Advice Needed

[Phoebe]

Do not do this incredibly stupid thing, I said.
The stupid thing was done anyway.
The result was an event totally embarrassing to our family and, very likely, offending one of our neighbors.
Suppose that you find yourself in this situation where "you" plural have done a thing to offend your neighbors. You wish to make the situation better by offering some sort of apology, like a little handwritten note and maybe a gift. The idea would be not to give the sense that the gift is recompense for the embarrassment, since it is not meant to be an equivalence. But something like, so sorry we're idiots, wish we could make it up to you by taking you out to dinner but here have this gift card and do it yourself because pandemic.
Is this an appropriate way to apologize to one's neighbor? I honestly have no clue I have never been in such a situation because as stupid as I am, I don't generally do things this stupid. Which is why I said not to do the thing that was done anyway over my objections because I have no say in so many things that I ought to have control of in my life.

[Kyle]

Too vague.

[Phoebe]

I'm not sure I can clarify. The main thing is, it's normal to take your neighbors things like a tray of muffins or a little plant or something as an offering of goodwill. However, when you have done something offensive to the neighbor and you wish not only to make a goodwill offering but a kind of extra special goodwill offering motivated by shame and guilt (why do people so often oppose these in cultural analysis when they go so well together?), it seems like muffins are not the thing. Maybe something more or better is required. But what? If we were going to give bigger thanks for something, to the favored neighbors with whom alcohol has been exchanged, we would give them a nice bottle of scotch and a thank you note. However, the rest are Christian teetotalers or ministers or policemen and whatnot - the offended party is a combo in this zone - and the offering is to be accompanied by a note of apology rather than thanks. I want our neighbors not to hate us; we are maybe not The Worst people living here but it's not for lack of trying.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I hear you. I’m just saying I don’t know how to give advice with no details at all.

[bralbovsky]

So, in the absence of details, let me try to create a parallel hypothetical:

The neighbor (new) is sort of an idiot. A few nice conversations, but certainly not a year's worth. It's like they're engaging in some mildly criminal behavior, but I understand they just don't understand country life, and they're from the local equivalent of New Jersey. So...expectations are low.

They build a large pigpen, have three large pigs. Against code, but with no legal repercussions. It ends.
They install uplights...yes..and don't remember to turn them off. It's ok, they don't remember to replace the bulbs either.

These are non-encroaching offenses. There has been no response or 'apology.'
What would I want? What would rehabilitate my non-relationship?

If you have a relationship with these people, be guided by where you want the relationship to go.
If you have no relationship, don't bother. Muffins, or a gift card might put you on the radar, but really can't replace a casual conversation, of the variety one might have while walking the dog. Unless you know for certain they were offended (it's entirely possible these days they didn't even notice) don't bother.
Some self-deprecating personal face to face after the pandemic will be sufficient, "I don't know what we were thinking....That was a real Swiss Family Robinson kind of noob error....I hope our isolation and thoughtlessness was more amusing than offensive...."

If this doesn't apply, I can take another bash, but in general I do a proactive golden rule approach...how would I like them to behave? Then I reduce expectations a notch or two.
I learned a long time ago that I am barely the center of my own universe. Mostly people don't even know I exist, so the errors I obsess over are like the stars one can barely see. It doesn't help to point them out.

[poorpete]

I think that's the right tact.

They build a large pigpen, have three large pigs. Against code, but with no legal repercussions.

That's it! Please, Phoebe, give them a pig!

[Phoebe]

This is why I ask for advice here. I think the obvious solution is a grocery store gift card: one step up from muffins, I can say it is recompense for X offense, in a way, and they can buy their own pig portions to suit.