Nerd Pride Radio

Antwerp

Betwerp

Pittsburgh

Ransacking Pakistan?

Alabama

Portal to hell.

Alta Mesa, Arizona

Limbo

Arkansas

I think the page break threw you off. Let me try again.

Saskatchewan.

Saskatoon

Newport News

Nanu nanu

Sweden

Arkansas River

Enjoy the silence

Ashland

Denali

Illinois

Stick 'em up down under?

Senegal

Arizona

Albuquerque

Afghanistan

Baghdad

Dagestan

Allegheny County

Yakima

Antwerp

Again? We were just there!

I finally understand.

Punxsutawney

Good morning!!

Argentina

Alpharetta

Yes, quite. Good morning, indeed.

Djibouti

Trees, ranked. 6. Aspen

This tree is absolutely gorgeous, whether in green or pale yellow or golden yellow form, with its light and graceful trunk and branchings and fluttery, flower-like leaves. This tree is made to filter sunlight in the most beautiful ways, to create soft and beautiful forest landscapes, and even to clone itself into enormous, sprawling single-organism stands. In lower-central Utah, for example, one finds Pando, a genetically-identical single organism sharing a massive root system, one of the largest and oldest living creatures on earth. He is under some stresses from the environment and wildlife lately and he appears from the outside to be different trees, but unlike the Borg he really is all the same stuff manifesting through over 40,000 trunks. Anyway, even if you have a single-trunked Aspen, it will be beautiful.

Part of Pando:


Other Aspens:

Oshkosh

I hate all of you.

Trees, ranked. 5. Ponderosa Pine

This tree bears the primary responsibility for the beauty of forests across most of the western and even central US - for example, it is the dominant species in the most beautiful of all the forested places, the Black Hills of South Dakota. You can identify it by the combo of very intensely green needles plus dark reddish bark with black lines. It is gorgeous from afar, from above, beside, and particularly while walking or riding along the glorious carpet it creates beneath. It anchors whole ecological systems but is also beautiful as an individual tree. Of all the trees on the list, this one surprised me most because the more I looked into it, the higher it rose in the ranking and the more securely it rested there. I had not quite realized just how important this specific tree is to all the beautiful forest places I love the most, but luckily now I do.

Good afternoon.

Trees, ranked. 4. Red Maple / Acer rubrum

They're big, they're red, and they're the Fourth Best Tree in the world! They're reasonably quick-growing without being too weak, they're nicely rounded in shape, they're smooth-barked and good for climbing, they're gorgeous year-round with cheerfully bright green foliage before the fall color comes and an attractive light branch structure after the fall leaves fall. Please do not confuse this tree with hybrids like the Red Blaze mix of Silver Maple and Red Maple - these have some of the structural weaknesses of the quick-growing silver maple and are being overplanted. Red maples are widely planted but that's okay. They're dazzling:

Kyle wrote: ↑Wed May 25, 2022 12:35 pmI hate all of you.

Aren't you supposed to start saying places with the letter A and get mad at us when we don't follow suit alphabetically? I suppose that's what happened.

THAT'S WHAT I JUST DID!

I HATE YOU SECOND MOST OF ALL!

Trees, ranked. 3. Blue Spruce - Picea Pungens

Queen of all the Conifers and Evergreens, the beautifully shaped, sturdy-limbed, perfectly-hued Blue Spruce is the Third Best Tree in the World!
The picea pungens name sounds like an indication of spicy scent but simply means it has super sharp poky spruce needles - recall these needles are known by their pointy ends and blocky structure, relative to the firs and cluster-needled pines. Why is this the third best tree, you may ask? I will tell you: because it's blue. And it's a spruce. It's a blue spruce and it looks like this. End of story.

Augh! I'm trying to help, Kyle! I really am!

Trees, ranked. 2. Ginkgo biloba

The ancient Ginkgo is the last of the species in its entire order, the Ginkgoales. It is long-lived, with many specimens living hundreds or even thousands of years. Specimens that are hundreds of years old have been tested and still found to be in mid-life and continuing to grow. They are prized yet underplanted and easily produced from seed, so feel free to spread them over the earth. Their seeds are not fruits and the soft portion of them generally smells unpleasant to people. Good! The males produce a lot of pollen but the females produce None and have wonderful fall color, so consider planting yourself a Lady Ginkgo. Six of these trees survived the bombing of Hiroshima and are still going today. They are resistant to diseases and insects, have a fascinating and uniquely textured bark, and their lobed leaves are unlike any other sort of tree. They generally turn pale yellow to deep gold in the fall. Their branching structure creates regularly spaced offshoots at around 80 degree angles, producing a completely unique and beautiful structure which tends to expand at the crown over time. Younger ones will appear more rounded rather than oblong. It was difficult to rank this tree #2 instead of #1 but we must consider this fact: the product of the ginkgo, despite being used as medicine and touted as a cure for many things lately including cognitive sharpness, does not seem to actually do anything and may in fact be toxic for many people to ingest. Don't eat your ginkgo - just plant it and love it and behold its nearly infinite glory!

Leaves:


Fall Color:


Regular light green color:

Eliahad wrote: ↑Wed May 25, 2022 1:45 pm Augh! I'm trying to help, Kyle! I really am!

I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU! YOU'RE A MONSTER! A MONSTER AND I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH MONSTERS!

I JUST WANT...

...

I just wanted...

...

you

Actually, I'm okay with that.