Nerd Pride Radio

Kyle

Love him. And I love how angry he makes white people. He doesn’t curse. He very devout. But he refuses to code switch for white people despite becoming successful and influential. And this is what angers white people. He doesn’t act like white people “proper.” Fuck all of them. Coach Prime is great ...

Kyle

Epilogue ONE YEAR LATER! They get married. The end. Seriously. Super shitty epilogue. Rose and Other Lady were the bridesmaids. SARBros were the groomsmen. The dogs were the flower girls. Oh, Jathen finally kiss. I guess they were waiting for marriage. Here's what really pisses me off. They didn't e...

Kyle

Look for the pictures on Facebook. They'll be lit.

Is that what the kids say? Lit?

Kyle

Amish Country Ransom- Mary Alford. The worst book I've ever finished. Read the summary here:

https://nerdprideradio.com/babble/viewt ... ?f=6&t=774

Kyle

Well, not yet.

But tomorrow I go on a cruise! Here's the deal- I'm out of internet range and only have access to Facebook through the cruise package I bought. WHICH MEANS that I need everyone here to hold down the fort for me while I'm gone.

Kyle

Chapter 21 This chapter is stupid. It's all about Jathen talking to Other Lady-- remember, the one that the book HARDLY MENTIONED for the whole book-- about her back story, and something about amnesia, and something else about how she thought she was Amish but wasn't, and how that wouldn't have matt...

Kyle

Chapter 20 This is getting so hard to keep doing. You'll see why in a second. The whole team gets there and, as I suspected, Ethan, Jade and the dogs (?) take the lead. There's some snipers and a bunch of perps, but they're all just inexplicably taken care of by faceless feds. So Jathen (a couple na...

Kyle

I saw this last week. What a tool. "Yeah, the problem with the economy is that the working class is too greedy. They need to remember who's in charge here!"

Kyle

Chapter 19 Whoa. So apparently after talking to his dad, the Senator, Keller is ready to sing like William Hung on American Idol. He confirms that they have suitcase nukes and were planning on a coordinated strike across the country. But he won't say, because the guy who he's working with is very po...

Kyle

Chapter 18 Ethan reunites with the SARBros and Sheriff is there too! The feds get the perps under arrest but no one knows where Keller is. They get to the Farmhouse and they all storm inside, but Keller isn't there. Ethan tells them he's in the basement. As they go down, shots ring out. It's Keller,...

Kyle

Chapter 17 The two perps start marching Ethan and Jade into the woods- because it would just have been tacky to shoot them dead in the road. Suddenly they stop. Did you hear that? There's someone else in the woods. Wait is that... Just then the three SARs dogs come charging out of the woods to attac...

Kyle

I mean, to be fair, I took some artistic license in my summary about the palm snotting (thus the disclaimer confessing speculation).

Kyle

I do all the dishes and laundry in my house. But I'm weird because I like doing dishes and laundry.

Kyle

Chapter 16 Buckle up, kids. Shit's getting real. The SUV drives for a bit. Jade and Ethan hear them arguing and talking about going to The Farmhouse. Jade confirms that she doesn't recognize either of their voices as Div's. They pray together in the way-back seat. Then the SUV stops. They're there. ...

Kyle

Chapter 15 So we're still walking through the woods. And we're walking. And we're walking. There's more tortured looks at each other as Ethan and Jade try to figure out if they trust themselves enough to love the other. The dogs find fresh blood. Is it Rose's? We don't know that, Jade! As Ethan comf...

Kyle

More than anything it's the constant use of "fight them hand to hand" that tells me this was primarily an AI effort. When we're done with this book summary, I'm going to post up for ideas and prompts for us to have Chat GPT write our own Amish Suspense and Romance novel. I think we can do...

Kyle

Chapter 14 More walking through the wood and following the dogs... I guess? It doesn't really say where they're going or what their plan is. And it doesn't matter because they're talking more about how much their lives are scarred. Ethan even breaks down and starts sobbing about his dead wife. Jade ...

Kyle

Mike wrote: ↑Mon Sep 18, 2023 7:11 pm Does it really just keep calling them perps through 13 whole chapters?

Yes. And instead of describing hand to hand combat, it just says they engage in hand to hand combat.

Kyle

Chapter 13 Jade and Ethan take a break to catch their breath and give the dogs some water. This is where we first learn that two of the SAR dogs are St. Bernards. I'd been picturing them as labs this whole time. I wish I knew this in Chapter 1, I feel like it changes anything. So while they talk abo...

Kyle

Chapter 12 We've been here before. They're going through the woods. They come across some perps. There's a shoot out. Jade and Ethan get "pinned down" and manage to shoot three of the perps. The fourth is wounded but gets away. Thankful that neither of them was wounded they say this prayer...

Kyle

So I looked it up and discovered that's why the author is emphasizing "hand to hand" as the genre of fighting: you have to have hands and not paws, because combat proceeds by slapping hands against the other person's hands or even pushing against their hands as hard as you can. A dog woul...

Kyle

Chapter 11 We're out of the woods! Climbing out of the freezing river, Jade and Ethan confirm that the perps lost them. At the top of the ridge, through their binoculars, they see a farmhouse with a light on. While you might think Rose is being kept there, you'd be wrong dear reader. Apparently it's...

Kyle

Chapter 10 The gunshots hit the engine and the car careens out of control to the edge of a cliff. They have to bail on the vehicle or they'll plummet to their deaths. Ethan calls the dogs to the front (oh, so they are there) and pops his door, throwing the dogs out, then grabs Jade and they both tum...

Kyle

Chapter 9 So look, I was a little harsh on Chapter 8. I've had some time to reflect and spoke with my therapist and we're working through it. She asked me if I was setting unrealistic expectations when demanding both hot Amish action and less wilderness trekking. She has a point. But enough about me...

