Nerd Pride Radio

I like the term "pearl clutching" because it evokes a sense of false panic and concern over something that a person knows won't really affect them.

But I think I should stop using it because it also evokes an overweight woman in a Marx Brothers' film who hears Groucho say something scandalous and then she grabs her pearls, says something like "I do declare!" and then faints.

Is this a misogynist term? Should I eradicate this from my vocabulary?

I've already stopped using the offensive terms for indigenous people: "Low man on the totem pole"; "off the reservations"; etc. But this one is a little more in the grey area for me. But then maybe I only think that because I like the term so much because of the distinct picture it draws.

I don't know if your term is innately misogynistic. I can understand that you feel that it might be, and if that is what you believe, than I would totally stop using it. There are words or phrases that I used much more frequently in my youth than I do now, because I do not feel comfortable with the words coming out of my mouth.

There are still some words that I use that may offend people, but I am using because I simply don't know a better word. And I'm not trying to be offensive. I had a student teacher last year that chewed me out for using the term "queer." I know that is a term that has been used in a negative sense, and that was totally not the sense I was using the word in. I used the term to broadly define students who identified as gay/lesbian, bisexusal, pansexual, asexual, aromantic, panromantic, trans, gender fluid. And, in the context of how I was using the word, I was using the word that this particular group of students used to define themselves as a group. However, he took offense to that, as someone who said he was somewhere in that spectrum of usage - though he did not, when asked, provide me with a term that I should have used. So, unfortunately, cynical old man that I am, I continue to use that term, but explain that I don't know a better word. I have tried saying LGBTQA+, but for me that seems almost more insulting, particularly if I get the order of letters mixed up, or haven't touched upon the correct letter.

How much do we let others know of the appropriate vocabulary? I had a coworker who I would say is generally very aware of language that is problematic or downwright offensive now. They used the term "gypped", and I had to explain why they might not want to use that term anywmore. But when I teach music theory terms, there are still problematic languages that are used in older text books/analyses/writings I explain to the students what those terms are, and what the more modern parlance is now. (Examples: "primary & secondary theme" instead of "masculine & feminite theme", "augemented second: instead of "gypsy interval") But those terms still pop up. I don't want to perpetuate that language - but should people know these older, less acceptable phrases exist and what they mean? (And why we don't use them?)

What... what...

Darcs?

DARCS!

Buddy! I missed you!

I missed DMDarcs, too!

DMDarcs wrote: ↑Wed Jul 10, 2024 4:53 pm How much do we let others know of the appropriate vocabulary? I had a coworker who I would say is generally very aware of language that is problematic or downwright offensive now. They used the term "gypped", and I had to explain why they might not want to use that term anywmore. But when I teach music theory terms, there are still problematic languages that are used in older text books/analyses/writings I explain to the students what those terms are, and what the more modern parlance is now. (Examples: "primary & secondary theme" instead of "masculine & feminite theme", "augemented second: instead of "gypsy interval") But those terms still pop up. I don't want to perpetuate that language - but should people know these older, less acceptable phrases exist and what they mean? (And why we don't use them?)

So my rule of thumb is that I just tell people, "We shouldn't say that anymore." When someone uses "Off the reservation" that's what I say. When someone uses "gypped" or (much worse) "jewed", that's what I say. It's not a big deal. I just look and say, "We shouldn't say that anymore." And then if they agree with me or not, they stop using the language around me. Also- maybe it makes them think about it. Sometimes they ask "Why not?" and then I have a discussion about it.

This is a particular problem when I hear men use the word "bitch" or refer to a woman as a "wench." Sometimes they get angry, but I just try to have a conversation about it. And at the end, sometimes they hear what I'm saying, and sometimes they think I'm just a sensitive snowflake liberal. Either way is fine because they almost always stop using the language around me, which means it's made some kind of difference no matter how small.

The real grey areas are around things like referring to a "master bedroom" which I've heard several sources say we should stop using because it refers to slave language from plantation-style homes. I don't know the truth of that origin, but why wouldn't I start just saying, "main bedroom" or "primary bedroom" instead. But I don't know if that term has reach enough into the social consciousness for me to look at someone and say, "We shouldn't say that anymore." But as I type this, I'm thinking that maybe it has.