I'm off Facebook because it's becoming Twitter- just a bunch of people shouting things at each other and no one actually listening or having a discussion. Good friends yelling at other good friends, and stopping their friendships because they're calling each other Nazis, godless people who've lost the church, and terrible names. I'd posted for a while about how people needed to stop trying to "own" each other, and actually have a discussion. But I've lost that battle. Particularly as a liberal living in a rural county, it's pretty disheartening to see people being so rude and terrible to each other over things like masks, vaccines, abortion, minorities.
So I've given up. I'm not deleting my account or anything, but I'm deleting the apps and making all my posts private. I checked it for the first time today in a week to see if it had calmed down at all, but it was so much worse.
This is our new reality. This incivility isn't limited to people's interactions online- it's not the way people are acting in real life: booing a child who speaks out in favor of mask mandates; threatening to kill each other over abortion (geez, y'all); brandishing guns on their hips at "protests" as forms of intimidation.
I don't really think that Trump created this. I think that Trump was the perfect storm to tap into it. This behavior was already building on "news" sites like MSNBC and FoxNews, and more so on the fringe conservative and liberal sites. Indeed, Trump only rose to be the megacelebrity that he is because this was a growing phenomenon, right? The Apprentice was a wildly successful show about a guy who yells at people when he fires them. Hell's Kitchen was a wildly popular show about a chef (the french word for "boss") that yells, insults and demoralizes people busting their ass for him. Fuck that. And fuck that mentality. Trump didn't create this- this created Trump. And then like a vampire, we invited him in with all the coverage and nonsense that his whirlwind circus brings.
And you think it can't get worse, but then Facebook has become Twitter. And neighbors and friends who've known each other for years (if not decades) are ending those friendships because of nonsense divisions. All because we have to be right, and yell at those that tell us we're not right. Because it's not okay to change your mind. Or to admit you were wrong about something. It's all about winning and not about coming up with answers to real problems.
So maybe it's that I'm not in the best of spirits right now-- I'm in an immobilizing boot that has kept me sleep deprived for the last three weeks, and won't come off for another three. But I'm trying hard not to be a grumpy old person. I sincerely feel as we get older that we need to be mindful of how easy it is to take comfort in the "known" and to avoid new experiences-- that's how you become a grumpy old person. But I'm going to be honest. It's getting tough. The urge to give up on people is pretty strong.
But I'm not going to give in to it. I'm replacing Facebook with NPR. I'm going to use this place to bullshit, discuss and post about dumb shit. Y'all won't respond to most of it, but I know that y'all are all good people who I respect. So if you feel the need to comment, do so. If you don't, that's cool too.
The fight to not be a grump
Re: The fight to not be a grump
1. I appreciate your posts even when I don't respond. If this site had reactions, I'd be giving them all thumbs up and smilies.
2. I totally get what you're saying. I've largely given up on Facebook. Most groups seem infected and have almost no actual discussion or useful info- and I'm talking about things like gaming or homeschool groups, not political groups. I log in every couple weeks to see if anybody died or anything.
3. I also agree that Facebook is reflective of a larger problem. I think part of it originates form Rush Limbaugh and his imitators. His output was partially made possible by Reagan's relaxing of media rules for truth and balance. Newt Gingrich also helped to make disagreement akin to a war crime. The issue has been worsening ever since then.
I don't see any good answers to solve the problem any time soon.
2. I totally get what you're saying. I've largely given up on Facebook. Most groups seem infected and have almost no actual discussion or useful info- and I'm talking about things like gaming or homeschool groups, not political groups. I log in every couple weeks to see if anybody died or anything.
3. I also agree that Facebook is reflective of a larger problem. I think part of it originates form Rush Limbaugh and his imitators. His output was partially made possible by Reagan's relaxing of media rules for truth and balance. Newt Gingrich also helped to make disagreement akin to a war crime. The issue has been worsening ever since then.
I don't see any good answers to solve the problem any time soon.
Re: The fight to not be a grump
Good for you on not logging into Facebook as much. Sorry you're in a boot. Miss you friend.
Re: The fight to not be a grump
While you've got a boot and are feeling grumpy you should go around Texas kicking people who deserve it, I'm just saying. Don't let this moment pass because of your soft-hearted compassion for humanity.
Re: The fight to not be a grump
Yeah. Uh, that’s kind of exactly the type of behavior I’m complaining about. Hard no.
Re: The fight to not be a grump
Well, it's your choice, but if I had a temporary +1 boot of smiting and lived in Texas, I wouldn't be letting that opportunity go to waste! Do you have crutches, or will the doctor give you some? When I look even older I'm planning to walk everywhere with a cane. "Constitutional Carry"!