Kyle

False advertising! I don't care if it happens in Amish country. If I buy a 214 page book called Amish Country Ransom, I expect plenty of Amish and at least a smattering of Ransom. We're almost halfway through the book and we've had almost none of either.

Kyle

Chapter 8 As they traverse the woods, the dogs get hot on the scent of Rose and in the distance we see a group of old buildings with a light on? Is it a trap? Ethan and Jade better approach to find out. In the small camp they find indications that Rose was actually kept there. But Div must have disc...

Kyle

Chapter 7 Oh my gosh! So many perps start attacking Ethan and Jade. And for some reason they want to fight them hand-to-hand instead of using any of that military grade weaponry they had. But as the book has already established, Jade is super good at hand-to-hand and takes down several perps with ha...

Kyle

Chapter Six They find the cabin and it's bone-chilling cold. Ethan wants to start a fire, but he knows the smoke will draw the perps straight to them. Awww yeah. We know where this is going. As they prop up Jade's ankle and let the aspirin do it's magic, they both start talking to each other about t...

Kyle

It's not 100 degrees! Praise the baby lord jesus! And here's the best part: mid-90s predicted for the next seven days!

I can't tell you how happy this makes me. We haven't had cold tap water since May. I can't wait to get cold tap water back.

Kyle

Chapter 5 So they're running around these trees, and the dogs pick up Rose's scent again. But every time they seem to make progress, you now what happens. Right. They hear the M1151 Enhanced Armament Carriers again. There's a whole bunch of running around in the trees and gunfire chasing them as the...

Kyle

Brilliant. She's being held in a bunker at gunpoint and being told to write a crazy suspenseful Amish novel. So she's winging it. Well, whatever the circumstances, she's definitely winging it.

Kyle

Chapter 4 The dogs have a hot scent on Rose, but their progress is stopped by a sound of machinery. Using their night vision binoculars, Ethan and Jade spot several M1151 Enhanced Armament Carriers headed right towards their location. You might not think this is a big deal, you ignorant reader, but ...

Kyle

Also, how come the lead characters in this, the protagonist, the live interest, the bad guy, none of them are Amish? This isn't Amish suspense, it's Amish-adjacent because the Amish are only tangentially involved in this story. Disappointing. I'm looking for more of a Witness-vibe, where our protag...

Kyle

Chapter 3 As our Scooby gang follows the tracking dogs through the woods, you might be wondering why they haven't called for backup. Well, it turns out that there's a heavy wet snow falling, and so none of the them have cell service, not even the Amish guys. This will be important later but for now....

Kyle

Chapter 2 Secured in the cabin with the Amish SARs Brothers (ASARBs?), Ethan inspects Jade's wound. Just a flesh wound! This calls for another prayer to the Lord! But as he looks into her emerald eyes, Ethan worries that he's falling in love with Jade, which makes him feel like he's betraying his de...

Kyle

Chapter 1 Holy shit, this jumps right into it. Let me introduce you to our hero, Ethan Connors. A former marine who served in Afghanistan, Ethan has retired to Amish Country in Montana, even though he's not Amish, and now trains dogs for the local Search and Rescue team (referred to annoyingly as SA...

Kyle

Hello, and welcome to the frightening world of Amish Suspense! Knowing how much you loved Amish Cradle Conspiracy, I thought I would regale you with the bone chilling tale of the Amish Country Ransom. Before you say anything… you’re welcome.

Kyle

It hits all the emotional buttons!

Kyle

It’s 7pm and 106 degrees. I’m ready for this to be over.

Kyle

Kyle

Its going to be 108 today. We've had something like 40 days this year over 105. Its been miserable this summer and everyone in Central Texas is exhausted from the constant heat. But we're supposed to get rain this weekend and highs next week in the high 80s!

Kyle

He definitely has my eyes and hair. I'm thinking he's the love child of me and bearded Kevin James

Kyle

A Desolation Called Peace - Arkady Martine. This is the sequel to A Memory Called Empire (see review above- my favorite book of the year so far). And while it is great, it falls short of the first book by a hair's breadth. What Martine does in these books is amazing- it's all politics and then she ...

Kyle

YAAAAS QUEEN! I'm so excited!

Kyle

Mike wrote: ↑Mon Aug 21, 2023 6:03 pmAnd now I think the nation as a whole is starting to get over that bullshit and realize that the mega-rich all LOOK like they're always winning because they all started in first place with a 300 lap lead over the rest of us.

If only the MAGA crowd could come to this realization.

Kyle

He's fucked and he's in a spiral. That's my theory. I think this is right. He was born into money (which is how the vast majority of rich people become rich- particularly the mega-wealthy). He's always gotten his way. I'm sure he also has an infantilized, "chosen one" vision of himself an...

Kyle

Wow. What dummies. Did they not think there were cameras?

Kyle

Three thousand years of Longing (2022) This movie I give a five out of five stars. I think most people here would enjoy it at least in some way. I'll just say this: Idris Elba plays a djinn awakened from his bottle prison by Tilda Swinton, solitary professor of narrative studies. The movie is fille...

Kyle

Moon Over Soho - Ben Aaronovitch. This is the second book in the Rivers of London series (which I found out- there's like ten books in the series). Read my review for Rivers of London to get the feel for it-- basically it's a policeman who discovers he can do magic. It's Harry Potter for adults. I ...

Kyle

The Paris Apartment - Lucy Foley. It's a murder mystery, and this author is very good at constructing murder mysteries. I liked her other two books much better than this one, but again, this was really well put together and well written. It involves an English woman investigating the disappearance ...

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