for a date, even though they weren't asked.
12- Their crotch sweats profusely so they usually look like they just peed their pants.
13- When they talk (other than casting spells), they have to make quote marks in the air with their fingers.
14- They have big elf ears (like anime big) so everyone assumes they're an elf or half elf.
15- They have magical clown shoes that can't be taken off.

I can use help coming up with more non-consequential curses.

Also- their first combat is going to be against a bunch of baboons (which are CR 1/2). Considering they start across the arena and several are going to be picked off by spells and ranged weapons- I'm thinking 16 baboons. Too many? Not enough? Thoughts on numbers of baboons?

16 Cr 1/2 creatures would be too many but it looks like baboons are CR 0 with only 3 hp so 16 might be good. The survivors will probably get advantage on attacks so will seem scary but they don't do much damage.

Everyone they meet immediately turns them down for a date, even though they weren't asked.
Their crotch sweats profusely so they usually look like they just peed their pants.
When they talk, they have to make quote marks in the air with their fingers.
They have big elf ears (like anime big) so everyone assumes they're an elf.
Their shoes squeak when they walk no matter the surface (this would be deadly if stealth was important but no big deal in an arena).

Stan wrote: ↑Wed Jun 16, 2021 3:12 pm 16 Cr 1/2 creatures would be too many but it looks like baboons are CR 0 with only 3 hp so 16 might be good. The survivors will probably get advantage on attacks so will seem scary but they don't do much damage.

I was going to use these, which are a touch more powerful. https://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monst ... te-baboon/

Everyone they meet immediately turns them down for a date, even though they weren't asked.
Their crotch sweats profusely so they usually look like they just peed their pants.
When they talk, they have to make quote marks in the air with their fingers.
They have big elf ears (like anime big) so everyone assumes they're an elf.
Their shoes squeak when they walk no matter the surface (this would be deadly if stealth was important but no big deal in an arena).

I like these.

I think I'll do 12 (2 for each player) and having them hiding in trees in the middle of the arena at the beginning of combat.

MONKEY BUSINESS! Level 1 Results: Oh boy, y'all. This wasn't even that close. I had four trees in the middle of the arena. The north gate opened for the players and they saw the south gate open and there were three baboons there. Two wearing wizards clothes and hats and one with a helmet and giant sword propped to its back. (When they got close enough, they discovered that the clothes and weapon were just props- they were normal baboons.) But in the trees were 12 baboons with silence and invisibility spells cast on the them. When the players rushed the three "super baboons" (again, just regular baboons with props) OF COURSE they ran right under the trees. Baboons fell on them and attacked mercilessly.

Unfortunately I couldn't roll above a 10 for my life.

It was a slaughter. The monk was swarmed and knocked unconscious, but didn't die. The bloodrager (sorcerer/barbarian) took some damage, but never hit 0. The baboons were creamed.

So no curses and the Holy Gun (paladin with a gun) won MVP by secret ballot of the players. He was awarded a sentient +1 cape that cannot speak, but loves to swoosh around real extravagantly.

Here's my plan for Level 2- Cockatrice Fighting. Like cock fighting, but each player is assigned a Cockatrice. In the center of the arena is a 10 foot deep pit with a rail around it. The players start at the rails. Each player has a magical link to their cockatrice. As a full round action, a player can put their fingertips to their temples and concentrate REAL hard to control their cockatrice (it's an opposed Will save, but the players get a +5 bonus because of the nature of the link-- cockatrices naturally have only a +2 bonus on will saves). If a cockatrice is not successfully "controlled" then it attacks the closest living creature in the pit. The cockatrices' wings are clipped so they can't fly. A player can use the rail and lower themselves into the pit as a full round action without taking damage- or just jump in and risk the standard damage from a 10' fall. A player might want to do this to get in wicked melee attacks after their cockatrice is out- or just for the fun of it. They can also do ranged attacks from the rail. The winner is the player with the most "kills" (which includes knocking a creature unconscious) at the end of battle.

What the players don't know at the start is that they also get points for taking out other players (not just cockatrices) and that the battle doesn't end until there's only one living creature left conscious.

Damn. That's a great idea. It's also the kind of thing you couldn't run in a normal campaign as it would be a near tpk. But they're expecting to each die a few times.

Stan wrote: ↑Fri Jul 02, 2021 10:26 am Damn. That's a great idea. It's also the kind of thing you couldn't run in a normal campaign as it would be a near tpk. But they're expecting to each die a few times.

Exactly. Also- up to this point, I think they've all assumed that they're going to be on the same team each time- just fighting progressively tougher monsters. I'm excited to introduce this wrinkle.

After an eight month hiatus, we finally got to do cockatrice fighting! AND IT WAS GLORIOUS! Feelings were hurt! People were killed! No one was petrified!

One player tried jumping into the pit and swinging away at cockatrices with his Great Cleave feat, but it failed quickly as the cockatrices and the players around the rail targeted him. One player figured out in round 2 that he could attack other players around the rail and then the it was really on! Shockingly, it came down to two players that each had only a half dozen hit points, and one got lucky and prevailed. It was pretty cool.

Met a person with curse 4 at the grocery store yesterday! It happens. It's serious!