Life or Death Debate: Best RomCom

[Mike]

Life or Death Debate: Choose the hill you want to die on over a completely inconsequential matter of opinion and defend your position as if the lives of your family depends on it.

The judges will score the round arbitrarily whenever they damn well feel like it.

Debate #1: What is the best "RomCom" movie?

[Tahlvin]

There are a lot of good ones, ones that I really enjoy watching with the better half. But if I'm going to die on a hill over the best one, I'm going with Say Anything, 1989, starring John Cusack and Ione Skye.

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that... What I really want to do with my life - what I want to do for a living - is I want to be with your daughter. I'm good at it.

[Kyle]

Elf.

[Eliahad]

Elf.

I believe my colleague from the great state of Texas has missed the part where he must defend his answer. So, sir, how would you say that something so saccharine and sweet as Elf is actually deserving of the title of 'best'?

[Mike]

I'm going with Say Anything, 1989, starring John Cusack and Ione Skye.

Wow. That is a surprisingly good answer that caught me off guard. A good answer... but also a WRONG answer. Lloyd is an aimless drifter whose main goal seems to be hooking up with a sugar mama who can support his kick-boxing dreams. The lesson of this movie for young men is that if a woman rejects you, you should definitely intensify your stalker behavior so that you and Peter Gabriel can win her over. I was quite enamored of this movie myself as a teen, but Lloyd has just become problematic over the last 30 years.

A film that doesn't have this problem? Simply the greatest RomCom of all time... 50 First Dates, starting Drew Barrymore, Sean Astin, and Rob Schneider. 50 First Dates is the clear winner, because it is a timeless love story in which Adam Sandler has to make Drew Barrymore fall in love with him over and over again every single day. Amazing!

My fingers are extra fishy today, if you wanna take a whiff.

[Mike]

Elf.

I believe my colleague from the great state of Texas has missed the part where he must defend his answer. So, sir, how would you say that something so saccharine and sweet as Elf is actually deserving of the title of 'best'?

Furthermore, my good sir, how do you even justify it as a "comedy", much less one of the romantic variety?

[DMDarcs]

The Princess Bride. Romance drives the entire working of the key relationship structure between Wesley and Buttercup. Their love is passioate without being over sexualized or erotic. The film also touches on familial love and love for your friends through the character of Inigo (and the Grandfather as a framing device). Despite the fact that it is a romance story, the film also easily grasps the attention of teenage boys who would ordinarly refuse to watch the film on title alone and convinces them that is a good movie. The comedy is interspersed throughtout the film without resorting to gross-out humor or punching down. It is immediately quotable, and is referenced quite often. (Just saw it referenced on The Office last night.) Did you know that there was a shot by shot remake of the film performed by various celebrities from their homes on quarantine that was shown on Quibi? The writing of the film is so TIGHT that despite the fact the actors playing the characters changed every 3-5 minutes, nothing was lost in terms of storytelling. I would postulate that it is the most often quoted film during wedding speeches of all time.

[Mike]

Oh damn! The judges called this one early after DMDarcs's bombshell entry!

The judges have given the gold to Darcs for his irrefutable logic. 5 points for DMDarcs!

In a surprising (to Mike at least) upset, the silver goes to Tahlvin, with the judges calling Mike a "pompous butt biscuit" who failed to recognize the purity of Lloyd's optimism and devotion in Say Anything's sweetly charming tale of first love. 3 points to Tahlvin!

Finally, Mike snags the bronze and 1 point, but only by forfeit as there were no other serious entries (at which point, the judges glanced meaningfully at Kyle, who utterly failed to notice).

[poorpete]

The Apartment, the apex of the genre, funny and romantic and dramatic minute by minute. But I dunno how I'm going to win this debate if most of y'all haven't seen it and my recommendation will probably not change that.

I guess my only hope is to act like a political consultant and go negative on all opponents. So, uh those movies are terrible and they support the Pelosi / AOC socialist agenda.

I'm just kidding I love all of you. 5 points to everyone

[Mike]

I guess my only hope is to act like a political consultant and go negative on all opponents. So, uh those movies are terrible and they support the Pelosi / AOC socialist agenda.

I'm just kidding I love all of you. 5 points to everyone

Oh. My. God. This. This right here has made this entire exercise 111% worth it, as far I'm concerned. I'm like, no way! Is poorpete really gonna go negative on everyone here? Pete? And then he pulls the rug out from under me at the last second with his Shyamalan-esque final twist. Kudos, Pete! If you will accept it, I happily give my bronze to you. More than worth it.

[Phoebe]

It's not called "The Apartment", it's called Rosemary's Baby, and yeah it's a fun romp but I don't know that it's the best RomCom ever. Agreed with Darcs winning the gold; no point contesting it. Silver goes to a movie called My New Gun; regardless of whether anyone else has seen it, reality is what it is.

[Mike]

Nope. I just realized that I should have made a serious play for Mr. Right as the best RomCom contender. Anna Kendrick and Sam Rockwell are magic together.

[bralbovsky]

Can't beat darcs.
Never a fan of Cusak, always plays the guy who says something to make you believe he's a lowlife and turns out his deeper motives are even lower.
Never saw 50 first... Sandler and Barrymore also not on my "worth 20 minutes to see if it's good" list.
Same often true for whoever the elf guy is.

Rom com is a series genre in my head, not so much movies, mostly because the classical definition of comedy=romance (where not everyone dies)

Coming late to the contest I think of them as movies you would take a date that if you really wanted it to work out and progress quickly.
I submit my favorite .
Life is Beautiful. although that may qualify as a tragedy...I submit to the will of the judges.
It's full of hilarious and terrifying sight gags as well as the sense of suspense in comedy that the hero is going to be caught, but not the 'going to be caught' where someone does something stupid or venal, or told a pointless lie, but caught doing something heroic and selfless and improbable.
The brilliant scenes rival TPB in their scope and are, in my view, much more comic and much more romantic as opposed to sliding into the action/adventure genre. The hero will never win a fight, but nevertheless can win the bigger struggle: to prove to the object of his desire that she is everything.

Should that be disqualified because of the inevitable climax, I submit
Moonstruck.
Neither Nick Cage or Cher are very funny people, except in real life.
The cinderella transformation, the improbability of the opera (both my choices include an opera scene, which I think might be a secret backdrop to great comedy). The layered story, with the family living out other facets of their own little rom-coms.
Don't get me wrong, I like the greek chorus trope of the grandfather and the boy reading, but the peripheral stories surrounding the main plot are much more subtle and less of an interruption.
" Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know this either, but love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. The storybooks are *bullshit!. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and get in my bed! "

[Phoebe]

Cancel everything; this man has won; this man has won. In fact it's a frightening thing and I'm going to stop reading now because he has too many powers.