Robot Romance (always SFW but never prudent)
Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2021 8:42 pm
"Please take my shoes upstairs when you go," she called. With a low, purring hum, the intelligent, multi-function vacuum cleaner approached.
"Do you need a fresh pair of socks, my lady?"
"No, thank you, these are fine. Wait, what are you doing?! Leave my foot alone!"
"Oh, I am terribly sorry!" It waved an arm around as if to communicate distress. "There was a hair stuck to your sock, so I took it off."
She sighed and nodded. "Ah, I see. Thank you, that was kind. I was afraid you were trying to touch my foot!"
The machine emitted a mellifluous chortle. "Ha. Ha ha. You are a kidder. My darling, you know I would never touch your foot without your express permission, and I know how terribly unlikely you would be to grant it! I suppose if a bus were about to run over your foot, I might try to grab it out of the way, but even then..."
"No need to puzzle over it further. I am greatly relieved to hear it. Although it is true that if one's foot must be touched, best that it be by a cool, smooth, dry metallic hand like yours. Nothing wet or moist or disgusting should come into contact with a foot, obviously. I suppose you could touch my foot if it were already safely ensconced in a shoe."
"I understand you completely. Of course nothing like that should ever happen! Now, let me go up to get the blanket. I'll be back before you know it!" The cats on the back of the couch looked up expectantly at the mention of a blanket, but otherwise remained motionless as she continued knitting.
"Do you need a fresh pair of socks, my lady?"
"No, thank you, these are fine. Wait, what are you doing?! Leave my foot alone!"
"Oh, I am terribly sorry!" It waved an arm around as if to communicate distress. "There was a hair stuck to your sock, so I took it off."
She sighed and nodded. "Ah, I see. Thank you, that was kind. I was afraid you were trying to touch my foot!"
The machine emitted a mellifluous chortle. "Ha. Ha ha. You are a kidder. My darling, you know I would never touch your foot without your express permission, and I know how terribly unlikely you would be to grant it! I suppose if a bus were about to run over your foot, I might try to grab it out of the way, but even then..."
"No need to puzzle over it further. I am greatly relieved to hear it. Although it is true that if one's foot must be touched, best that it be by a cool, smooth, dry metallic hand like yours. Nothing wet or moist or disgusting should come into contact with a foot, obviously. I suppose you could touch my foot if it were already safely ensconced in a shoe."
"I understand you completely. Of course nothing like that should ever happen! Now, let me go up to get the blanket. I'll be back before you know it!" The cats on the back of the couch looked up expectantly at the mention of a blanket, but otherwise remained motionless as she continued knitting.