Nerd Pride Radio

Have I not discussed this here yet? Holy cow. Buckle up, kids, because here's the story of something that has absolutely changed my life.

So I went to my doctor for a physical at the end of last year. And she was happy that I've lost weight and encouraged me to lose more. She was concerned because my blood pressure is still on the high end of normal even though I'm on blood pressure medicine. And due to my sulfa allergy, I can't take water pills. And she doesn't really want me to go on beta blockers (nor do I want to). So she says, "Have you had a sleep study for sleep apnea? Because people with severe sleep apnea often have high blood pressure that's hard to control."

I laughed in her face, saying smugly, "No. But I don't have sleep apnea. I sleep great. I can fall asleep at will. Within 90 seconds of hitting the pillow, I can be asleep. I'm sleeping 7-8 hours a night. Not a concern."

She gave me a patronizing look and said, "Yeah. So you know those are signs of sleep apnea, right? You know those are signs that you're sleep deprived, right?" I sputtered shamefacedly and then she laughed in my face and said, "So we're going to order a sleep study."

So I got an at-home sleep study that I did over three nights. I had to wear this band around my chest and an oximeter on my finger and a thing strapped to my face that had a tube just under my nostrils. All connected to this box that was plugged in. It was kind of irritating, but I got used to it by the second night. After three nights, I boxed it up, sent it back to the testing company, and guess what? I have very severe sleep apnea!

Shortly after that diagnosis, they ordered me a CPAP machine and I chose to go with a full mask. When it arrived, I realized that my beard was screwing up the seal the mask made, so I bravely decided to shave off my facial hair so it could work to its full extent.

LIFE-CHANGING!

I truly had no clue that I was sleeping so poorly. But then you start sleeping properly and actually getting a good night's sleep and it changes everything. Some examples: (1) because I was only half-sleeping all night, I would regularly wake up to use the bathroom three or more times a night; now I don't wake up at all; (2) I have WAY more energy during the day; (3) and this is probably most important, I feel way more clear-headed; mentally sharper? It's crazy how much better I feel and even crazier that I've gone all these years thinking I was sleeping great when I was hardly sleeping at all.

I did get upset looking like a middle school vice-principal without my beard, so I changed from the full mask to "nasal pillows" which are these things you strap around your head and they make a seal with your nostrils. I'm not a mouth breather at night, so it works great for me.

A lot of people say to me, "Yeah, but I couldn't sleep with something strapped to my head," but here's the crazy thing- now I can't sleep without it. It's truly the best.

Other people say, "Yeah, but they're so loud," but it's not. The new ones hardly make a sound and my wife doesn't hear it. In fact, she loves it because I don't snore at night anymore. Ever.

So before the CPAP, under the study, I was having between 25-30 "events" per hour while I was sleeping. That means that every 2-3 minutes I would stop breathing and partially wake up to gasp for air. With the CPAP I'm having .2 events per hour, which is considered a normal healthy person (anything under 5 is considered healthy).

That's great! I'm happy that it worked for you!

Glad you're getting good sleep now, it's so important. I have this sneaking suspicion that more people than not have sleep apnea, but I'm no sleep scientist. And there's actually probably public data on this, but I prefer to keep to my sneaking suspicions.

How exciting! Good sleep is so important. I have been on this journey with a slightly different path: at first I was diagnosed with very mild sleep apnea, and I had a really good doctor. I was able to go to a wonderful dentist (tbh I had a certain fondness for my dentist!) who took impressions and fixed me up with a very low cost dental appliance to prevent sleep apnea by adjusting the position of the jaw. The unit locked into place with spikes that looked for all the world like fangs, so I called these my fangs and I loved my fangs. The dentist was an evangelist about sleep apnea and would sell these things basically at cost, because I think he had sleep apnea and was outraged at how they were gouging people. After some time with him and my fangs, my wonderful dentist died! And I think maybe he died because of his sleep apnea!

Eventually the fangs broke and I was forced to seek another dental appliance. I went to a gang of criminals who charged somewhere between three and $7,000 for these devices. They also insisted that you visit them three to four times a year to make sure they were maximizing their profit from your insurance and your bank account. I despised these people but it was the only place I could get the proper dental appliance in town - others advertised but did not have the proper thing! My insurance and I paid nearly $5,000 for the privilege of having one of these devices. It saved me from death and misery for some years. Then I was forced to travel somewhere and... Well, let's skip the details and make a long story shorter: My $5,000 dental device is somewhere in the state of Wyoming. Or maybe it has been washed into the ocean at this point. I was really unhappy about that. It was very much not my fault and I was very unhappy.

My doctor moved to Texas, and her clinic dropped me as a patient without any warning! I could not get a new dental device without her prescription help! My insurance wanted a new sleep study! But no doctor would prescribe a sleep study! I lived for a very long time without any devices, stressing all the inner organs, growing fat and closer to death. My spouse was close to assigning me a separate bedroom for the sleep times. Finally I managed to get a new doctor, a new sleep study, and permission to advance beyond the dental devices. Now I sleep in the mask of a jet fighter pilot. I am a mouth breather; the whole face and head must be fully contained in the unit. I call it the jet mask for short. Although my conscious mind loves the jet mask, my semi and unconscious minds do not love it. I am engaged in an intense battle of deception and hostility with my own mind in order to keep this goddamn jet mask on all night. My unconscious mind is a very angry little animal that does what it pleases and does not care. Manipulating it is like getting a cat to take a pill willingly.

Update to the CPAP journey:
I have been traveling frequently since late spring and discovered I really need to travel with my device because I can't live very happily for long without it. I went back to the gym and lost a lot of weight and improved the muscle tone of the neck, which makes the sleep apnea less severe. But I still have it so I'm using the mask...

Fast forward to me being far from home and losing one of the essential magnetic pieces of the mask! Being handy with needle and thread I was able to gin up a solution but it wasn't great. Amazingly I was able to find a whole new headset in a remote location. This experience seems to have wiped out whatever cognitive or unconscious blockage was causing me to take off my mask at night! I convinced my brain somehow that I really wanted this mask and now it tries to keep it on at night.

The moral of the story is if you find yourself having trouble keeping the mask in place at night, It's worth trying different types of trickery and cognitive training to make your brain submit to itself. I hope your mask situation is a lot easier given that it is nose only and not the full face. But there is something comforting about nestling the full face into the little pillow. After a long time with the mask I no longer even notice the stream of air flowing in... In fact I worry I don't breathe well at night without the air I've been trained to suck in happily. I love this machine, honestly - Good sleep is invaluable.